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Saturday, June 16, 2018

Its Just not That Much Fun Anymore

Its Just not That Much Fun Anymore

A cranky opinion for



I really enjoy this blogging thing.  You are able to exchange ideas, try your hand at creative writing and meet new people. 

For me, in the beginning it was easy.  New people were joining the community every day.  There were blog-hops to meet and be met.  Commenters were nice and respectful.  I followed and was followed by bloggers from places I knew very little about, bloggers with diverse ideas and with unique viewpoints.  There were bloggers who were very old, bloggers who were very young, bloggers of means and bloggers who had little.

There were also bloggers who only followed as a means to get more followers for themselves, and bloggers who thought they could make money from blogging.  Perhaps that worked for some, I doubt for very many as I seldom see these people anymore.

It seems to me that this blogging thing has lost its luster.  Fewer people seem to be joining, many seem to be dropping out.  Posting regularly is not easy.  Those first bunch of posts might be, but as the years go by you run out of interesting things to say.

With the current animosity in American politics, it also seems necessary to take sides whether you want to or not.  Post about almost any innocent thing and you are liable to get snarky political jabs inserted into some comments.

I have had people stop following because they don’t like my perceived positions, and I have unfollowed some very nice people because they continually pluck nerves that I prefer to have the media pluck or not pluck.  I’d like my casual reading be casual reading.  I like discussing some topics, but this blogging venue is not really well designed for conversations; it mostly works for those who wish to sing with the choir.

Anyway, for whatever reason, this blogging thing is not that much fun anymore.  That and I've pretty much run out of material.

Time for a sabbatical.  I reserve the right to post something if I damn well feel like it, but probably will slowly drift away.

I might be lurking…probably not.

I don’t expect to make a comeback; you won’t have Cranky to kick around anymore.
Keypad drop!


Thursday, June 14, 2018

Shopping With Mrs. C

Shopping With Mrs. C

I own four suits, two sports jackets, three casual slacks, two nice slacks, a bunch of shorts, a couple of bum-around pants, eight dress shirts and a bunch of casual shirts. 

I wear a suit maybe twice a year, nice slacks once or twice, dress shirts three or four times maybe.

I wear shorts, or bum-around pants almost always with a tee shirt or golf shirt.  I should not need to clothes shop ever again.  I have clothes I will probably never wear, but I have them “just in case.”

I do wear a pair of casual pants as often as once a week.  I wear them when we go out to eat at a restaurant fancier than “Red Lobster.”  Of the three pair, one doesn’t fit correctly, and the other two I can never find.  They are usually somewhere in the guest closet mashed in-between the suits I never wear. 

A typical night before going out to dinner goes like this,

“Gad Damn it, where are my nice casual pants?”

“In the guest closet.”

“I can’t find them, all I find are the pants that fit funny and I am not wearing them…ever!”

“Oh for crap sake, I’ll get them…here, right on the bed, not put away from after our vacation.”

“Damn it, I need several more pair, just so I can find the dang things the few times I need them!”

The other night we went to Kohls to shop for two pair of casual slacks.

We weren’t sure of the length I take so Mrs. C picked out slacks in 30 and 32 length.  She picked out four styles so that was eight pair.

“Go try them on.”

I went to the try-on area and every door was closed.

“For crap sake, all the changing rooms are closed, I know they are not all used, why don’t people leave the door open when they are done?”

“Just look for one with no feet.”

“I’m not crawling around looking for feet!  Why do people close the doors?  It’s like at a party I stand outside a bathroom door for 15 minutes because the last idiot who used the toilet left and closed the door!”

“Here, this one is open.”

That changing room was a mess.  The cardboard and tissue innards of several shirts were all over the floor and several un-purchased shirts just hung up and left.

I'm shopping with pigs.

I determined I was a 30 length and modeled a pair for Mrs. C.

“The right length is 30, let’s just get a pair of the tan and a pair of the black.”

“Let me see the 32 length.”

“They’re too long.”

“Just put them on, and let me see the other styles also.”

“I’m not trying on another 8 pair!  These two are fine.”

“Just let me see them and I also found a few that are similar but cheaper.”

The problem is, women love shopping for clothes.  Men have a limit of maybe 6 minutes and I had gone five minutes over my limit.

“Just try them on.”

“You know how you get when I suggest throwing anything away?  That’s how I am right now, I’m done lets just buy these two and get out of this place, it is giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

“You’re a big baby…and a jerk”

“Guilty, now let’s get outta here!”

The black pair fit funny, they pull up in my butt cheeks a bit…I will probably never wear them…I will also never tell Mrs. C.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

What a Deal

What a Deal

I am always looking for a good deal.  I am about to purchase a new 12 string guitar…Happy Birthday to me.

The guitar I want is not cheap.  It would be nice to find a bargain.  I got very excited when I received this email form the friendly neighborhood guitar store:

Hi Joe,

Just a reminder—there are still a few days left to use your coupon for 16% off a single, non-sale item. Visit your local 
Guitar or give us a call at 732-257-8500 and we'll be glad to help you get the gear you need at a great price.

Michael Depko
Guitar Center East Brunswick

16% on the guitar I am looking at would result in significant savings.

It seems there are a few exclusions:

Exclusions and limitations: $500 maximum discount. Not to be used in conjunction with other coupons, promotions or offers. No cash value. Excludes discounted and clearance items, price matches, used/vintage, tax/shipping charges, scratch and dent, Gift Cards, String/Stick Club and musician services (Pro Coverage, Repairs, Rentals and Lessons).

Products from the following manufacturers are excluded: A Designs, ADAM, Aguilar, Allen & Heath, Alvarez, Ampeg, Antelope Audio, Apogee, Apple, Arturia, Ashdown, Ashly Audio, Avantone, Avid, BAE, Beetronics FX, Blackstar, Bose, Boss, Burl Audio, Catalinbread, Chapman, Crate, Cusack Music, D.W. Fearn, Dangerous Music, Dave Smith Instruments, Dean Markley, Earthquaker Devices, Earthworks, Electro-Harmonix, Elysia, Empress Effects, Epiphone, Ernie Ball Music Man, EVH, Fender, Fender Custom Shop, Focal, Focusrite, Fostex, Friedman, Fulltone, Fulltone Custom Shop, Gallien-Krueger, Gibson, Gibson Custom, Golden Age Project, GoPro, Heritage Audio, ISP Technologies, JHS Pedals, Keeley, Kemper, Korg, Kurzweil, Kush Audio, LaChapell Audio, Lag Guitars, Lewitt Audio Microphones, Lindell Audio, Mackie, Manley, Meinl, Metric Halo, Millennia, Mojave Audio, Moog, MOTU, Native Instruments, Neumann, Nord, Novation, Orange Amplifiers, Pettyjohn Electronics, Phoenix Audio, Radial Engineering, Randall, Rane, Reloop, Reverend, RME, Rockett Pedals, Roland, Royer, Ruach Music, se Electronics, Serato, Shure, Slate Digital, Slate Pro Audio, Slate Media Technology, Softube, Soundbrenner, Squier, Steven Slate Drums, Studiologic, Suzuki, Taylor, Teenage Engineering, Telefunken, Teletronix, Toft Audio Designs, Tube-Tech, Voodoo Lab, Vox, Walrus Audio, Wampler, Warm Audio, Westone, Xotic Effects, Yamaha, ZT.

The guitar I want is a Taylor.


Monday, June 11, 2018


This re-run is from July 2011, it is also from my little read or seldom purchased second book, (possibly little read and seldom purchased because of my first book) "I Used To Be Stupid." I thought it might be appropriate following my recent "Saturday Opinion" post.

I received a comment from a lovely lady from Utah asking me to eliminate the bad words in my blog as her children also read blogs she follows.  My sister-in-law editor once questioned my language and I responded with the following on "CUSSIN" which is part of the yet unpublished "I Used To Be Stupid."  I do try and use my cursing for comic value and doubt I can change.  Perhaps The Cranky Old Man should be off base to children.  I don't think words are evil, the intent of words is what can be hurtful.

When did cursing become an acceptable part of our culture?  I remember the movie “Saving Private Ryan”.  Reviewers credited the film with its abundant use of “bad words” as finally accurately depicting a war scenario.  Seemingly the stress of a brutal war such as WWII would have brought out uncensored language from hungry, sleep deprived, un-showered men, pained from seeing their friends and comrades being shot or blown up, but was this depiction really accurate?
The WWII generation I knew never cursed.  They did not even call it cursing; bad words were “cussin”.  Even the word curse was a curse.

Growing up, I never once heard my father, any of my uncles, or my grandfather use a “bad word”.  I never heard a neighbor or teacher use a “bad word”.

My Mom did have a potty mouth.  Faced with a minor inconvenience such as a dropped egg she would sometimes exclaim “Hell’s Bells”.  We would not even flinch.  Something major like a burnt and ruined pot roast would elicit a “Dammit to Hell!”  The entire Hagy clan would become scarce over this outburst until we heard the downgraded “Hell’s Bells” when we knew the coast was clear.  Other than those rare outbursts I never heard a “cuss” while growing up.  

The Lord’s name was never taken in vain.  Damn, Dammit, or God Dammit were substituted with Darn, Dang it, Gosh Darn, Gol Darn it, or Dad Burn it.  “Jesus Christ”, was “Cheese and Rice”.

All “cussin” was watered down.  Shit! Was Shoot! Phooey replaced Fuck and Shucks was a combo.  Crap became Crud, Piss was Pee and you stepped in dog doo, doody, poop, or poo.  People who you did not like were not assholes, they were horse’s asses, or the even more watered down horse’s patoots.  My Dad would never directly call anyone an ass; he would just comment,

“You know there are more horse’s asses in this world than there are horses”. 

Apparently sailors regularly used “bad” words as I always heard the expression “He curses like a sailor”.  I never heard a sailor curse, but I’m guessing they did.  I’m not as sure about the soldiers as depicted in today’s movies.  

I think the non use of these words was firmly ingrained in this generation and they were avoided by most, even under the greatest stress imaginable.  Before this generation would holler “Die you mother fucking German asshole”, they would remember that bar of soap Grandma made them eat when caught saying “Damn you!” and they would revert to, “Phooey on you, you flipping Kraut!” 

WWII graffiti would confirm the above assertion.  I’ve never seen pictures of war torn walls with “Fuck you Hitler” or “Mussolini sucks cock” written on them, only the scrawling's of a man peering over a wall with the caption “Kilroy was here”.  Pretty nasty stuff don’t cha think?   

My high school football coach, Gary Kehler, never cursed.  The worst word he ever used was “piddle”.  “Hagy that block was piddle”.  I never really knew what piddle meant, but when I heard it in conjunction with my name I just nodded my head and ran a lap.  He might have once hollered “Dag Blast It”, but that was leveled at our fullback Leroy Gallman, so I ignored it.

Piddle means CRAP you dumb bunny.  Now take a lap!

You got it coach.

I believe it was comedians who first pushed the envelope with words.  Curse words added punctuation to a story and the shock factor made people laugh.  Lenny Bruce was the first to openly use curse words, and he was publicly ostracized and jailed for his use of unacceptable language.  Privately his humor was legendary.

George Carlin’s brilliant routine on the seven words you can’t say on television finally opened the floodgates on profanity.  A master wordsmith, Carlin brilliantly exposed the hypocrisy of the banning of “shit, piss, fuck, cunt, mother-fucker, cock-sucker, and tit”.  His logical dissertations on the use of words were genius.  

“You can prick your finger…... but you can’t finger your prick!!"

Once acceptable as humor, profanity seeped into books, movies and cable TV.  So common did this speech become in the media, it worked its way into our everyday lexicon. Previously limited to back alleys, seedy bars, or stag parties, profanity is now common on crowded streets, public transportation and cocktail parties.  Once never uttered in the presence of a Lady, these words are now often initiated by ladies.

The use of profanity does have a place in humor, and I am in fact guilty of using it in an attempt at humor in my writing, but the world might be better off if we limited these words in our normal everyday life.  How many knife stabbings, gun shots or incidents of road rage would be eliminated if “Phooey on you, you big stupid head” replaced, “Fuck you, you fucking asshole!”?

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can cut like a knife!  “Ugly,” can hurt. “Fatso” can be painful.  “Nigger,” “Faggot,” or “Honkey” can be lethal.  “Old fat bald guy,” is also not very nice (trust me).  

All words have a time and a place, but they can be used with the intent to hurt.  When used to hurt, curse words are the weapons of mass destruction in our verbal arsenal.

God Dammit, did I just write something profound?

Let me read that again………Shit, I think that’s profound!

I’ll read it again in ten years, I’m sure by then it will just be stupid.  

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Stupid Headlines 061018

Stupid Headlines 061018

It is time again for


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

GM executive wrecks Corvette pace car at Indycar's Detroit Grand Prix – I think they may add another x to executive.

A white woman called police on black people barbecuing – In her defense they were in her back yard…What it was in a public park?  Well then that is just wrong.

7 men arrested for allegedly touching underage girls at water park – Apparently you should always ask a girls age before inappropriately touching them at a water park.

State trooper pulls over the cop who delivered him almost 27 years ago – I have no idea how he recognized him.

Park rangers using microchip technology to track down cactus thieves - They follow the microchips and then arrest the dude whose hands are bleeding.

Organic material found on Mars - Clean up on Planet four.
Fisherman drags thrashing blacktip shark back into ocean – You’d think the shark would go willingly.

LeBron James reveals he played with ‘self-inflicted’ broken hand for majority of NBA Finals – Playing competitive basketball at the highest level with a broken hand…incredible; breaking your own hand out of frustration from losing one game…really stupid!

Trump says he won't invite NBA champs to White House, after rebukes from James, Curry – When I have a party, I never invite people who think I am a piece of shit.  I’m funny that way.

Woman accused of using sex as weapon in bank robbery attempt – A new kind of “stick up?”

TSA agents searching 96-year-old woman in wheelchair sparks outrage – This agent was going to be my A-hole of the week, but it turns out the woman in the wheelchair asked for a second search.


Pit bull hailed hero after saving family from house fire – I admit I am a sucker for a good dog story, but one look at this dog…what a big mush!




Friday, June 8, 2018

Watch What You Say

Watch What You Say

An obscene cranky opinion for


The following is the opinion of a cranky old man with little knowledge on the topic opined.  Opposing opinions are welcome but wrong.  As always, please, no name calling…especially that extra offensive word "cunt."

Rosanne is an idiot.  She may be a racist, she may be a conservative, though in the past I believe she has been a bit liberal.  I don’t really know, hell she is just a comedian.  She is very funny and as a lot of comedians, she lives on the edge of nonconformity. 

She must be an idiot because she caused a giant uproar and had her show cancelled because she made a racist tweet about a woman that I and I assume many, many other people had never heard of.  The tweet did not appear to be made in a response to anything, it seemed to be out of the blue…not smart.

Am I upset that she lost her show?  I watched one episode, it was funny but it was not “must see TV” for me.

Am I upset that she is a racist?  I don’t like racism…who does?  Racists don’t like racism, they just don’t see it when it is them.

Several days after Rosanne’s show was cancelled another comedian called Ivanka Trump a cunt.  She also intimated that there was an incestuous relationship with her father. 

I don’t like racism.

I don’t think women should be called cunts, unless they are nasty then I prefer the word bitch. 

Do I believe this other lady should have her show cancelled? I don’t care.  I’ve not seen the show, I can’t even remember this persons name, I had never heard of her before.

I do enjoy all the hoo-ha over the use of these horrible terms.

In an age where foul language is all over TV, movies, books and magazines, why is everyone upset over words? 

Trump said “shit hole country” OMG, the horrors.  Should he have said backward countries, third world countries, countries without running water?  I’m not sure why any of those are better than shit hole.  I have stayed in motels I described as shit holes.  My college dorm was a shit hole.  If your country can be described as a shit hole, maybe you should try and clean it up.  Hell, most of the leaders in shit hole countries are living pretty damn good.

So, getting back on track, is there a double standard, where Rosanne loses her job for comparing a black woman to a monkey, while another more liberal comedian does not lose her job for comparing Ivanka Trump to a cunt.

How about I don’t give a crap. 

Clearly racist comments are unacceptable in this day and age. 

Apparently using the word cunt to describe another woman is allowed.

It doesn’t really bother me, I don’t use the word cunt, I know that many people are offended by the word cunt and think that the word cunt should never be said out loud.

Is saying cunt worse than saying nigger?  Nigger, cunt; cunt, nigger…I think they both are be offensive, especially when used in certain contexts.

Why is it so awful for a woman to be called a cunt while calling a man a dick is no big deal?  Some men are proud to be dicks, but no woman admits to being a cunt.  Is cunt worse than pussy?  Is it ok to say “Ivanka is such a vagina?” As a man it is better to be called a dick than a penis-head and I have been called both so I know.

Words and their power to hurt or offend has always been interesting to me.  Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me…but if I was black and you called me a nigger, I would kick your ass.  If I was a woman and you called me a cunt, I would scratch your face and pull your hair. 

In this day and age it is probably best to just keep some words to yourself.  Stop tweeting, stop blogging, stop talking…everyone just behave yourself.

That’s all I have to say today.  Maybe I will have more on Tuesday.  If so, I’ll see you next Tuesday.

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily of management Mrs. Cranky.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Computer Woes

Computer Woes

Several weeks ago, the keyboard on my laptop just stopped working.  I noticed it stopped sometime after a restart that followed some Microsoft Windows 10 updates. 

The Geek Squad fixed the problem, but not before I pleaded that it was a software problem, because it happened right after a restart, and I did not need a complete (cost prohibitive) rebuild.

Last week, after another 45-minute Microsoft Windows 10 update, my keyboard once again was not working. (I implore all Mac users, please do not give me the Mac lecture, I've heard it 1000 times, I don’t want to hear it again and I don't want a Mac…thank you.)

I brought it in to the GS, convinced that they could fix it again, and they did.

In the meantime, I purchased a second PC.  I don’t need anything fancy.  I don’t download terabytes of stuff, I don’t watch movies or do fancy editing.  I surf, I blog, I play solitaire.  I figured two PC’s would be convenient as I would not have to lug one up and down from bedroom to basement and then back when the battery runs down.

I bought a Dell, even though to me, Dell is a comic book company.  The GS sales-dude said the Dell would meet my needs, and it was dirt cheap.

The worst part of a new PC is setting up files the way you like them, getting MS Office without paying again as I am supposed to be good for up to three devices, and establishing all your favorites with correct passwords.

The process is a nightmare and, in the past, has almost resulted in Mrs. C leaving me.  I might have a patience problem.   

In several hours my new Dell was set up to my satisfaction with less stress than usual.  I was happy.  I now have an upstirs PC and a downstairs PC.


My new Dell started acting goofy.  It was slow opening some stuff up, but not too bad, but suddenly the little thingy that lets you put the PC to sleep or open up other applications did not respond.

I did a restart.

The PC screen lit up but said and did nothing.  I waited.  I waited some more.  I continued to wait.  I started getting antsy.

“This friggen frggan piece of shutter-bumble is not working!”

“Relax, it will come on, remember you bought a Dell to save money.”

“What, so if I buy a Kia and turn the key to start the engine it might just do nothing?  Should I be patient because it is an inexpensive car and you can’t expect it to start right up? 

“This is a computer, not a car, it is different.”

“It could at least say for me to ‘wait’ instead it says nothing.”

“Give it time.”

“Fuck that!”

I shut it down and restarted it again.  This time it did say “Working, wait.”  When it came on it asked for my sign-on and password.  It wanted me to change my password.  It did not like any of my passwords and made me copy some almost indiscernible jumble that was presented in-order to get a new password. 

Finally, I was back in action.

Except every time I start the damn thing up, it forces me to change my password which is that same onerous process again, plus I am running out of passwords…AND I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO SIGN ON ALL THE TIME…I DON’T HAVE TO SIGN-ON TO MY OTHER PC!!

Currently my password is “Pissoff13” because they would not accept “Fuckyou13” anymore, and every time I change my password I have to write it down someplace.

Now I have to go see the Geek Squad once again and have them set me up to not have to use a sign-on and password to start up my new PC.


Otherwise, everything is fine.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

I See A Rip Off

I See A Rip Off
I have two pair of glasses.  One is an upstairs pair, one is for downstairs and outside.  Even with two pair I am always looking for my glasses or I end up with two sets together.

My downstairs glasses keep dropping a lens.  The teeny screw that holds the lens in place keeps getting loose and the screw lies topside down, so when it gets loose it falls out.  A dab of crazy glue works for a while but eventually the screw slips out and the lens follows.  So far I have not lost a lens.

My upstairs glasses are glued together because I sat on them and they are not made to be sat on.  Mrs. C fixed them so that you can not tell they were sat on, but her special glue fix also gives out over time and has to be re-glued.

I decided that I need a pair of glasses that I can count on to not break as glue loses its potency.  I also would like a pair of glasses for the basement and a pair for the car, so I will never be without glasses when I need them. 

I can survive without glasses, but they make TV watching more comfortable and driving the car safer.  If I needed glasses all the time I would not be taking them off and leaving them around, and one good pair would be enough.

Anyway I decided I need new glasses.

My last three pair of glasses came from “Fancy Smancy Frame and Lens” a local hoity toity optic store.  I wanted to go to “Glasses “R” Us” but was told by my wife that I should get the best for my eyes.

The best for my eyes glasses that I purchased from “Fancy Smancy Frame and Lens” cost over $600 each, and that did not include the optometrist’s fee.

The glasses I purchased at “Fancy Smancy Frame and Lens” do not seem so special to me.  Designer frames are stupid.  How much of a genius do you have to be to design a pair of glasses?

For my new glasses I went to Costco.  I got a new (almost the same) prescription for $75.  I picked out two different yet similar frames.  The total cost for everything…$265.

When I was done with the fitting, I mentioned to the lady doing the measuring,

“The last pair I bought cost me over $600.”

She replied, “I know, I used to work for one of those rip-off places.”

Maybe these new glasses will not look as Fancy Smancy as my other two pair but they should still help me see clearly.  

You know, in the 12 years I have owned and worn $600 plus glasses, not once has anyone ever said to me,

“I love those glasses.”  

Monday, June 4, 2018


I think Fathers Day is soon, so my re-runs is for my Pop
this re-run is from June 2014

I thought my dad could do anything.  He was a Chemical Engineer.  Only smart people are Chemical Engineers.  He was a math whiz.  During the Second World War, he stayed in the US working on some complicated war related project that only really smart people worked on. 

He had smart hobbies.   He grew vegetables hydroponically in a greenhouse when that process was mostly just in books.  He designed and built small racing sailboats that out performed others in the class and were unsinkable to boot.  He built radios.  He built electric light dimmers before they were commercially available at the hardware store.

Dad knew how to skin-dive and he could hold his breath for over two minutes even though he was a smoker.  He sailed, knew navigation, he had his pilot’s license and flew his own single engine plane.  Pop was a good bowler and golfer.  He played piano by ear, and could strum whatever chords on the banjo that were required for a sing-along.  I’m pretty sure my father could do anything he put his mind to doing.

 In the '50's, pop almost died from an infection of the heart.  During rehabilitation he took up painting.  I can remember some portrait sketches, but don’t remember if he ever finished them.  I think he only finished and framed (he made the frame himself of course) one painting.  It was of a hunter and his dog.  Funny thing was pop never hunted and we did not have a hunting dog.  He hated hunting.  He went squirrel hunting once with a friend and he could not bring himself to pull the trigger on the poor little creatures.

Anyway he did complete that one painting, and then he went on to another endeavor.  I think he may have tried the hobby for three months.  The painting was not great, it was never worthy of living room display, but somehow I found it, I liked it, and I saved it.  It hangs in my garage where I see it most every day.  It represents one of my father’s least successful endeavors.

Still, I think it is pretty good.  Maybe I’ll bring it into the living room for Father’s Day.         
I think he had potential