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Saturday, April 17, 2021

Stupid Headlines 041821

 

Stupid Headlines 041821



This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

 

Controversial lawn decoration ignites battle within neighborhood – Neighbor did not like a small statue of a frog, I’m going to take a wild guess that this neighbor does not actually have a life.

World’s longest bunny stolen from former Playboy model – The bunny is recognized by a cute little wiggly tail.  The missing rabbit is described as a really big rabbit.

Town taken over by large herd of goats – Tom brady, Michael Jordon, Tiger Woods and Wayne Gretsky all visit the same town?

California promotes 'dismantling racism in mathematics' – I know I am old, but this just does not add up for me.

San Diego Zoo worker bitten by venomous snake with no antivenom – Why would a venomous snake have antivenom?  In case they change their mine?

Woman duped into thinking she was engaged to Prince Harry – Apparently it was Prince Harry of Nigeria.

Brett Favre wants sports, politics to be separated – Because a filibuster in the huddle would just not work.

Kraft is giving away cheese-scented incense so fans can ‘breathe cheesy – Nothing like breathing “Who cut the cheese” scented incense.

Garden gnome shortage strikes due to pandemic - Fortunately I stocked up on garden gnomes before the pandemic hit.

7 useful tools for a quick and easy digital spring cleaning – No need to read if you don’t do windows.

Feel-Good Headline of the week

Reporter Goes To Shelter To Do A Story, Dog Hugs Him Tight Till He Adopts Her – I’m just a mush for a good dog story.

 



https://iheartdogs.com/rescue-dog-hugs-news-reporter-until-he-adopts-her/

 

 

Bonus Dog Story

Stray Dog Found Curled Up In Snow Keeping Orphaned Kittens Warm – Like I said…mush.



https://www.thedodo.com/close-to-home/stray-dog-found-curled-up-in-snow-keeping-orphaned-kittens-warm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday, April 15, 2021

The trouble with Expert Advice

 

The trouble with Expert Advice



A good man, but sometimes...

 I was watching a show recently where a doctor was giving expert advice on dealing with Covid-19.   It was frightening.  I wondered,

“How much of this advice is scary because it is ‘cover your ass’ advice that the doctor is giving.”

In other words, is his advice slanted such that there is no way for him to be accused of not taking the virus serious, being ridiculed, or even taken to court?

Example:

Years ago pregnant women might be told that if they had a glass of wine a day it would be fine.  No one was encouraged to drink while pregnant, but in many doctors opinion moderation was reasonably safe.  Unfortunately, some women got plastered daily and when the baby had issues claimed the doctor said it was OK.  In order to protect themselves, a doctor now will not take any chances.  He will tell pregnant women absolutely no alcohol. 

I am not advising pregnant women to drink, just giving an example where medical advice is slanted to protect the doctor by not necessarily giving his actual  medical opinion.  Most people recognize when the doctors advice is as much to protect himself as to give accurate information and the result is a diminishing value towards a doctors advice.

While listening to the scary Covid expert (and yes I know Covid is serious and dangerous) I envisioned the same type of advice applied to crossing a street.

Moderator: “Tell me Dr. Doom, these days, is it safe to cross the street?”

Dr. Doom: “Well that depends on who is crossing the street.  Studies have shown that children under six should not cross the street without adult supervision.  Even with supervision, parents should be sure to look both ways for cars before crossing, and if they see a car they should wait.  There have been cases of adults crossing the street with children who have been hit by a car and it is very dangerous…it has even caused DEATH!”

Moderator: “Is there anything we can do to stay safe while crossing?”

Dr. Doom: “Along with the suggestion to always look both ways, people should wear bright clothes and at night have reflector tape.  You should only cross at an intersection, preferably one with a traffic light.  Only cross at the green light.  Make sure the green light is facing you, not ongoing traffic.  Also, while walking, always stay on the sidewalk until you need to cross.”

Moderator: “So, if you follow all these rules crossing the street is safe?”

Dr. Doom: “Safe is relative.  There have been instances of a driver losing control or running a light and pedestrians who have followed all the rules still being run over.”

Moderator: “You mean even wearing light clothes with reflector tape, looking both ways and crossing at the green can be dangerous?”

Dr. Doom: “Certainly.  You are dealing with 3000 pounds of metal traveling sometimes 70 miles an hour.  It is very dangerous.

Moderator: “What else should people do?”

Dr. Doom: “Well, if you absolutely HAVE to cross a street, in addition to wearing the correct clothes, looking both ways and waiting for the green light, you should walk fast, do not dawdle, pay attention while crossing, but and I can not stress this strongly enough, crossing the street is NEVER 100% safe.  Anything can happen.  You could slip and fall, there could be driver error, some people freeze, dogs sometimes attack…there are a number of things that can go wrong.  My advice is ‘If you do not have to cross the street, don’t!’”

Moderator: “Great advice! Thank you Dr. Doom.  

There it is folks, stay at home, it is too dangerous out there! 

Coming up after words from our sponsor, a home economic advisor tells us if it is safe to put away knives from the dishwasher.”

 

OK, OK, I get it.  Wear a mask, actually wear two masks, stay six feet from others, wash you hands often and scrub for at least 30 seconds, get tested often, get the vaccine, but then still do all of the above.  Finally, wait until experts say you can leave the house.

   

There is an instructional on street crossing!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jCpBH5zehI 

 

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Happy Blogaversary To Me!

 AND THE PASSWORD IS…


I have no opinion for this week's Cranky Opinion Friday. 
Instead I offer this re-run, my very first post of almost 3000 posts, on this my 
10th cranky Blogaversary 
When I was working for a major Wall Street firm I must have used at least 15 applications which required a password for access.  I would have liked to have used only one password, but that was not possible.  You would think that a company would establish one set of rules for choosing a password.  You would think wrong. 
One application required a 3-5 alpha character password; one required a 7-10 alpha character password.  Some applications required at least one uppercase character, and some required at least one numeric.  Most applications required the password be changed every month.
I used at least seven different passwords.  For those applications which were not used every day, violating the password was a given.  Unless I guessed correctly it would be three tries and you are out.  I wonder how many hours of productivity per day are wasted by employees trying to have their passwords reset.
We were always warned that choosing a password was important.  Do not pick something obvious like your birthday.  Don’t use your initials.  Don’t use the names of your wife or kids or pet or your parents or your grandparents.  Do not use any name or number that anyone could tie to you as that would be too easy for a scammer to figure out and get unauthorized access to an application.   Essentially the rule was to never choose a password that you might actually remember.
Since I could not remember the seven to ten different passwords I was required to use, all of which I was required to change monthly, the obvious solution was to record all my passwords and the associated applications on a piece of paper and leave it under my keyboard.  This also was frowned upon.
“Do not leave your list of passwords where they may be easily found!” 
OK, I cannot use passwords which I can easily remember, and when I write them down so I can remember them, I need to put the cheat-sheet in a not obvious place.  In effect, hide the list of passwords which you cannot remember in a place that you will also not remember.
I developed a secret code based on numbers and the alphabet.  Using this code, I recorded the hiding place that I could not remember which held the passwords for all the applications which I could not remember and placed it under the keyboard.  I recorded the key to the code which told me where I hid the passwords that I could not remember and hid it somewhere no one would ever suspect.  I recorder this location on a piece of paper and taped it blank side up to my keyboard.  On the blank side I wrote K2PWLcLiUtP (Key to password location code location is under this paper.)
Weeks later I was fired!  At night, my computer was broken into and an application accessed which enabled the hacker to steal sensitive information which cost the firm several million dollars.  I was fired for breaking the rules of password security.  I forgot that the password for this sensitive application was K2PWLcLiUtP.
Shit!