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Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Sometimes You Can Tell A Book By It’s Cover

Sometimes You Can Tell A Book By It’s Cover

We just finished watching the movie “Powder” for the third time.  It is a very good movie.  At the end I asked Mrs. C,

“Who wrote this, it seems sort of Stephen Kingish?”

I Googled it and up popped a picture of the writer. (see above)

“That can’t be the writer, he looks creepy in a child molester way.”

“I Agree.”

Turns out it was the writer and further research finds he was accused of molesting a 12-year-old in a previous movie production.

Now I admit that every creepy looking person is not a creep.  Every dangerous looking person is not a threat.  Every pleasant looking person is not nice and every trustworthy looking person is not trustworthy.


More often than not we can tell a book by it’s cover. 

Somewhere along life’s road we all meet people and recognize non-verbal indicators of character.   Dress, demeanor, facial expressions, body language, voice intonations, even odor, all things we subliminally learn that are indications of character.

Sometimes the cover is wrong. 

Often people learn to adapt to characteristics which will fool us.  The “nice” person is not always nice.  The “trustworthy” person is not always trustworthy.   Sometimes the “intelligent” person is dumb as a stump and sometimes the dope is smart as a whip.

More often than not, though, it seems to me you can tell a book by it’s cover, and sometimes you should think twice before pulling it off the shelf. 

I have also learned that women, perhaps because they are often more vulnerable, are especially adept at reading the cover.  When Mrs. Cranky feels an instinct kick in, I listen.

Years ago, I visited a doctor for a kidney stone issue.

“Gee he seems like a nice guy.”

“I think he is creepy.”

“Really?  I didn’t see it.”

“That’s because you’re a guy.”

On the second visit, I did pick up a creepy vibe and the third visit was to a different doctor in the same office.  When we requested the change, the receptionist gave Mrs. C a glance that I did not notice.

“See, I told you he was creepy.”


“Didn’t you see the receptionist's look?  You're not the first patient to ask for a different doctor.”

“I didn’t see it.”

“Of course, you didn’t.”

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Mrs. Cranky’s Grocery List Contest Winners

Mrs. Cranky’s Grocery List Contest Winners
I would like to thank all participants in trying to figure out Mrs. C’s writing/short hand.  Several people did very well, some not so well and others made me laugh, which is what making fun of my wife’s shopping lists is really all about.
After much grading I have come up with the winner for the most correct answers, the runner-up for most correct answers, the non-blogger winner for most correct, the funniest interpretations and the runner up for the funniest interpretations.
First the list
SIDE ONE: Oatmeal Airborn Creamer Kitchen eraser Cough stuff Tortillas Karen's toilet paper Mini sos Milk Lysol Soft Butter Cheese Yogurt  

SIDE TWO : Oatmeal cookies Little debbies with frosting inside Tortillas Card Gatorade Cheese Donuts Ice cream Cake mix 1/2 Gallon milk 

The winners:
Jimmy @  11 ½ correct…I think.
OK Joe here goes I am sure glad that I didn't have to carry these lists to the store with me, because I have a feeling that I would be making a return trip.

List Number 1 with 14 items:
1. has to be Oatmeal it was obvious...Right?
2. is anybody's guess, could be cleaner all I think that I can see is the first letter is a c and the last an r
3. is Cough Stuff, not sure what kind of stuff but that'd be the stuff I'd get.
4. is either Tomatillas, Tomatoes or Tostitos, I guess it all depends on if you are cooking or crunching but for kicks let's say Tomatillos.
5. Mini Lysol, I guess this comes in handy if you only have little germs to kill.
6. is SOS pads even though it was written in with the lysol I'm still saying you needed some SOS.
7. has to be Airborne, with all the sniffling going on and vitamin c needed I'd grab this one.
8. Ketchup because everybody needs ketchup or Kitchchup, or something else all together.
9. EMask, Emolr...hell I don't know I'd just have to grab something that started with an E, you know this is when you Punt.
10. is one or the other K's Toothpaste or Toilet paper depending on which end needs attention.
11. is clearly Milk, after reading everything else that was as clear as milk this one has to be Milk.
12. is either Stick Butter, a guitar, or...I'm sticking with butter.
13. is Cheese.
14. is Yogurt.

List number 2 with 10 items was just as easy as the first one:
1. has to be Oatmeal Cookies, simply because I can recognize Oatmeal cookies anywhere.
2. is random letters written in another language, I believe she added this one to test you. 7in tudes with frustm'dj...could be cookies with frosting but most likely not, I'd grab cookies hell why not.
3. is another batch of the Tostitos, tomatoes, tomatillos I'm staying in the tomato family.
4. is cheese.
5. is possibly Daiquiri Mix, or sauce mix, or even chex mix, unless it's a dance mix you are required to do while shopping with this list.
6. is Gatorade because you are really going to need it after doing that dance mix.
7. is the name of the artist that was formerly know as, maybe you were supposed to grab some of his tunes for your dance mix.
8. is a half gallon of milk.
9. is candy.
10 is donuts.
YAYA @  – 10 correct
 tomatoes, cheese,donuts,milk(1/2 gal), yogurt, ketchup, cough stuff, airborne, t-bone steak, Gatorade, cake mix, kitchen eraser, oatmeal cookies, icecream...that's my best guess! 
I say both are welcome to a large WHOOP-TE-DOO!!
Funniest Interpretation
Close, but Xavier @  nudged out pre-contest favorite Val. His "Tinnitus with frosted mud" gives him a close victory:
Jay (does this mean she’s cheating on you? Sorry man)
Crullers (Your heart man, think of your heart!)
Cough stuff (Not sure why she wants to cough, but OK)
Mini (Cooper Mini may be cute, but hardly practical)
Vivisection? Seems harsh …. 
Air Brush (She knows that only works on pictures, right?)
Kitchen (she can dream …)
Eraser (I’m getting worried for your safety, man)
Salted butter
Oatmeal cookies
Tinnitus with frosted mud
Cheese (more? Really? You sure Queenie didn’t write this?)
Cake mix
½ Gal Milk (sensing some forgetfulness here)
Candied Donuts (do they REALLY need more sweet?)
Dang it! I got 23 items! Time to review. Maybe if I squint and turn my head sideways…Nope. Didn’t help. TOO EASY? I don’t think so!

Carball stuff
Airborne kitchen eraser
K’s TP
Sit bone 

Ammonia louigles
Turtles with frosting DQ
Dance mix
½ inch 
Both contestants deserve a large WHOOP-TE-DOO!!
For getting Tortillas instead of Tomato and Old man tongue
For also getting Tortillas
You both get a lower-case whoop-te-doo
Non-blog winners was a tie with Brenda and Dawn 9 each…wow, just wow!
WHOOP-TE-DOO’s to you!
Thank you for participating and please visit and congratulate our winners.

Monday, January 29, 2018


I admit to having an unfair bias toward the entertainment industry.  It bothers me that many people in this industry are given credit for their intelligence and empathy to an extent that their opinions seem to be held in higher esteem than that of “ordinary” citizens.
I think Cher is a very talented lady and I love her style and voice.  I’m sure she is intelligent, I suspect you need to be strong and intelligent to succeed in such a tough industry where there are so many talented people.  Still, I really don’t understand why her opinions are news.
Robert De Niro is a terrific actor with the depth to take a gangster, or a comedic role.  He is of course entitled to his opinions, but why are his opinions news?
I love Meryl Streep, perhaps the most talented actress of our or any other time.  She must also be very intelligent.  She is entitled to her opinions, but once again, why are her opinions news?
Why are entertainers held in such elevated regard?
Why do people complain that an NFL quarterback or MLB centerfielder gets paid millions when teachers get paid so little? 
“They are paid a fortune for playing a game and teachers are molding young lives!”
Fair enough, there are many occupations that may be socially more valuable than others that are rewarded less based on many economic and social factors.  It is an issue which I suppose communism attempted to solve with not such great results.  (I’m pretty sure Russian athletes were rewarded more than Russian teachers.)
But, if this social issue bothers people so much, why do I never hear complaints that Tom Cruise makes 15 million dollars per picture for pretty much just being ruggedly handsome in shoes with lifts?
Hmmm…I may have just slipped off the track, but so what, it’s my blog.
So, while I am miffed with all the adoration that is heaped on entertainers and the weight that is given to their opinions, it is not their fault, it is our fault for giving a damn about what these people think.  They live in a fantasy land.
Well, that feels better, I just had a rant building up and it needed release. 
Now after beating on these talented people who give themselves rewards almost every week, let me address those that started me on this rant. I would like to give praise to a group of entertainers who we see every day and yet are virtual unknowns.  I suspect they are rewarded financially, but they get no statues. 
Actors in commercials.*  
Not the famous ones we will probably see in this year’s Super Bowl, people that steal jobs from lesser actors because we will buy beer just because someone famous tells us to buy that beer…arghh…I still have more rant left.
Anyway, here is a shout out to the Progressive Insurance actress Flo, and AT+T’s Lily, and the Geico “Mayhem” dude.  These and many others are great character actors that deserve awards. 

Mayhem Dude 
And I wish to nominate my favorite commercial actor of the year, the Washington crossing the Delaware Turnpike dude.  I laugh every time I see his fantastic reading of the line,
“We’ve all got places to go!  We’ve all got places to go!”

As we approach the greatest day of the year for commercials, Super Bowl Sunday, what are your nominations for best performances in a commercial?
*This is the subject I intended to address before I slipped into a rant, it is all part of my ADD.
TOMORROW (drum roll) Winners of Mrs. Cranky grocery list contest!

Sunday, January 28, 2018

What I’m Gonna Do

What I’m Gonna Do
I was gonna write a new post but decided on this re-run from January 2013

Here is a nice thing about getting old; there are so many less things for me to be jealous about. 

When I was younger I used to admire other peoples large beautiful homes.  Now I think how glad I am to not have to heat that mother, clean that bugger, and maintain that monstrous yard.

There was a time when I wished I had that big yacht to go cruising or fishing whenever I wanted.  Now I wince just thinking of the time and effort it takes to keep a boat running and seaworthy. 

I once wanted to learn to fly and own a plane.  Now I think, “What a lot of work.”

Back in the days when I desired stuff…stuff I could never afford, I had to settle for what I was “Gonna do.”

When anyone visited my house I would tell them what I was “gonna do.”  

“Oh yes, the house is small, but I'm gonna blow out the kitchen to add an eat-in area, and put in all new restaurant quality appliances.  The master bed room is gonna look great when we add the walk-in closet which will set over the new recreation room we are gonna add off the dining room.  The grass in the back looks awful, but you will not even notice it after we put in the pool and patio.  As soon as we get the time we are gonna do all that and more.”

People were never impressed with my house, but they thought the stuff we were “gonna do” was terrific.

There was a time when I was gonna own a house at the shore, on the bay side, with a dock and a 32 footer (those really big boats were too much trouble.)

I was gonna have a plane so I could play a different golf course every weekend…when I had the time.  Oh yea, I was gonna start playing golf again and get my game down to a 10 handicap.

I was gonna do all these things as soon as I had the time (and the money.) It seems I never had the time (or the money.)  Now that I am retired and have the time, I just do not have the desire or the inclination (or the money) for any of those things.

Mrs. C and I are perfectly happy with our two bedroom town house.  Yard maintenance is done for us.  When it snows, the walks and the driveway are shoveled by elves.  We have a community pool which we seldom use, and tennis courts which we never us.  The town house is just the right size; were not gonna do anything to it.

We enjoy our little vacation trips, going out to dinner and watching TV.  Then there are grandchildren.  I have five.  I am very proud of them all.  Tommy is gonna be a lawyer, Halley is gonna be a ballet dancer unless she becomes a Senator, Graham is gonna be a doctor, Cole is gonna be a major league baseball player and Connor is gonna be an architect.

Gonna be pretty impressive don’t cha think?

Saturday, January 27, 2018


It’s time again for
Outer Space to be specific...that would be my guess
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Doughnut-eating contest winner arrested after doughnut shop robbery – This guy really likes his doughnuts!
Malia Obama spotted with new boyfriend, former 'head boy' of posh British prep school – I’m going to assume that title is a good thing in the UK, but he might want to keep it on the QT in the US.
Blind Long Snapper Jake Olson Tweets Video, Enters Name into USC QB Competition – This guy is amazing, but as QB it would be extra difficult protecting his blind side.
 Minnesota Viking’s Adam Thielen's Back Injury Diagnosed as Fractures; He Was in 'Incredible Pain' – This is another reason I couldn’t play in the NFL, I used to call in sick with a head cold!
Hawaii Gov. David Ige said he and his team took so long to post a message to social media about the recent missile alert being a false alarm because he didn't know his Twitter username and password.Serious stuff, yet relatable and pretty funny.
ShotSpotter technology makes dent in Chicago's crime - but raises privacy concerns – This is awful! You should be entitled to fire a gun in a heavily populated city in complete privacy.
Readington Loses Engineer – They need to ask, “Where was the last place we had our engineer?”
New Jersey couple gets married in women's bathroom at courthouse – And people don’t think of New Jersey as a romantic place!
'El Chapo' promises not to kill any jurors – As comforting as that assurance is, I’d still be very ill on jury selection day.
New York City bar bans customers who use the word 'literally' – So, basically if you actually use the word literally you will literally be thrown out.

Eating some sandwiches causes global warming, scientists say – Scientists also point out people exhaling Co2 is warming the planet and they should breath less.

NYPD officers help wheelchair-bound veteran, 85, left shivering in front of steps – Cops are tops, help Pops!
Come back again next week for more

Friday, January 26, 2018

Tax Bill

Tax Bill
A cranky opinion for
The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little expertise in the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome, but wrong, and please no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid-head.
OK, I am going to break my rule and post something political in nature. 
Congress just passed bill changing our current tax code.  I have not read all the new rules.  I probably wouldn’t understand much of the changes.
I find the discussions relating to the bill to be interesting.
The legislation passed as most things pass in Washington these days with Republicans all voting for and Democrats all voting against.  I don’t think Democrats attempted to insert any ideas into the legislation, I don’t think Republicans wanted their input. 
Before legislation passed, I heard many horror stories that would result from this bill.  Some changes would have negatively affected my bottom line.  I believe those concerns were ironed out during debate.   That is how the process tends to work.
Before the vote, Democrats claimed the changes will cost the middle class and the poor money while the wealthy will get wealthier.  I don’t know, maybe, taxes are incredibly complicated and it is a moving target to make them the most productive for the most people.  Democrats further insist the changes will increase the national debt.
Republicans insist the changes will put more money in the pockets of almost everyone, and will be a stimulus to pump up the economy creating jobs and reducing the debt.  It has worked like that in the past, it is not an automatic formula.
I believe the intent of the new regulations is to do just what the Republicans claim the bill will do.  If the bill hurts the middle class and the poor and is a boon to only the wealthy, then the Republicans will be buried in next years elections and the legislation will soon be reversed.
Democrats are pushing that possibility with current rhetoric that will give them an “I told you so” platform come November.  The Democrats as is the nature of politics are rooting for economic failure, just as in the past Republicans have rooted for Democrat policies to not work. 
This is why people hate politics.   It should not be a game.  I would love to hear at least one Democrat say, “I am afraid this bill is going to be a bad thing for the country, but I certainly hope I am wrong and we will all prosper.”  That is no more likely to happen than for a Republican to have said about Obama Care, “I voted against it, but I sincerely hope I was wrong and it will be a great program.”
Damn I hate politics.
All right, here is my position on the Tax Bill.
Let’s see.  Let’s just wait and see.
I hope it boosts the economy, brings more good jobs back, puts more money in everyone’s pocket and we have a long prosperous future.  If it does not do what Republicans hope it will do, then the Democrats will have the power to kill the changes and go back to the tax system we have had for many years, or even put forth new ideas to make the economy better for everyone.
Anyway, that is my position on the new Tax Bill, I hope it works.  I hope it brings great prosperity and benefits everyone.  That is the intent of the Bill.  If you want to have the Democratic party control congress more than you want a prosperous country than hope for the bill to be a failure, but everyone should stop flapping their gums over what will happen. 
It is done.
I for one hope it works. *
The preceding was the opinion of a cranky ole man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.
*If you care to explain why this bill is a bad thing be my guest, my comment back is, “We will soon see, you may be right, I hope you are wrong.”

Thursday, January 25, 2018

A Serious Face

A Serious Face
Do you have a serious face?

I just realized that I do not have a serious face.  I try, but I can not pull it off.  It has affected my life in many ways.  At work, if I had a good idea it was not given full attention because it was not delivered with a serious face.  I was not very good at disciplining my children because I did not have a serious face. 
Serious office worker
Serious Parents
I don’t even know how to fake a serious face.  When I try and get serious, something almost always cracks me up and I have to hide a smile.  Hiding a smile ruins any attempt at a serious face.
I could be an expert on negotiating and on International relationships, but I could not sit down with a Kim Jon Un…one look at that haircut and I would lose my serious face.  His fat body would make me laugh, I would lead us right into war because I do not have a serious face.
I like politics, but I don’t have a serious face. 
Very important for a politician to have a serious face
How could you get people to vote for you if you don’t look serious?  I could not be a doctor; how do you give a patient bad news if you do not have a serious face?  Hell, even comedians use a serious face to set up most of their jokes.
Even comedians need to be serious sometimes
When I was called on in school for an answer, I often chose a goofy reply instead of the correct answer because, hell I don’t know, I just have a hard time being serious.
Have you ever watched a skilled musician?  Even thought they are enjoying what they do, they still have a serious face. 
Serious musician
I have not been particularly successful in any facet of life, work, relationships, whatever.  It may be for a lack of any skill, or intelligence, or work ethic.  I think it is the result of only one thing, I may be cranky but...
I don’t have a serious face.
No...Seriously, I don't!

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Ain’t Technology Grand!

Ain’t Technology Grand!
I am not a complete fuddy-duddy about technology.  I love computers, I love the internet, I love GPS, I even like Facebook.  Cable TV is spectacular, automatic stuff on cars and ABS brakes…GREAT.  However, everything technological is not a plus.
With our recent HVAC upgrade, we got a new high-tech thermostat.  This baby hooks up to the internet and you can adjust it where ever you are from your phone.  You can set it to adjust to different temperatures in four different time periods.  It will be 70 in the evening, drop to 60 at night while you sleep, come up to 70 in the morning, then drop to 60 while you are at work, and come back to 70 by the time you come home from work.  Terrific stuff.
We don’t leave the house at any specific times during the day.  We don’t have any specific night time, or time we get up in the morning.  We are not on any schedule and do not want our home temperature on a schedule. 
The installer asked how we wanted the thermostat set and I told him I just wanted to manually change the temperature from time to time and did not need to do it by phone.
I am sure there is an argument to be made for saving money with varying settings.  I don’t want to do that.  I think you use lots of energy getting the temperature up from 60 two times a day and it is just as efficient to leave it at one preferred temperature.  Don’t waste your breath telling me otherwise, I don’t care. I am old and stubborn and can afford the extra $14.78 a month I might be wasting with my prehistoric thinking.
So, the technician left with the thermostat set to 70. 
Around 5 am in the morning Mrs. C woke me.
“Why is it so cold.”
“Shouldn’t be, the thermostat is set to 70.”
“Check it.”
It was at 60 degrees.
After some research it was determined that the thermostat was factory set for four different times and even has different settings on the weekend.
“Crap, I only wanted it like the old one, I told them I didn’t need any program functions.”
The directions they left us were only for setting up internet phone access.  Apparently, it is easy to adjust with the phone once you set up that function. I did not want that function, but the directions did not explain how to turn off the program at the thermostat it only explained how to use the phone setup.
I found instructions on the internet, but only for a similar model.  They almost worked except when we had to push the “set” button which did not exist on our model.
Between the two of us and much cursing and button pushing we managed to disable the program settings and it is now firmly fixed to manual. 
If we had to do that again, neither of us knows what the heck we did, so we will be calling the HVAC company for detailed instructions.
Anyone remember when things were simple?