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Monday, January 22, 2018

Mrs. Cranky Grocery List


Mrs. Cranky Grocery List

As some of you may know, Mrs. Cranky does not have typical lady like neat handwriting.  On top of that she uses some sort of strange shorthand that often makes reading her grocery list like deciphering hieroglyphics.  I have not posted a Mrs. Cranky grocery list challenge for some time and as I am short on ideas it is time again.

I asked my wife if she had a recent list.  She said yes but that it would not be challenging enough for my readers.  I decided to use it anyway when it took her several minutes to interpret the list, and one item I had to figure out for her.

So, without further ado I challenge any reader to correctly identify the items on

MRS. CRANKY’s GROCERY LIST

 Side 1
Clue, 14 items
 Side 2

Clue, 10 items...some items are also on side 1, I have no idea why
The person who has the most correct answers will win a mention of their blog and a very large WHOOP-TE-DOO (if you have no blog the Whoop-te-doo will have to suffice.)
The most creative answers will win a less bold WHOOP-TE-DOO.
Runners up will win a teeny tiny Whoop-te-doo.

Good luck!
Comments will be held up for three days
Answers next week.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

THEY DON’T MAKE’EM LIKE THEY USED TO!

THEY DON’T MAKE’EM LIKE THEY USED TO!
 I am posting this re-run from 2013 in honor of the great blogger "fishducky" http://fishducky.blogspot.com/  who is currently recovering from a slip and fall accident.
Years ago, when my mom was around 82 years old, she slipped on some ice.  Mom was a few years away from Alzheimer’s, and looking back that disease was clearly just around the corner.  
Mom lived alone in a big house, her dream house on the Eastern Shore Md.  Coming from the garage after driving out to the road to pick up her mail, she slipped on some ice.

She tried to pick herself up, but she could not.  She dragged herself into the house where she survived for several days waiting to recover.  It would be a long wait as she had broken her hip.  After a day or two, a neighbor was looking in on her, found she was hurt and took her to the hospital.

They fixed her hip with a few screws and some rest.  She recovered very quickly for an old gal, and never got rid of the cane they gave her to get around.  Oh she didn’t need it to walk after a while, but she used it to reach high objects, or as a threat to crack anyone who got in her way.  

Mom was feisty to say the least.

You may ask, “Why didn’t your mom just simply get on the phone and call for help when she realized she could do no more for several days than crawl around?”  It is a fair question, one we asked her ourselves.

 Her answer?

“I didn’t want to trouble anyone, I was able to reach food and water, I figured I was all right.”

“But mom, you could have at least called 9-1-1 for help!”

“Oh, I don’t like to bother those nine-eleven people; they have lots of emergencies they have to deal with!”

Now I don’t know how much of mom’s attitude was caused due to her approaching dementia, but for sure she was one tough 5’2” 105 lb. lady!

They just don’t make ’em like they used to!
fishducky's comment in 2013 was:
I am ONLY 78 years old & I AM A WIMP!!
Apparently you are not so wimpy Fran!

STUPID HEADINES 012118

STUPID HEADINES 012118
It’s time again for
And every day of every year
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

______________________________
Black Death spread by humans, vindicating rats – I think this is coming several hundred years late, I suspect rats will seek damages for liable.
Counterfeit cash circulating in 11 states: Here’s how to spot it – Number 1.  Trump is not on the twenty-dollar bill…yet.
People in California face misdemeanor charges for feeding the homeless – I’m sure there is a reason for this law, but there must be a better solution…seems a bit harsh to me.
Traveler arrested at airport for wearing too many clothes – Playboy International has very strict rules.
Michael Douglas preemptively denies masturbation allegations – He’s not blind, but he does wear glasses.
Tom Brady injures throwing hand ahead of AFC Championship – They could Gillooley him and Brady will still be behind center this week and he will still be great…which pisses me off!
New Oregon law says motorists can pump their gas – Oh crap!  If New Jersey does this I’ll be lost.
Rural women having sex earlier than women in the city – City women are more active at night?
Five-foot long tapeworm came 'wiggling out' of man's body after he ate sushi – So, to get rid of a tapeworm, eat sushi.
$6 million in chips stolen in Wynn casino heist – Bet you can’t take just one.
And this week’s gift from Florida:
Man tries to order Taco Bell from drive-thru bank teller, gets arrested for DUI – Apparently the Taco Bell drive-thru clerk didn’t complain when he made a deposit.
FEEL -GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:
Pope Francis marries couple in impromptu ceremony aboard papal plane – I don’t know much about the Pope, but this makes him pretty cool in my book.
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Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY