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Wednesday, March 31, 2021




A Cranky Opinion for Cranky Opinion Friday

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little expertise on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are wrong but welcome.  As always, no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid-head!

Well, they passed a new voting law in Georgia.  This has caused a shit-storm in the political world.

One side says it restricts voting availability for those that have difficulty getting to the poles.  The intent of the law is clearly racist.

The other side says the law is to make voting easy while also making fraud more difficult. 

I don’t know either way.  There must be some truth to both sides. 

I know I need an ID and proof of residence to take out a book from the library.  Perhaps stealing a book is worse than stealing an election.

I do have one dog in this fight, and one observation/question.

My dog in the fight is there has been an outcry to boycott/move the Master’s Golf tournament unless the law is changed.  When my favorite golf tournament is threatened is when I have had enough of the “Cancel Culture.”  

My observation/ question is this:

Observation - Every year at election time the news shows long lines of people, mostly in inner cities, waiting to vote.  They wait apparently sometimes for hours.  People want easier election protocols as a means to make voting easier and to eliminate these long lines that discourage voting, especially in heavy Democratic neighborhoods.

In 50+ years, I have never had to wait more than 5 minutes to vote in any election.  If I had to wait in line for hours to cast a vote that given the politics of my state would not even nudge the result needle an iota, I would not vote. 

Long lines discourage voting. 

Voting should be easy.

Question: Since these long voting lines seem to be in the same places every year, and those districts are mostly controlled by people who want easier voting, then why do they allow such long lines?  Does it take a rocket scientist to determine that areas that historically have long lines need more places to vote? 

This ridiculous...FIX IT!

Open up more schools, churches or arenas to handle voting and keep the lines reasonable.   Have a voting place on every block.  Hell, for one stinking day allow voting at the local McDonalds or the corner grocery store.  I’m pretty sure smart people could figure it out.

Supply and demand.  More places to vote, no lines!

Another way to fix this is to allow voting for several days/weeks.  More voting could be by mail.  Easier voting over many weeks-time and by mail in ballots would probably not significantly increase voter fraud, but it would certainly give credibility to any claims of voter cheating.

Credible claims of cheating is almost as damaging to the process as proven cheating.

Same day voting at established voting places with valid voter ID is the most conducive to voter legitimacy and the least conducive to claims of fraud.  Same day in person voting should be the norm along with secure validated absentee ballots.

Getting valid voter ID should be easy.  Long lines at the polls are unconscionable and should be easily resolved.

Do it!  Everyone vote! 

Both sides, fraud/suppression…Shut up!

And leave my golf tournament alone!

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man, and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.  

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Thank You Katalin


Thank You Katalin

On the last day of this month which celebrates women, I choose to celebrate Katalin Kariko.  Katalin is not as well known as Hillary, Kamala, or Nancy.  Most people do not know her gift to the world.  I have never heard of her until today when Captain Don sent me an article.

While politicians try and claim credit for a successful Covid-19 vaccine, the name Katalin Kariko goes unspoken.  Joe Biden did not develop the vaccine.  Donald Trump did not develop the vaccine, and Pfizer or Moderna might never have developed the vaccine without Katalin Kariko.

From the article:

“...In 1978, Katalin Karikó was a young scientist at the Biological Research Centre in Szeged, Hungary, when she started working on the idea that it could. She left Hungary for the U.S. in the 1980s. At the University of Pennsylvania, she still struggled to design mRNA that the body did not immediately reject. When her research failed to attract the support of government grants and university colleagues, she was demoted.

Demoted for not following THE science; but because she followed HER science, the technology of teaching the human body to defend itself did not go unexamined. 

The article goes on to explain the science, but it did make my brain bleed.  Suffice to say it took 40 years of really smart people following the lead of Katalin to develop the Covid vaccine overnight.  The technology mRNA standing for messenger(or modified) ribonucleic acid is where the Moderna company derived its name.

In addition to the Covid vaccine, mRNA technology might be used to create better flu vaccines every year, might save millions by protecting people from malaria, might be used to attack specific cancer tumors, it might have uses yet not conceived.  It might become one of the greatest technology breakthroughs of this or any century.

So, when you get your shot, you can thank Don, sure he helped remove some barriers.  You can thank Joe, he helped the distribution.  You can tip your hat to Pfizer and Moderna, but the biggest thank-you should go to the person who had an idea and would not let others change her focus.

The biggest thank-you belongs to Katalin Kariko.

Sunday, March 28, 2021



 I am often asked by family or friends, “Why do you and Mrs. C fight so often?”

I reply, “We don’t fight, we bicker.”

What is the difference you ask?

This is one area of couples dynamics at which I am expert.  Let me explain.


“JOE! Did you take out the trash?”

“NO, I forgot.”

“You ALWAYS forget!”

“I DO NOT, I sometimes forget, and there is still time to take it out.”

“Why don’t you EVER remember?”

“What is the big deal, I’m on it now?”

“The big deal is I ALWAYS have to tell you because you are LAZY and STUPID and a pain in my ass!”

“Shut up!”

“No, YOU shut up and get off your fat ass and toss the trash!”



Under my breath, “F*ck You!”

That is a fight. 


“Joseph…did you take out the trash?”


“No you didn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you always need me to remind you.”

“Not always.”


“Shut up.”

“YOU shut up.”

“No YOU shut up.”

“How are you going to make me?”

“By taking out the trash.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“Yeah, but I’m your jerk.”

“I know!”

“Where are we going for dinner tonight?”

“How about the Boob place, we haven’t gone in a while?”  (Very nice local restaurant where the waitresses happen to be well endowed…we always forget the name of the place.)

“Sounds good, Boob place it is.”

That is bickering.
re-run from June 2019

Saturday, March 27, 2021




This weeks stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

Cheerleader at Applebees performs CPR on man having a seizure – Give me a "C" give me a “P” give me an “R”, give me a “CPR!”

Ex-UFO program chief explains the three leading theories on the origin of UFOs – 1. they are from another planet. 2. They are from another planet. 3. They are from another planet.


Most people fall into an 'internet wormhole' five times a week – WTF?


Children's book on Dr. Anthony Fauci set for June – “Do you like Covid-19?” “I do not like it, get the vaccine!” “Do you like it on a chair, do you like it in the air?” “I do not like it on a chair, I do not like it in the air, I do not like Covid-19 I do not like it, get the vaccine!”


Ukraine health ministry says woman who died after COVID vaccine had no side effects – Well, other than death, there were no side effects.


Canada's $645,000 toilet questioned by critics – If the toilet seat could actually answer any questions, it would explain why the damn thing cost $645,000.


Iowa woman, 104, gets COVID-19 vaccine decades after surviving 1918 flu pandemic – Woman says, “This pandemic thing every hundred years is getting tiring!”


First house on the moon could be yours for $60M – A bit expensive, but it does have a beautiful view of Earth.


Prison guard 'who gave birth to a convicted murder's child after sex romps behind bars' sobs in court as she's spared jail – She used the George Costanza plea, “Is that wrong? Should I not have done that? Because if I knew that was wrong, I never would have had sex with that prisoner.”

Swan terrorizes homeowners by constantly knocking on front doors – And I thought the Jehovah’s Witnesses were bad.



FEEL GOOD STORY of the week


Clever Dog Always Brings a Leaf to ‘Buy’ Himself Treats At The Store –

I guess he saw people buying stuff with green paper…how cool is that?



Friday, March 26, 2021

Stand…Kneel? A Cranky Solution


Stand…Kneel? A Cranky Solution

A Cranky Opinion for Cranky Opinion Friday

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little knowledge or expertise on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are wrong but welcome.  As always please keep comments respectful and without name calling...that includes you, you big stupid-head.  


Colin Kaepernick started it.  First not standing and then respectfully kneeling during the National Anthem before sporting events.  It ruined his career, but it did make a statement.  It brought attention to police brutality and profiling in the African American community.

Don’t get me bogged down on the “Bad Police” argument.  It exists.  Police are not always nice.  There have been a few occasions where they have not been nice to me or people I know.  Being nice is not a trait that tends to lead to effective policing.  Police deal with not nice people.  Not nice people do not respond positively to nice treatment.  African Americans are often treated “not nice” first, and maybe nice later.  I’m not a police officer and I am not African American so I have no further input or knowledge on the situation…only what I read and hear from the few friends I have in either group.  Clearly a situation exists.  There needs to be dialog and acknowledgement to address the situation.

Kneeling before athletic events helped to start a dialog.  Now it is just another distraction to stir up resentment.

African Americans kneel in solidarity with their brothers…sometimes.  White players kneel in solidarity with their teammates…sometimes.  In all cases it has caused more division than solidarity.  To kneel or not to kneel is a question that is a turn-off for players and fans alike.

To many people, kneeling indicates disrespect for the country and a dislike for police.  Not kneeling is disrespectful to your teammates and to some might even be racist.

What to do, what to do.

I have a Cranky solution.

Players should take a vote and agree to all act together.  Unity is very important to any team.  If the decision is to kneel than this is what I suggest.

Players all kneel together at the start of the anthem to call attention to systemic racism in the country…actually the world.  Then when the anthem reaches "hailed" at Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light What so proudly we hailed all players “Rise” in unity to show respect for the flag and the country.

This simple act would garner more attention than standing at attention or kneeling.  It would speak to wanting improved race relations in the country while also showing proper respect to the flag and all who have sacrificed for the country.  It could become a sporting tradition. 

It would be a healing gesture, not a divisive act.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management...Mrs. Cranky 


Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Who’d a Thunk It?


Who’d a Thunk It?

Sometimes when you run out of stories you just have to steal someone else’s.  In this case I am stealing one from Fraternity pal “Captain” Don.

Don’s moniker used to be “Squeak”, a name I’m sure he did not cherish.  Pretty much no one likes their nicknames.  Guys generally name their friends in the least likable way possible…I don’t know why; it is just a guy thing.  Nobody wants to be called “Frog” Hogg-jowles” “Gawk” or “Coconut head” but that is what happens. 

Don had a bit of a high pitch voice and thus “Squeak.” 

Years later Don got his pilots license and owned a small plane.  From time to time, we would fly out to play at  his favorite golf course.  I decided that I did not want to risk my life in a small plane with a guy named “Squeak” so his name became “Captain” Don.


Don lives in the farm lands of New Jersey…yes, Jersey does have farms…he raises nothing except a few cattle possibly to maintain a “farm status” property.  On his several acres of land Captain Don has a small pond.  The pond serves no real purpose other than it is pleasant to look at while hoisting a beverage on his patio. 

Don’s “farm” has a truck.  When it snows he uses it to plow his long driveway and the driveways of his neighbors.  Clearly Don enjoys plowing snow in his big-ass truck. 

He also has a riding mower, a Christmas present to his wife, Peg.  Don clearly does not enjoy mowing the lawn. 

He also has a Utility Vehicle or UTV which he uses to drive to his mail box and occasionally to move stuff around…pretty much it is just a big toy.

This fall Don was teaching his young grandson how to operate the UTV.  What young boy would not love to play with such a cool toy.

Now, Captain Don can fly a plane, but he apparently is not too good at instructing 10-year-old boys in the operation of a UTV.  He showed him how to start it up, how to steer, and how to shift.  Apparently, he did not teach him that the UTV will roll when in neutral, on an incline and without using a parking break.

Long story short, UTV’s do not float.

The grandson was fine.  The UTV not so much.

Captain Don needed a new UTV.  How else could he pick up the mail?  He found a place in a sketchy area of Jersey that sold used UTV’s.  Captain Don took me along to this place to check out their goods.  I think he was looking for some 74-year-old muscle to back him up in sketchy land (What was he thinking?).

The proprietor had many vehicles for sale and at a reasonable price.  Captain was not too quick to make a deal.  I think he was leery about trusting anyone with a neck tattoo that said “GO AHEAD MAKE MY DAY.”

Upon leaving said sketchy place Don was lamenting on the cost of a used UTV to replace his non-floating one.

I commented, “Too bad the submerged UTV was not covered by insurance.”

I actually heard a light bulb click-on above Don’s head, followed by a palm to forehead smack.

“You know I never thought about that.  That’s a good idea.  It should be insured under my homeowner’s policy!”

Insurance did indeed eventually cover a good portion of the cost on a replacement UTV. 

Now what makes this an interesting story to me is Don’s occupation.  The Captain is not a professional pilot.  He is not a real farmer. 

“Captain” Don owns and has run a very successful insurance company for almost 50 years.


I Can’t Sleep to That!


I Can’t Sleep to That!

I happen to be a late night person.  Always have been.  Getting up early has always been a chore.

“Why don’t you just go to sleep earlier?”

I am asked by early rising people.

They do not understand.  It is not something you just turn off and turn on.  Early rising people seem to act superior.  Like their way is the correct way. 

Early to bed, early to rise is great if you live on a farm, or before electricity, but otherwise…Listen, being a late night person is not a choice.  It is  something you are born with, it is just something you are.  You can fake being an early person, but you cannot really change.

I digress. 

I am an unapologetic late night person, and as a retired person it now works just fine for me.  It is especially fine in this world of 24/7 TV entertainment.  I no longer have to turn in after the “Tonight Show.” I can stay up forever if I want.

Fortunately for me, Mrs. C is also a late night person.  We stay up late watching TV while also reading and playing games on our PC’s.  Oh yeah, we can multi-task.

This arrangement works out fine except sometimes I am even more of a late night person than Mrs. C. 

Mrs. C does not mind if I still watch TV while she slips off to sleep, but she does object to the shows I watch. 

While she falls off to a situation comedy that I have seen several times over, I try and switch to a show she does not like.  This does not go over well.

When I hear that gentle Mrs. C sleep-breathing, I turn down the volume and bring up “Wicked Tuna” a show about tuna fishing out of Gloucester Mass.

“Why did you change the channel?”

“You were asleep!”

“I can’t sleep to that show.”

“You were asleep!”

“That show woke me up.”

“So I have to watch a show I don’t like while you are asleep?”


“So when can I watch ‘Wicked Tuna’?”

“When you are downstairs.”

“When I am downstairs I watch sports that you won’t watch. What if I just turn down the sound?”

“I’ll still know.”

“So I have to watch only shows that you can sleep to?”


I’d turn in before Mrs. C, except I couldn’t sleep to “Say Yes To The Dress.”

Mrs. C’s Shopping List Answers


Mrs. C’s Shopping List Answers

For all on edge to learn what Mrs. C had scrawled on her latest shopping list, here are the answers.  Many people tried to decipher her scratchings,          several did pretty well most no better than I.  Responses follow these answers and winners announced to pick up their




Cayenne Pepper

Apple Cider Vinegar

Olive Oil

Worchester Sauce


Corn Tortilla

Wet wipes

Mac and Cheese


Soft Butter

Nivea Shower Lotion

Joe’s Toilet paper

Shredded Mozzarella

(Scribble to check the pen) I assumed it was Scotch!


RIVER - Grapefruit; Cayenne Pepper; Apple Cider Vinegar; Olive Oil; Mayonnaise; Worcestershire Sauce; Wet Wipes; Tylenol; Can Tomatoes; Matches; Soft Butter and three unknowns.

VAL - Grapefruit, Canned Effer, Applecide Limb, Olive Oil, Worst Sauce, Mamo, Wet Wipes, Tylenol, Nivia Shine, Toesh, Corn Tumors, Mac and Cheese, Soft Butt, Sand Moz.

Sorry. I think I'm busy the night you're planning to invite me to dinner...

Bijou-  Grapefruit, cayenne pepper, apple cider vinegar, olive oil, Worcestershire sauce, mayonnaise, wet wipes, Tylenol, canned tomatoes, macaroni and cheese. Then I get lost: soft buns, shredded mozzarella, Nivia’s hand cream, Joe’s toilet paper?

Arkansas Patti   Oh God. Tylenol, mac & cheese, grapefruit, olive oil, and soft buns maybe?? Good luck joeh.

Dawn - Grapefruit, cyanne pepper, apple cider vinegar, olive, Worcestershire sauce, mayo, wet wipes, Tylenol, canned tomatoes, matches, soft bun


How’d I do?  Lol



Janet I can make out a few..Grapefruit, Cayenne pepper, olive oil, worchester sauce, Tylenol and Mac and cheese. 


Glenda T Goode 

Grape Fruit
Cayenne Pepper
Apple Crisps
Olive oil
Worchester sauce

Wet Wipes
t e s(alt)+p(epper)
Corn tortilla
Mac and cheese
Soft butter

So far, i have grapefruit, cayenne pepper, apple something or other, olive oil, worcestershire sauce, mayo, wet wipes, mac and cheese, soft butter, shredded mozzarella.

Yaya Not in any order...grapefruit, cayenne pepper, apple cider vinegar, olive oil, Worcestershire sauce, mayo, cantaloupes, wet wipes, Tylenol, mac 'n cheese, soft buns...thats all I've got!

grapefruit, ? , apple cider vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, mayonnaise.
wet wipes, Tylenol, Nivea ?, ? toilet paper.S
canned tomatoes, matches, 20 (?) freezer bags, and shampoo.

Brenda – Graprfruit, cayenne pepper, apple juice, olive oil worsh, Mayo? Wet whipped, Tylenol, Vaseline? Corn? Mac and Cheese, soft buns or butter, shredded mozzarella.



Tied for third place River, Yaya and Messimimi with 8 correct out of 14.  You get a tiny WHOOP-DE-DOO! Suitable for framing.

Runner up is Glenda T Goode with 10 1/2 out of 14.  You get a larger WHOOP-DE-DOO! also suitable for framing.

The winner is Bijou also with 10 ½ out of 14 but beating out Glenda as she was the only one to get “Joe’s Toilet Paper”.

Here it is Bijou a giant WHOOP-DE-DOO!! To be displayed if you wish on your blog.

Finally, a special mention to Val who once again provided the funniest answer.  You get a medium sized WHOOP-DE-DOO! Just small enough to hide under a kitchen towel.

Non- Blogger (Friends of Mrs C)

Dawn 7 of 14 is runner-up Whoop-De-Doo!

Brenda wins with 7 1/2 of 14 WHOOP-DE-DOO!!

Congratulations to all contestants and better luck next time.


Monday, March 22, 2021

Mrs. Cranky's Shopping List


                                             Mrs. Cranky's Shopping List

Back by popular demand is another 

                       Mrs. Cranky's shopping list contest.

Mrs. C writes in a strange combination of shorthand, doctor and hieroglyphics.

Occasionally she will send me shopping with such a list and expect me to collect all the items.  I always have to call her from the supermarket to inquire on an item, even though all her chicken-scratch was explained before sending me off.

I defy anyone to correctly identify all items.  No one has done so in the past, though a few women have come close.

The person who correctly identifies the most items will win a mention and a WHOOP-TE-DOO (suitable for framing) 

Hint...the scribble on the last line is just scribble.

Good luck!

Comments are delayed to prevent cheating.

Saturday, March 20, 2021

Stupid Headline Sunday 032121


Stupid Headline Sunday 032121

Not by popular demand, but nevertheless, back!


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.


Psaki uses “C” word to describe situation at the borderIs this is the same “C” word I know?

Millennials' assets exceed $10 trillionStill not enough to cover their college debt.

Nepal expecting hundreds of climbers despite pandemic  As long as they wear a mask and social distance Mount Everest is deemed to be safe.

‘Sister Wives’ star Kody Brown says his four wives passed him around ‘like a rag doll’ during the pandemic He really needs to learn to spousal distance.

Biden calls his second-in-command 'President Harris'Not yet Joe, you need to wait for the 25th amendment.

Stolen playground slide found mounted to child's bedroomThe teen thief used it to slide out of the house  whenever she was grounded.

Israeli experts discover new Dead Sea ScrollsAuthored by James Patterson and Moses.

Lost surfboard turns up 1,700 miles from homeWhy is it always the last place you’d look?

WH axes staffers over past pot useAnyone under 50 who has a life need not apply.

Scientists discover Antarctic marine life trapped under ice for half a century – After 50 years the creatures were tired as Hell and very cold but otherwise just fine.



Northwestern Scientists Repair and Reverse ALS Neuron Damage in Lab Using New Non-Toxic Compound-

Here is hoping that the ice water challenge thing was worth more than just a few good laughs!













Quarantine With Mrs. C

 Quarantine With Mrs. C

A re-run from this time last year...things have not changed much.

This social distancing thing is weird.  Walking to my mailbox, maybe a quarter mile, I saw no one, not one dog walker, not one car. It was a ghost complex.  I did see one “For Sale” sign.  It seems that is against HOA rules.  OMG, what a nightmare.

Except for last Friday the only person I have had any contact with is Mrs. C.  This is a test of our marriage.  My routine has been upset.  Mrs. C has not gone to work, and worse yet she has been cleaning out her office which is in the basement…my sanctuary!  Is nothing sacred?

My time has been compromised, and our togetherness has been shaky.

Apparently, I talk a lot.  Apparently, I have lots of opinions.  Apparently, I comment on TV shows a lot.  Apparently, I ask questions on TV shows because they whisper and I don’t always pay attention…a lot.

The result is I am told to “Shut up!” a lot.  When she is really annoyed, I even am told in Italian, “Stut a jeet!”  At least I am learning a new language.

I have noticed that Mrs. C gets a lot of phone calls, often from people who are not especially great friends, often very chatty not great friends. 

All I hear during these calls is Mrs. C with constant interjections of “um hum,” “really?”  “I know,” “I hate that” and “Oh WOW!”  There are a lot of “Oh WOW’s!”

After she finally hangs up I have to ask,

“What the hell, I know you weren’t interested in that call, why all the um hums and Oh WOWs’? I never get an um hum or an Oh WOW! I get shut up! or stut a jeet!

“I don’t want to be rude.”

“Well why can’t you be polite to me?”

“I don’t have to be polite to you, you’re my husband…now stut a jeet!”

I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not.