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Thursday, September 23, 2021

We Are All Stupid


We Are All Stupid

When I am with my grandchildren, I sometime say that something is “stupid.”  I then get reprimanded as apparently these days, “stupid” is a four-letter word. 

I disagree.

Years ago, I self-published a book titled “I Used To Be Stupid.”

The premise of the book was that whenever you look back on your life you realize that you used to be stupid.  The older you get, the longer the time frame where you used to be stupid, but you used to be stupid nonetheless. 

This means that depending on how old you are, some years down the road you will look back on today and realize, “Damn, I was really stupid!”

My book sold 15 copies, four of which did not go to relatives, nine of those fifteen were bought by me as gifts.  Of the four non-relatives, two people told me they did actually enjoy the book.  I fully suspect that by now, those two people will realize that they enjoyed the book because…They used to be stupid!


Recently after thinking I have solved the secret to a consistent golf swing for maybe the 12th time this year, I realized that I will never master the game and the fact that I thought I could is because I AM STUPID!

Not used to be stupid, but at the age of 75 I have finally come to grips with not only did I used to be stupid, but in fact I am and always will be stupid. 

That is the wisdom of old age; you realize that you are stupid.

I think we are all stupid, and that is OK. 

I mean, don’t you know people that tell you their dog is really smart because it knows a few tricks?  Great, but that same dog also sniffs other dog’s butts and licks poop.  The dog that they think is so smart is actually really stupid.

So, let’s admit, we are all stupid.  Some of us can do really nice tricks, but we are still stupid.  Maybe not butt sniffing, poop licking stupid, but still pretty stupid.

We buy shit that people tell us will make us happy, because we are stupid.  We all think that we know what is best for us and everyone else (politics for example) because we are stupid.  We smoke, or drink, or do any number of stupid things, because we are stupid.

Granted some of us are less stupid than others, but we are all stupid.

Einstein was not really smart; he was just way less stupid than most of us...but he was still stupid.

For this to become a better world, we need to all realize that we are stupid.  Before we offer an opinion, take an action, do anything, we must make our decisions through the clouded lens of “I know I am stupid.”

Some of the most dangerous people in the world are stupid people who do not know they are stupid! 

Some of the most successful people in the world are people who try things that should not work because they are too stupid to know they won’t work and because of this stupidity they keep trying until they succeed.

So, there you have it.  Not only did I used to be stupid, but I am now stupid and tomorrow I will be stupid.  If I am not successful in whatever is determined to be successful by stupid people, it will be because I have been so smart that I know I am stupid and have not tried stupid things that stupid people manage to do successfully because they are too stupid to know those things cannot be done. 

I am also not dangerous, because I know I am stupid.

Old age has given me the wisdom to know I have been, am now, and will always be stupid. 

I also happen to be very happy. 

If I was less stupid, I would probably have a zillion reasons why I should be miserable.

If you are miserable, it is probably because you are just not that stupid…but then it is kind of stupid to be miserable. 


Does this post make any sense at all? Probably not, because…well, you know.


Tuesday, September 21, 2021





I am sure it would not be a shock to most readers of this blog that this cranky old man is a fan of reality TV.  As a knuckle dragging Neanderthal, (no offense intended to actual Neanderthals) mostly conservative, of course I would be a fan of Reality TV. 

Now, I am not a complete idiot, I know that most of Reality TV is not really reality, it is semi-real with semi-real situation staged by producers who realize reality does not bring ratings unless it is prodded a bit.

Anyway, I do watch some RTV.

I have a sensitive side that watches “Say Yes to The Dress.”  I am a big fan of Randy the gay dress guru.  I also follow “Married at First sight” and “90 Day Fiancé.”

But when I feel like a macho cranky old man, my go-to shows are “Deadliest Catch” and “Gold Rush.”

These shows also have a little bit of unreality prodding to make them interesting, but mostly they are the actual real deal.

“The Deadliest Catch” follows crab boats in Alaska.  These dudes risk their lives so the rest of us can enjoy the tasty meat of King and Snow crab from the Bearing Sea.  They are tough, and they are resourceful, the crabbers not the crab…the crab are sweet and tender.

“Gold Rush” follows gold miners, also in Alaska.  They are also tough and resourceful.  In both these shows, the tough guys overcome problems, sometimes life threatening, with MacGyver type fixes to equipment and with incredible personal endurance.

My favorites in these shows are two young snot-nosed kids that have been with the shows from the very beginnings, 10 years or more.

Jake Anderson was first seen as a lowly 18-year-old bait boy on the “Northwestern”, a boat captained by a tough Norwegian old salt. 

He was pushed to the edge in the worst ocean conditions you could imagine and never complained.  He was picked on and mocked as apparently all “Greenhorns” are picked on and mocked by the veteran crab crew.  He never complained. He only wanted to learn each job and he kept coming back for more, no matter how much work and abuse was piled on him.  In the end, after his first crab trip, he earned the respect of the captain and the rest of the crew.

In the ensuing years of the show, Jake has worked his way from bait boy, to top deck hand and engineer.  He learned everything there is to learn about running a ship, maintaining a ship, and leading a crew. 

Jake earned his Captain license and has for the last few years been Captain of his own ship with partial ownership.  This one-time bait boy is now, after only a few years, become not only a realty TV star, but also a millionaire boat owner. 

My other favorite star is Parker Schnabel.  Parker was also a snot-nosed kid when he first appeared on “Gold Rush.”  A 17-year-old who spent summers working on his grandpa’s mine, Parker skipped college, much to his parent’s chagrin and dove head on into gold mining. 

He started out scraping maybe 20 ounces of gold from his grandfather’s mine (as much a hobby for Grandpa as a vocation).  Parker now runs a mine company with several million dollars of equipment, and pulls out almost 7000 ounces of gold a year, every year, worth over 10 million dollars. 

He has made a zillion mistakes along the way.  As a snot-nosed kid it has not been easy earning the respect of gnarly heavy equipment running miners, but he has succeeded.

Being an old fart who has not really done much with my own life, I often complain about our younger generation of self-absorbent, woke, entitled, snot-nosed kids, because that is what old farts who have not really done much with their own life have always done.

Then I watch real snot-nosed kids like Jake and Parker and I realize I should probably just shut the front door.

I think we will be just fine with this generation.   


Tuesday, September 14, 2021

I Don’t Know the Man…but


I Don’t Know the Man…but

  Just this one time, I am pausing my moratorium on political commentary.


I don’t know the man.  Maybe he is a sweet old guy who has been a force for good all his life.  Maybe he is a bullying prick.  Maybe he has been a devoted statesman, maybe he has been a political hack.  How would I know, I don’t know the man?

I do know the symptoms.  I have seen them before.  I have a few of them myself. 

I do know that if he was my doctor, I’d want second opinion.  If he was my surgeon, I’d postpone the operation. 

If he was an engineer, I would not be the first car over his bridge.

If he was my teacher, I’d question his facts.  If he taught math, I’d check his work.

If he was my pilot, I’d change my flight.

If he was a cashier, I’d count my change.

If he was a chef, I would not take big bites of his servings.

If he was my uncle, I’d roll my eyes at his repeated stories while I still loved him.  If he was my dad, I’d make sure mom did the driving.

If he was my only choice as a baby sitter, I’d stay home that night.

He is probably a very nice man, he seems to be well liked, but people change as they age, some more than others.  

I suspect many people would not trust this man as their doctor/surgeon, engineer, teacher, pilot, cashier, chef or baby sitter. 

They would still love their uncle and worry about their dad, and they would pray for their President and their Country.