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Sunday, June 3, 2018

Stupid Headlines 060318




 Stupid Headlines 060318

Jetstar passenger escorted off flight for violent outburst, making children cry If you’ve ever sat on a plane with a crying child you would know that of all the horrible things a passenger could do on a plane, making children cry has to be the worst!
Woman claims crude Southwest passenger masturbated during entire flight – The entire flight?  The flight was from Las Vegas to Philadelphia, apparently what starts in Vegas never finishes.
Dick's Sporting Goods shares surge as retailer raises earnings forecast – No! I will not make a crude comment about a surge causing Dicks to rise.
Jersey Shore real estate sign washes up in France years after Hurricane Sandy – Can that piece of Jersey Shore real estate be far behind?
Plane makes emergency landing after passengers vomit, faint from 'unbearable' smell of 'unwashed' man onboard – They could have dropped those emergency oxygen masks.
Harvard gives Hillary Clinton award for 'transforming society – Along with the award, she also got a juice box and a gluten free non-GMO apple.
Trump says he’s considering pardoning Martha Stewart – It’s a good thing, but Martha may have preferred if it came before she served her time in jail.
Treasure trove discovered at ancient fort destroyed by Vikings – That’s a shame, they find a treasure trove and along come a bunch of Vikings and they destroy it.

Flying A-Hole of the Week:
Televangelist is asking his followers to buy him a $54 million private jet - Always a tough choice, but Jesse Duplantis, grab your award, you’ve earned it!

FEEL-GOOD story of the week:
Kind busker helps blind girl with severe autism play guitar – If this doesn’t tug at your heart, you have no heart to get tugged.

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STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

















6 comments:

  1. The world just gets weirder and weirder.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  2. That was a tear jerker moment wasn't it....how lovely of him to take the time to bring joy to someone else.

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  3. My 13-year-old self is disappointed in your sudden maturity. Dick's is a terrible thing to waste. But then again, I'm nearly satisfied with your second headline, about the dude who apparently joined the Mile-High Club with himself.

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  4. Having ridden on a bus in Italy with factory workers heading home at the end of the day, i understand why that plane made an emergency landing.

    Loved the feel-good story.

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  5. Your feel good story was marvelous!!

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  6. Love the HRC juice box and gluten free non GMO apple award. Very deserving I'm sure. Hahaha!

    ReplyDelete

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