Ingredients
Do you
really care about the ingredients in products?
I guess I do a little, but I assume that the FDA and other government
watchdogs will protect me. Then there is
the legal system. Manufacturers need to
protect themselves from lawsuits, so I assume most products are safe.
Yes, I may
be an idiot, but there is enough in life to worry about, I’m not worrying about
product ingredients. GMO food? Screw it, maybe I could use an extra limb or
an eleventh toe. Gluten? It was not an issue for 70 years, I’m not
going to make it an issue for me now.
I do get it;
many people are lactose intolerant and it is good to know if that dessert has
dairy or not. Gluten affects many
people, and nut allergies are common. It
is just that these things do not affect me, so yeah, I don’t care.
I do get a
kick out of products that advertise special ingredients like they are
scientifically proven to be super-duper.
There is a
yogurt that pushes its product as one that will help regulate your bowel
movements. The special ingredient that
does this is…drum roll please…BIFIDUS
REGULARIS!
Why not just
name it POOPULUS TIMLINESS? Is there really an ingredient that some
scientist decided to name bifidous regularis because it makes your movements
regular? I don’t think so.
There is a
product that removes the bags from under your eyes. What is the ingredient that takes the bags
from under your eyes that this product proudly touts?
“Its silicates from shale.”
Well now,
silicates from shale, of course that would take bags from your eyes. Like some scientist thought, “I wonder what might take the bags from
under one’s eyes…I’ll bet silicates from shale would do the trick…Yeah that
should do it!”
What else
did they try before they decided silicates from shale would work? Dog doo?
Slime from clams? Gook from lobster livers? No, I think silicates from shale should be
just the thing to remove bags from under your eyes…sign me up!
Here is the
one that really gets my attention. If
you are having memory problems there is a product that can help. What is the special ingredient that improves
your memory? Enzymes from
jellyfish!
Well that
makes sense. If you are having trouble
remembering things, why not supplement your brain with enzymes from the
dumbest, most unthinking animal on the planet…JELLYFISH!
And yet, people
buy this crap!
Lately my
golf game sucks. I just can’t cure a
nasty slice. There is a new golfing energy
drink that claims to have the ingredient, “Endus sliculitus!”
It has to be
worth a try.
What do they have for hookers?
ReplyDeleteWhat gets me is how many people fall for this stuff and actually believe it will work if only they buy enough and use enough. Silicates from shale? Really? You probably just need to drink more water and get more sleep if you want to reduce your under eye bags. Those are generally genetic anyway and can't be removed without surgery I'd think.
ReplyDeleteJELLYFISH! I need JELLYFISH! Where can I get it. No, don't tell me, I'll only forget. Actually I wonder how we managed to exist before scientists discovered all these fabulous remedies.
ReplyDeleteI am not touching that hooker question. Oh, wait. My friend is a hooker (makes hooked rugs from wool strips on a stretched backing material attached to a frame. It was hell on her wrists and she had to have carpal tunnel surgery.
ReplyDeleteGotta love the placebo effect.
This is why i stick to a couple of basic vitamins and let other people take all the hundreds of things that are supposed to keep you alive forever. Good luck to them, i hope their money doesn’t run out before their extended lives do.
ReplyDeleteThey're not going to list the really bad ingredients anyway. It's like a few years back when China was adding lead to everything from children's toys to food.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why they were adding lead.
Worker: "Boss, I think I'm done making all the toys you assigned to me this week."
Boss: "Great! Now just add some lead and we'll ship them off!"
I do have to read some labels with my heart disease. Try to limit salt, fat and cholesterol. Other than that I totally agree. I also agree with Olga, the placebo effect is quite powerful.
ReplyDeleteYeah, this makes me wonder about the stuff they sampled before finding an ingredient that supposedly works. Jellyfish would be pretty far down my list. And who signs up to TRY such remedies?
ReplyDeleteLet me know if it works!!
ReplyDeleteI really think some of the labels are an excuse to charge more. Buy an organic, non GMO, gluten free version of something and you're going to pay about twice what you would for the regular version.
ReplyDeleteWhat amazes me is that now things are advertised as gluten free, dairy free, cholesterol free...that always have been. Like, you know, the gluten free, dairy free, cholesterol free apple!
ReplyDeleteYou had me with the under eye bag cure..I'm mean, really, I need that. I have multiple ugliosis...send me the link.
ReplyDeleteYeah, they’re interesting concoctions, but have to tell ya, that several years ago my hairdresser then brought in an eye product like the one advertised. Shes always been big on getting in shape for her annual high school reunion even though in her seventies. She showed me by applying the product to her wrinkles around her eyes, much as the tv ad — it worked! I forget the time duration she said it lasted, but was sufficient for her evening at her reunion. Not a product I’d use, but to each his or her own.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what you pay for this stuff, it all ends up in the same place ....
ReplyDeleteIf I ever want to lose my bags, I just fly Virgin Airlines.
ReplyDeletePopping in after a long time. I'm glad to see you're still here and still as cranky as ever! :)
You remind me of my husband who is forever ranting at the TV about made up words - often in the beauty industry. I must tell him about poopulus timliness and pretend it's a real thing - he'll explode!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true and I wonder how many people actually have issues with gluten and how many are just jumping on the gluten free bandwagon. Your comment about the GMO's is hysterical. I could definitely use a few extra limbs!
ReplyDelete