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Saturday, September 8, 2018

Stupid Headlines 090918


Stupid Headlines 090918

This weeks stupid headlines and my even stupider sometimes sophomoric comments
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Burglary suspect nabbed after getaway vehicle gets stuck in large manure pile – He was and still is in deep doo-doo.

81-year-old grandma yanks pythons from grill at request of concerned family – I guess they like their python rare.  I prefer mine non-existant.

Woman dipping chicken finger in soda sparks outrage on social media – It wouldn’t bother me, except it wasn’t her soda!

Florida man shot at woman's home after she wrote bad restaurant review – The food isn’t bad, but apparently the service is awful.

Denver police pursuing former UFC fighter after his latest knockout – Problem is it was in a bar, not a ring.

Ohio school resource officer used Taser to wake sleeping student in library – Officer was immediately chastised by a cacophony of Shushes! 

Perfectly-preserved 1,000-year-old hunter's dart discovered in melting ice – I expect that hundreds of years from now, several perfectly preserved wiffleballs will be found in Mrs. Rosenthal’s ivy bed.

CBS honcho Les Moonves tried to destroy Janet Jackson's career after Super Bowl 'Nipplegate' – Such a fuss over a friggin nipple!  I remember this halftime; about a dozen people at a party all asking, “Was that her titty?”  “I’m not sure, maybe…get me a beer willya.”

Connecticut mom suffers 'extreme' injuries after lighting dynamite she mistook for candle – At least if wasn’t a 30th birthday party!

Elon Musk says we're probably living in a simulation – I still have trouble with long division.

Oxycontin maker gets patent for drug to treat opioid addiction – They first drug ya, then they mug ya, and now they un-bug ya…all for a price.  Why does fox and chicken coop come to mind?

Good news story of the week:

Firefighters nurse an exhausted Hummingbird back to health – If this does not touch your heart, you have no heart.

Come Back Next Week For more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!


15 comments:

  1. Some needed end of the day laughs. And then I shake my head in wonder at some of the stories.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
  2. No matter what we use, those lawyers just keep coming back. But how in the world could you think a stick of dynamite is a candle.

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  3. Mut have been a slow day at the firehall...thank goodness.

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  4. I love that head line at the top! I think they've become immune to the spray much like bacteria to antibiotics....

    Great story about the hummingbird too. Didn't realize there is a web site that just has good news.

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  5. My 13-year-old self appreciates your doo-doo comment. I saw that chicken finger woman story. She needs EVENING from Even Steven!

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  6. I saw the video of the grandma that took those snakes out of that grill. She was awesome.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  7. You are saying my lawyer spray doesn't work? Phooey.

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  8. Oh, I love these! Perfect for my Sunday reading pleasure and some hearty laughs. I always knew those bug sprays had limitations on what they could extinguish. If they won't work on lawyers then I guess they wouldn't work in some other settings where there are some bug-types

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  9. If they are so upset about dipping chicken fingers in soda, i guess i would have been lynched all those years ago for dipping popcorn in soda. Of course, i always used my own soda.

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    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Actually it's dipping food into sugar water, how bad could that be?

      Delete
  10. Strange but true. I saw a video of the grandma snatching the snakes out of the grill.

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  11. Maybe we could send some of those loaded...ahem..."candles" to all the lawyers for birthday presents? What's the worst that could happen? The candle maker gets sued? By WHO?

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  12. Come on. . . chickens ain't got fingers. . .

    And everyone knows you can't get rid of lawyers with bug spray. . . You gotta use the industrial-strength Lawyer Spray. . .

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  13. Florida man shot at woman's home after she wrote bad restaurant review ... was she, by chance, served chicken fingers in soda?

    ReplyDelete

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