STUPID HEADLINES 011418
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| Maybe they should try shark repellent. |
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider,
sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Chef at Mario Batali's Babbo
restaurant steps down amid allegations of sexual misconduct, 'lewdly' stroking
meats – Ooooh! I was afraid to even read this story.
Woman rejects claim she did $300,000
in damage to prominent lawyer's Andy Warhol artwork on first date – Most women I know have a hard-fast
rule to never destroy priceless artwork on the first date.
Alabama man accused of sexually
molesting horse – And
I thought that nothing could be weirder than ‘lewdly’ stroking meats.
Memphis pastor gets standing ovation
after acknowledging 'sexual incident' with teen – This is some strange congregation, I wonder if
they would applaud the lewd meat stroking chef?
Turkish religious body slammed for
suggesting children as young as 9 could marry – This just in, Roy Moore is moving
from Alabama to Turkey.
Richie Incognito accused of using
'weak racist slurs' during Jacksonville game – If he used ‘strong racist slurs’ in a
league with many very large powerful African Americans, he better be an incognito
Incognito.
Spirit Airlines passenger pees all
over plane's bathroom, gets himself arrested – Drink spirits, board Spirit, pee on
Spirit plane, get spirited away! And
you’ll never guess where this dude is from. (Florida)
Woman, 39, pleads guilty to filming
self in sex acts with pet dog, whipped cream – This is truly disgusting! What was she thinking; using whipped cream?
Or was the dog's name Whipped Cream? Still disgusting.
Butcher locked in freezer bashes out
with help from a blood sausage – I don’t even want to know what the hell that is, but I have a
rule to never eat anything that can break a lock.
Bride posts ad for wedding dress
‘worn once by mistake’ – I am saying “I don’t think so to the dress!”
Texas Tech student questioned by TSA
for brandishing school's 'finger gun' salute – In defense of the TSA, she did go
“Ca-pow, Ca-pow!”
FEEL-GOOD STORU OF THE
WEEK
Police rescue baby seal waddling down
a Massachusetts highway – Is there anything cuter than a baby seal?
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Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
Good ones this morning, Joe!
ReplyDeleteThere are some sick folks out there and you've got most of them mentioned in this post.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
"Texas Tech student questioned by TSA for brandishing school's 'finger gun' salute – In defense of the TSA, she did go “Ca-pow, Ca-pow!”" Two Ca-pow's?...probably a semi-automatic finger she had. GUNS UP TECH!
ReplyDeleteBaby hedgehog is cuter and doesn’t have fish breath
ReplyDeleteToo much lewd meat stroking going on...Seriously reconsidering moving to Florida after the last several weeks headlines.
ReplyDeleteCrazy stuff, and i do hope the seal found its family.
ReplyDeleteLoved this (as usual)!!
ReplyDeleteAnything cuter than a baby seal? Come on, I bet you were cute when you were a baby!
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! Love the “I don’t think so to the dress!”
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking the Alabama horse-lover must have recently relocated from Florida. And I wonder why Mario's chef was in trouble for "lewdly stroking meats," yet the frozen butcher seems like he's being applauded for pounding a sausage until release.
Whoa...I think I am on the wrong planet. What is up with these crazy people lately? End times maybe???
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss the story about the dude on Spirit Airlines?
ReplyDeleteI've had blood sausage (it's quite common in Germany), and the only way the butcher could use it to break out of the freezer is if it was frozen. Otherwise, that sausage is just sorta soft (like it needed Viagra).