Stupid Headlines 090918
This weeks stupid headlines and my even stupider sometimes sophomoric comments
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81-year-old grandma yanks pythons
from grill at request of concerned family – I guess they like their python rare. I prefer mine non-existant.
Woman dipping chicken finger in soda
sparks outrage on social media – It wouldn’t bother me, except it wasn’t her soda!
Florida man shot at woman's home
after she wrote bad restaurant review – The food isn’t bad, but apparently the service is awful.
Denver police pursuing former UFC
fighter after his latest knockout – Problem is it was in a bar, not a ring.
Ohio school resource officer used
Taser to wake sleeping student in library – Officer was immediately chastised by a cacophony of
Shushes!
Perfectly-preserved 1,000-year-old
hunter's dart discovered in melting ice – I expect that hundreds of years from now, several
perfectly preserved wiffleballs will be found in Mrs. Rosenthal’s ivy bed.
CBS honcho Les Moonves tried to
destroy Janet Jackson's career after Super Bowl 'Nipplegate' – Such a fuss over a friggin
nipple! I remember this halftime; about
a dozen people at a party all asking, “Was that her titty?” “I’m not sure, maybe…get me a beer willya.”
Connecticut mom suffers 'extreme'
injuries after lighting dynamite she mistook for candle – At least if wasn’t a 30th
birthday party!
Elon Musk says we're probably living
in a simulation – I
still have trouble with long division.
Oxycontin maker
gets patent for drug to treat opioid addiction – They first
drug ya, then they mug ya, and now they un-bug ya…all for a price. Why does fox and chicken coop come to mind?
Good news story of the week:
Firefighters nurse an exhausted Hummingbird
back to health – If this does not
touch your heart, you have no heart.
Come Back Next Week For more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!
Some needed end of the day laughs. And then I shake my head in wonder at some of the stories.
ReplyDeleteArlee Bird
Tossing It Out
No matter what we use, those lawyers just keep coming back. But how in the world could you think a stick of dynamite is a candle.
ReplyDeleteMut have been a slow day at the firehall...thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteI love that head line at the top! I think they've become immune to the spray much like bacteria to antibiotics....
ReplyDeleteGreat story about the hummingbird too. Didn't realize there is a web site that just has good news.
My 13-year-old self appreciates your doo-doo comment. I saw that chicken finger woman story. She needs EVENING from Even Steven!
ReplyDeleteI saw the video of the grandma that took those snakes out of that grill. She was awesome.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
You are saying my lawyer spray doesn't work? Phooey.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love these! Perfect for my Sunday reading pleasure and some hearty laughs. I always knew those bug sprays had limitations on what they could extinguish. If they won't work on lawyers then I guess they wouldn't work in some other settings where there are some bug-types
ReplyDeleteIf they are so upset about dipping chicken fingers in soda, i guess i would have been lynched all those years ago for dipping popcorn in soda. Of course, i always used my own soda.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteActually it's dipping food into sugar water, how bad could that be?
DeleteStrange but true. I saw a video of the grandma snatching the snakes out of the grill.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we could send some of those loaded...ahem..."candles" to all the lawyers for birthday presents? What's the worst that could happen? The candle maker gets sued? By WHO?
ReplyDeleteCome on. . . chickens ain't got fingers. . .
ReplyDeleteAnd everyone knows you can't get rid of lawyers with bug spray. . . You gotta use the industrial-strength Lawyer Spray. . .
Florida man shot at woman's home after she wrote bad restaurant review ... was she, by chance, served chicken fingers in soda?
ReplyDelete