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Friday, December 8, 2017

Cooking Cranky Style part three

Cooking Cranky Style part three

Because apparently there are not enough cook books in this world, books by kooks, cooks, crooks and chicks with looks, I am contemplating adding one more…a cook book by a crank, “Cooking Cranky Style.”  A book of Cranky recipes.  Meals that are quick, easy, need no special ingredients and are tasty.  Food that is not special, but that anyone can make. Simple stuff that can be whipped together without extensive shopping, planning and measuring.  Meals that are easy clean ups.

This is part three:

Cranky Chicken salad

Yeah, I know, BORING!  Hey, I said not special, simple and cheap.  Besides, this has a super-secret ingredient.


Two Chicken breast

Three celery stalks (inside, not those stringy outside stalks)

One large tomato (or two small tomatoes, perhaps three real small tomatoes, or about ten cherry tomatoes.)

Mayo (Does not have to be “Hellman’s”, regardless of what my ex-wives say, mayo is friggin mayo)


And the super-secret ingredient shhhh:

A large handful of raisins


1.    Grill both breasts till cooked but not so much as to dry out

2.    Have one breast for dinner, save the second to make salad

3.    Remove skin from second breast and chop meat into small chunks (no bigger than ½ inch squares)

4.    Chop celery into quarter inch pieces

5.    Chop ½ tomato into quarter to half inch pieces cut the rest in slices (If you used cherry tomatoes forget the slices)

6.    Add chicken to a bowl and salt and pepper to taste (That means lots of salt and lots of pepper)

7.    Add celery, tomato, raisins with spoonful of Mayo and mix

8.    Add more mayo if all ingredients are not evenly coated

Serve on a bed of lettuce (iceberg, none of that stringy veiny healthy crap) and a half Thomas’s English muffin (Does it have to be Thomas’s?  YES!) and the slices of tomato with a glass of Pinot Grigio*.


 *This salad does not pare well with a matter of fact, nothing pares well with chardonnay, chardonnay is swill.


  1. And the mayo needs to be Best Foods. Just saying. This sounds really good. Thanks.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

  2. You're making me hungry and I agree with Sandee - I use Best Foods - PERIOD.

  3. Sounds yummy!

    The trick is to keep the raisins from blabbing their secret to everyone; those little black dots are notoriously bad hiders. . .

  4. I beg to differ! A rich, buttery Chardonnay would go quite well, though I think a croissant is a better option than the English muffin. Maybe you're trying to be healthy 😂

  5. If one must drink white wine, I suppose Pinot Grigio is all right.

  6. Bijoux - Swill I tell you! It may pair well with Reality TV though.

    Catalyst - Clearly you can't have red with poultry!

    I have no idea why not, but clearly!

  7. Sandee/ Debby Hellmann's and Best Foods are brand names that are used for the same line of mayonnaise and other food products. The Hellmann's brand is sold in the United States east of the Rocky Mountains, and also in Latin America, Europe, Australia, the Middle East, Canada and South Africa.

    And all mayo is made the same and tastes the same, it is not rocket science!

    1. "made the same and tastes the same"
      No and No.

  8. If chardonnay is swill, I love swill!!

  9. Sounds tasty. The raisins were a surprise, but I enjoy the Arby's chicken salad sandwich, and they use grapes. I guess your "grapes" are just a little older.

  10. Iceberg lettuce is rubbish, all water and no taste. I use cos lettuce, which you people call romaine and it isn't at all stringy, I buy the baby variety.
    The salad sounds interesting, but I might use less mayonnaise, for me things don't have to be completely coated. My favourite mayo is the "Thomy" brand, good flavour with just the barest hint of mustard.

  11. Thomas English muffins = muffin crumbs. I would have to drink the whole bottle of chardonnay if I had to deal with those sorry excuses for a bread substance.

  12. I love chicken salad. I’m showthis to my wife.

  13. Chicken salad is one of my favorites, especially with good ole mayo and not any of that MW stuff my wife likes.

    I do like your Cranky cooking style and would be happy to sit down with you.

  14. You had me at the raisins. My very favorite salad addition.

  15. hope this is serious one Joe

    never tried chicken for salad as it meant to be about veggies mostly