I usually busted these kid’s chops.
Monday, October 22, 2018
HAS HALLOWEEN CHANGED, OR IS IT JUST MY NEIGHBORHOOD?
a cranky re-run October 2015
If you could not be home for the trick or treaters, you left a big basket of candy out and candy was taken on the honor system. When you came home there was still candy in the basket.
The first round was taken up with talking to the parents (all from the immediate neighborhood) and guessing what each child was dressed as and which child was which. Guessing the costumes was easy as the parents would mouth the answer if it was not obvious. You always guessed the wrong child in each costume, no matter how obvious. The little ones loved that you knew their costume and loved even more that you didn’t know who they were. The little ones practically squealed “Trick or treat” with delight when you opened the door.
The second round of costumers answered with a more sedate “Trick or treat.” They answered a few question but were intent on moving on to the next house as quickly as possible…collecting the most candy was a contest. Whereas the little treater’s costumes were mostly store bought costumes of ghosts, witches, skeletons, or Disney characters, the second round of kids had homemade outfits. They were football players, cheerleaders, hoboes or pirates.
The final round of kids, the teens, often had no costume at all. Maybe a funny hat, or a store bought mask of the current President, but that was usually tilted up on the top of their head. They often just held out there bag and said nothing…too cool to say “trick or treat” young enough to want free candy.
I usually busted these kid’s chops.
I usually busted these kid’s chops.
“Yes, what do you want?”
“You know, like candy.”
“What do you say?”
“Come on, you know.”
“Trick or treat.”
“Thank you!” Then I would hand over the candy.
By nine thirty it was lights out and candy in. Late comers would not have their ring answered. Even without the treat, I was never tricked.
These days, the kids come around right after school. Parents accompany all but the teens. They hang by the street cell phones ready to call 9-1-1 because they assume every home is occupied by a potential child predator. I seldom know anyone that comes to the door. The costumes are always store bought, and the kids seldom say “Trick or treat” even when prompted. They just stick out their bag and collect the candy. Sometimes they say “thank you” sometimes they grumble that you did not give them the good candy.
The costume parade ends around eight, except for a few delinquents that ring the bell at ten even thought the lights are all out.
If you leave your car out, the windows will be soaped and there is usually some toilet paper thrown. Sometimes the little assholes toss eggs at the house.
Today if you leave a basket of candy out while you are away for an hour, it will be empty when you come home…you are lucky if they leave the basket.
I remember when Halloween was fun. It was fun as a trick or treater, and it was fun answering the door.
These days Halloween is more like a holdup, no joy, no imagination, no neighborhood party, just give me stuff because you are just supposed to give out stuff…and it better be good!
Has Halloween changed, or is it just my neighborhood?
Saturday, October 20, 2018
Stupid Headlines 102118
This weeks stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.
White Castle CEO still works alongside nearly a dozen of her cousins – That is, if you call cracking a whip and yelling “faster,” work.
Almost half of U.S. births are unplanned, says U.N. report – Very interesting. I have no reason to doubt this except I have had 4 children and do not recall anyone from the UN asking if my children were planned or not. I’m pretty sure I would remember punching some asshole in the nose if I was asked. I have never heard anyone ever being asked this question, but it is a UN report, so it must be true.
In Canada, marijuana is now legal – So is their national anthem now “Oh Cannabis?”
Police find stolen doughnut van – If there is one thing cops can find, it is doughnuts! (Actually they handed them out to the Homeless)
Kathy Griffin Flips out on Trump Over Stormy Daniels ‘Horseface’ Dig: ‘F— You Mushroom D—‘ The President lacks class when he calls a woman ‘Horseface’ but in his defense, mushroom dick might be worse…Also, anyone remember when KG used to be really funny?
Kangaroo meat served to Nebraska school students – Is this how 21 Jump Street came about?
Man Who Murdered Mom With Hammer Sobs as He Asks Judge for Second Chance – What the heck? Does the guy have another mother?
California teen bitten by shark offered free lifetime fishing license - Just as long as he stops using his leg for bait.
A 9-year-old Canadian cashes in on the long lines for pot and sells out her Girl Scouts cookie supply – I’m sensing a future Fortune 500 CEO.
DICKHEAD of THE WEEK GOES TO:
A white woman people have dubbed 'Golfcart Gail' called the police on a black man for cheering on his son during a soccer game – This makes me hate white people, not me, I am 1/1024 African American.
Police officers searching for missing child find note shaming them for parking in space reserved for parents – Because convenient parking for a parent is so much more important than finding a missing child. Clearly the cops should have circled the lot looking for a space.
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK
Walmart employee uses break to paint nails for woman with disability – Sometimes it is the little things that make a feel-good story.
Friday, October 19, 2018
We live in such a gotcha society. It seems like some people have nothing better to do than parse every word spoken or written, looking to be victimized or to sniff out racism and political incorrectness.
It is pretty easy to shame someone today. Simply go on twitter and pick out the responses that suit your agenda, then like them and or retweet them until you get the attention you desire.
Typically, when caught with a faux pas, even when it is the result of selected interpretation, the accused effusively apologizes.
I say stop it!
If you are innocent from the intent that is heaped on you, an apology is more like an admission of guilt and it will stick with you. I say fight back.
What is it that caught my attention on this subject? Last week, Ron Darling was on TV as the color man for the Yankee/ Oakland wild card baseball game. Ron Darling is an ex-pitcher for the Mets. He was a damn good pitcher and is pretty good on TV.
During the game, Masahiro Tanaka, the Yankee pitcher who is from Japan, found himself with men on base and a 3-0 count on the batter. Ron Darling then said, “A little chink in the armor for Tanaka here. It’s the first inning where he’s lost a little of his control.”
The comment did not stir any emotion in me. First of all, “chink in the armor” is a common phrase. I’ve used it, and I hear it all the time. It did cause a stir on Twitter. Tweeters were aghast that Darling would you’re the word “Chink” when Tanaka was pitching.
Darling apologized profusely and said he meant no disrespect to Tanaka.
“Chink” is a derogatory term to a person from China. Tanaka is Japanese, so it seems to me the twitter storm was in itself racist, equating anyone from Asia with one country…isn’t that what gets people bent out of shape with the use of Oriental instead of Asian?
Instead of apologizing, I would have preferred Darling to address the tweeters and say,
“This accusation of racism is stupid, I used an acceptable term in a situation where it was appropriate, any interpretation of racism is on the interpreter, not on me. END OF STORY!”
I was recently attacked on Facebook. I said in a post about the upcoming Yankee playoff series,
“If there is a God in Heaven, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care who wins, but I am rooting for the Yankees!”
I immediately had a comment,
“What do you mean “IF?”
I really did not think my post deserved a discussion of my belief or non-belief in the existence of God and I replied as such, perhaps stronger than needed and I told the commenter to “Lighten up.”
He chose not to lighten up and after several ridiculous back and forth comments, I learned how to block a person from any of my Facebook posts or comments.
The world is just getting crazier and crazier.
Oh, I forgot, Ron Darling’s mother is of Hawaiian/Chinese descent, I’m pretty sure he is not racist.