A Brand-New Car
There is a new car in the Cranky family. My Jeep was 11 years old and Mrs. C refused to drive it because it is a bit of a “rough ride” her opinion not mine, and it does not have cruise control, which I hate.
Anyway, time for a change.
The new car is a small Honda, not particularly exciting, but for some reason new cars have not excited people since the 50’s or 60’s when any new car on the block would bring all the neighbors out to gawk and drool. These days it is pretty hard to tell if a car is new or a 2011 model that just got detailed.
I was leaning to a small Cadillac, just to own a Cadillac, but decided it was not practical, would be a tight fit in my garage, and is kind of an old man car. I have enough old man stuff going on for me already.
As boring as a Honda might be, it is going to take me a few weeks to learn all its bells and whistles.
It has a back-up camera which I like because my head does not spin around like it used to, but there are three different camera settings…one would have been fine.
It has an audio system with am, fm, and satellite radio, plus a cd player and a few audio things that I have no idea what they are. There are several ways to access all these features, touch screen, buttons, and voice command. I am used to am/fm with a station dial and five preset stations. It took me three minutes to figure out my Jeep radio. This new technology will take me a few weeks even with help from Mrs. C.
A navigation system is nice, but I was just getting comfortable using SIRI on my phone. This system is twice as complicated with three times the options. I do not really like options.
The car beeps and yells out warnings for any approaching vehicle…I have to get used to the backseat driver that is in my control panel.
Setting the emergency brake and taking it off is tricky. The heating/air and fan operation is not just a simple switch and all the options are making my head spin. I miss “On” “Off” “High” “Low.”
The car requires no key to open the doors or start the engine. There is a “Fob” that when it is close to the car unlocks the door and when it is in the car allows the push of a button to start the car. This is great except:
I’ve read that thieves can boost the signal with some fancy electronic gadgets and unlock and even steal your car, even if your Fob is inside the house. Now I need to buy a Fob cover that blocks these signal amplifying instruments.
The other problem with keyless entry is I am never sure if the car is locked or not.
I can push a button to lock the doors, but when I go to check that the doors are in fact locked, they open because the Fob is too close. I am a bit OCD, and always check the doors just to confirm they are locked.
Confirming the door is locked reminds me of Garrison Keeler describing a parade where everyone wore hats that made up an American Flag when viewed from above. When the parade marchers passed a screen displaying the hat-formation flag, everyone looked up and the hat flag disappeared.
There are a few other new car things that will take me a while to master, hopefully I will catch on before I lose my extremely limited patience.
I do love new technology, but I also miss the simplicity of roll up windows, one speed wipers, keys, and on/off switches. I even miss that floor button to turn your high beams on or off, but that was replaced before Reagan was President.