A CRANKY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

 

A CRANKY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

 The following endorsement is unsolicited.  This cranky old man has received no remuneration for this post.

For 15 years I have had an arthritic hip.  It was not medically diagnosed, so maybe it was something else, after all, I am not a doctor.  However, I am also not a meteorologist but I can tell when it is raining…so…I think the condition was arthritis.

My hip issue was not debilitating, but I could not run, sometimes walked with a limp and especially noticed it when walking up or down stairs.  I learned to live with it.  I could still play golf and bowl, I seldom needed to run anywhere and, so I limped going up and down stairs not a big deal.

About one year ago, Mrs. C saw an add for a pain relief product, “Hempvana.” Mrs. C will purchase just about anything she sees on TV.  UPS has our address on speed dial.  Most of the stuff she buys is crap.  Sometimes she finds a winner.

I tried the Hempvana.  I applied it several times a day for a week.  Then I stopped.  I stopped because I didn’t think about it.  I didn’t think about it because my hip never bothered me.  I did not limp.  I could go up and down stairs without issue and if chased by a bear, I think I could even run.

Why it is called HEMPvana I am not sure.  Hemp does not seem to be the major ingredient.  Applied topically it does not give you a “Mary Jane high” it just makes pain disappear.

My hip is basically cured.  Sometimes I use it on my neck and I have one knuckle and a big toe that is arthritic…works for them as well.

I assume the stuff either works or it provides a placebo effect.  Either way, who cares.

I have since mentioned it to several friends who complained about similar aches and pains.  My son, who is a physical fitness teacher and health fanatic, complained about a shoulder problem. 

He tried the stuff.

Three times a day for a week.  Problem gone!

Best I can tell the stuff is just a topical application of aspirin that gets to the joint.  Who knows…it works for me.

As several people upon my recommendation have found relief from joint pain, I am offering this endorsement as a public service.

Friends who have spent lots of money on chiropractors and physical therapists have found real relief from this stuff.

For $10 a jar it couldn’t hurt.  It is sold all over, I think Mrs. C got it at Walgreens.

If you try the stuff and it doesn't work, sorry I may have cost you $10.

If you try the stuff and it works; You're welcome!

 

 

FISHING WITH FROG one more time

 

FISHING WITH FROG one more time

Frog, Catfish, Cranky, Marty filling in for Joby (we're not so good at taking pictures.)

Readers of this blog that have been with me since the beginning may be familiar with the “Fishing With Frog” series.  These posts detail the many annual fly-fishing trips with old, and I mean old, fraternity brothers in various Western Maryland streams.  There have been several characters, but every year includes Frog, and Catfish.

My last trip was in 2016, I have been missing due to previous engagements, aching bones, and Covid, but in 2022 I returned.

If you have any interest in previous posts, and they are actually reasonably entertaining if you have no life, go to the upper left corner where the little spyglass thing is and type “Fishing with Frog.”  All the posts along with their links will magically appear.

 

This years trip, along with Frog and Catfish was Joe to most, Joby to us and Mr. Cady to neighborhood 8-year-olds.

We left on Wednesday morning for a 5-hour drive and stayed at a very nice soup to nuts condo/cabin that Catfish found.  It took twenty minutes and a lot of cussing before Frog mastered the complicated 6 numeric entry code and we were in.  I did say we were old, didn’t I?

As soon as we unpacked it was off to the first stream.  I caught no fish; I did manage to lose my wading stick which made getting back to dry land a bit dicey…I survived. Frog caught three rainbow trout, and Catfish nailed two fish, one a very large rainbow. 

Joby had little luck.

The next day we tried a new stream.  It looked nice, but there were no fish.  I know there were no fish because Catfish did not catch any fish.  Frog sometimes does not catch a fish, if Catfish gets skunked, it is because there were no fish.  That afternoon we retuned to the first stream.  No bueno. I think Catfish caught one.

Friday, we tried a stream a bit further away that Catfish, based on previous trips, was convinced would not have any trout.

Catfish was wrong. 

There were fish.  He caught several, even an elusive golden trout, as did Frog.  I believe Joby got a few as well, me not so much.  I did however manage to not lose a single fly either by a birds-nest cast or a snagged tree branch.  This was a victory for me. 

Before we broke for lunch, Catfish called me over to a productive spot, demonstrated a new technique, and tied on a new fly.

With his tutoring I caught three small mouth bass and a croaker.  Actually, Catfish caught the first fish while demonstrating how to present the fly, but he quick handed me the rod to reel it in, promising not to tell any one I did not hook it. 

We did get a picture.

There is too a fish in that net!

As many times as I have gone fishing, I am always shocked to actually catch a fish. 

We left the stream for a lunch break and returned later.

Frog and I tried a new spot on the stream.  It was not very deep.  The rocks were slick.  I know it was not too deep because the damn slick rocks caused me to do a full-on face plant into the stream…twice.  That was the end for me.  I returned to our car and climbed out of my waders and tried to dry off…not very successfully.  Oh, BTW I lost my driving glasses on the second slip.

I finished the day while the others ran into some very good dry-fly fishing, with a nice cigar which I smoked down further than a hobo and listened to the Yankee game on the radio.

Later, a shower, some scotch and a steak never tasted so good.

That is the thing about fishing, especially fly-fishing.  Part of it is fun, much is really hard and tiring, a whole lot is frustrating as heck, especially for a nubie like myself; but a shower will never feel better and a cigar, scotch and steak could never taste as good.

Will I do it again next year?  

Kind of like a woman who just had a baby…no way…

Then, you forget the difficulty, the frustration and the unplanned-on swim.  Eventually the thought of actually catching a fish, and the taste of a steak, scotch and a good cigar kicks in.

Like a woman who amazingly enough will have another baby, I suspect I will do it all over again. (The fishing trip that is!)    

 

 

  

Stop the World, we want to get off

 

Stop the World, we want to get off

Written by we, ourselves and us.

I recently read an article about a protestor who tied themselves to the net during a French Tennis Open match.  The article said they were an environmental protestor.  I found something about the article confusing…I must be getting old.  

Of course, I was under the impression that pronouns are to be used based on a person's choice, but apparently the media is now deciding that if not specified, the accepted LGBTQIA+ pronouns should be used.

I shouldn’t be confused about the new use of pronouns.  Nothing wrong with political correctness.  I am learning; for instance, this happened the other day:

We were shopping at the market by ourselves and we started to talk to the person behind us.  They were only buying a few items, so we asked them if they wanted to step in line in front of us.  We were alone as were they and not in a hurry.  My wife was at home and they weren’t waiting for us for anything, so we figured we could let them step in front of us and it would not bother my wife who was home alone by themselves.

Anyway, this person replied that it was OK, they were not in a hurry so they could wait.

While the two of us were chatting, the cashier asked us for our store card while they rang up our groceries.  We then bagged our groceries, we paid and left.

The person behind thanked us for our gesture and we told them they were welcome.

If this is confusing, at least it does not offend, after all, that is very important.