I Hate Halloween!
I do not like Halloween. First of all I don’t really get it. What are we celebrating? Zombies, Ghosts, Witches, Goblins…it seems creepy and anti-religious to me.
And what the heck is a goblin anyway?
Is this just a day to push the sales of candy which is probably not very good for anyone, especially children?
I hate this one night of not being able to enjoy my crappy reality TV because every three minutes a bunch of costumed rug rats ring the bell looking for stuff. And half of them don’t even yell “Trick or treet.”
I don’t give candy until I am threatened. No quid, no quo.
On the first Halloween that I was on my own and living in a large apartment complex, my doorbell rang an 10:30 in the morning. I answered to a group of fairies and witches hollering,
“Trick or Treat!”
“Trick or treat? What the heck it’s 10:30, I didn’t even get any candy yet!”
“We can’t go out later, the big kids will egg bomb us!”
This was not the Halloween of my youth.
The Halloween of my youth was a combination of fun, candy and fear.
The making of costumes was fun. Going from house to house with friends and no parents was fun. (Big brothers or sisters had to make the early rounds with the younger children). There was candy, tons of candy, and there was fear, fear of bullies taking your candy (never really happened) and fear of the few neighbors you did not know acting like…oh I don’t know, maybe a cranky old man.
I must admit, I did like Halloween as a youngster. But these days Halloween is not the Halloween I remember.
We made our own costumes; we did not buy them. A sheet with holes cut up for eyes made a ghost. Pop Warner helmets and uniforms for boys and ballerina outfits for girls were popular. Kids made robot costumes out of boxes, houses were turned inside out looking for any old funny stuff that could be used creatively.
My favorite costume was I stuffed a rubber mask with paper, slammed it on a coat hanger and wore is as a two-headed man.
We did not buy ready-made costumes at Wal-Mart.
Also, lately I see on Facebook people are celebrating Halloween before Halloween. What’s up with that? If Halloween falls on a weeknight it isn’t convenient? Waa! The weather report isn’t good? Waa!
And parents are everywhere…damn why won’t parents let their kids alone ever? Kids are never left alone, how do they get in trouble? Where do they sneak off to smoke a cigarette? When do they get to just have some unsupervised fun?
Actually, I do get it.
Communities today are not the same as when I was a rug rat. We used to know every neighbor. We knew who to avoid and who to go to twice for the extra good Hershey Bars. We went with friends and we saw no strangers in our neighborhood. We knew all the mom’s, because they did not leave every morning to go to work. If you did something stupid all the moms knew us and you would be reported.
I get it, people don’t have time for made up costumes. Everyone is working or in some organized activity.
I get it, “Trunk or Treat” brings people together is safe, fun and convenient.
I get it, things change, Halloween has changed.
I get it, I just don’t like it.
And when I holdout a bag of candy, why do I have to say “Just take one!”?
Greedy little humans.
I hate Halloween!