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Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Dinner at IHOP
Mrs. C has forever been trying to get me to eat at IHOP (Formerly knows as International House of Pancakes). I have sworn that I would not eat at a pancake house.
Why she has been intent on me joining her to this restaurant is beyond me. Twice I have almost gone for breakfast, but the parking lot was full and people were waiting outside…no thanks.
“We should go for a dinner.”
“Why, who wants pancakes for dinner?”
“They don’t just have pancakes, they have sandwiches, burgers, fries and other stuff.”
“You mean like a diner?”
“Yeah, and you like diners.”
“Yes, I do, so why not go to a diner instead of a pancake house that is like a diner.”
“You’re a jerk!”
Now while that may be true, keep in mind that New Jersey is famous for three things; miles of seashore, gangsters, and diners. No state has more great diners than New Jersey. Why would I eat at a pancake house that is like a diner when our state is famous for diners? I might as well go to Pizza Hut for crappy fake cardboard pizza, instead of Vinny’s genuine fantastic pizza.
Well we went to a movie the other day, and afterwards I agreed to try IHOP as it was right across the street. It was worth it, not for the food which was ok, but for the conversation. Not conversation with Mrs. C which was ok, but for the conversation of the couple in the next booth.
There was a lady who was somewhere between 30 and 75…hard to tell, and with a look that suggested she had more cats than the health code might allow. I will only give you a gist of the conversation which was impossible to not hear.
“Know why I wore this coat and not my other raincoat? I have two coats you know”
It took about five minutes of this questioning before finally getting to the answer.
“The other coat is dry clean only. Why dry clean only? Won’t it get wet in the rain?”
For the next ten minutes all we heard was a repeat of the rain question in different forms. I heard the term “dry clean only” about a thousand times.
“Why dry clean only? Won’t it get wet in the rain? Dry clean only, I don’t understand. If it gets dirty I don’t want to have to have it dry cleaned, but it is dry clean only.”
I can’t repeat the whole conversation, but you get the picture. We both tried to edit out her voice, which was, by the way, an annoying nasal combination of Jersey and Boston with more than a pinch of stupid.
At some point we no longer heard “dry clean only” but our ears perked up at this gem,
“I think I need a shower, I haven’t had one since Atlantic City, just after the snow storm.”
The snow storm was eight days ago.
To which Mrs. C and I both whispered at the same time,
“Maybe she is ‘dry clean only!’”
IHOP; the food at a Jersey diner is better, but you cannot top the entertainment.