THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Sunday, January 14, 2018
STUPID HEADLINES 011418
Maybe they should try shark repellent.
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider,
sometimes sophomoric comments.
Chef at Mario Batali's Babbo
restaurant steps down amid allegations of sexual misconduct, 'lewdly' stroking
meats– Ooooh! I was afraid to even read this story.
Woman rejects claim she did $300,000
in damage to prominent lawyer's Andy Warhol artwork on first date – Most women I know have a hard-fast
rule to never destroy priceless artwork on the first date.
Alabama man accused of sexually
molesting horse – And
I thought that nothing could be weirder than ‘lewdly’ stroking meats.
Memphis pastor gets standing ovation
after acknowledging 'sexual incident' with teen – This is some strange congregation,I wonder if
they would applaud the lewd meat stroking chef?
Turkish religious body slammed for
suggesting children as young as 9 could marry – This just in, Roy Moore is moving
from Alabama to Turkey.
Richie Incognito accused of using
'weak racist slurs' during Jacksonville game – If he used ‘strong racist slurs’ in a
league with many very large powerful African Americans, he better be an incognito
Spirit Airlines passenger pees all
over plane's bathroom, gets himself arrested – Drink spirits, board Spirit, pee on
Spirit plane, get spirited away!And
you’ll never guess where this dude is from. (Florida)
Woman, 39, pleads guilty to filming
self in sex acts with pet dog, whipped cream – This is truly disgusting!What was she thinking; using whipped cream?
Or was the dog's name Whipped Cream? Still disgusting.
Butcher locked in freezer bashes out
with help from a blood sausage – I don’t even want to know what the hell that is, but I have a
rule to never eat anything that can break a lock.
Bride posts ad for wedding dress
‘worn once by mistake’ – I am saying “I don’t think so to the dress!”
Texas Tech student questioned by TSA
for brandishing school's 'finger gun' salute – In defense of the TSA, she did go
FEEL-GOOD STORU OF THE
Police rescue baby seal waddling down
a Massachusetts highway – Is there anything cuter than a baby seal?