Does EQUAL RIGHTS allow
for EQUAL WRONGS
A cranky opinion for
CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY
The following is the opinion of a
cranky old man with little knowledge about anything he opines. Opposing
opinions are welcome. As usual, please, no name calling, and that
means you, you big stupid-head!
I recently
had a reaction to a news story.
Headline:
Man accused of dining and dashing on
dates pleads not guilty.
Here is the
story; a California man would go on a first date with a woman he met on-line. He took them to dinner and ate
soup to nuts, then, before desert, excused himself to make a phone call and not
return.
The women
were stuck with the check. Eight women
paid and for two, (I am
guessing they did not have cash or credit on them) the restaurant took the hit.
Is the man
guilty or not guilty?
In this
cranky old man’s America, he is guilty as Hell, but in today’s environment…is
he?
It is
probably not that uncommon for a woman to go on a dinner date and before the
meal is done, decides the man is a creep, excuses herself, calls a cab and dashes. Not polite, but if the date makes her
uncomfortable, perfectly understandable.
Can a man do
the same? In this man’s case, clearly
ten times would indicate a scam to get a free meal; but was a meal promised to
his date? Did he simply say “Let’s meet for dinner,” and then
decide this date was going nowhere?
Impolite,
rude for sure, in my mind despicable, but did he break the law?
Does the law
say the man is responsible for dinner on a first date? It may be implied due to social norms, but is
there a liability by law? I don’t think
so.
The news
article claims he is subject to 16 years in jail for theft of service.
I think this
jerk should suffer. Word should get
around on dating apps, put his picture in restaurants, rat him out on Facebook,
Twitter, that Pinterthing and where ever possible. Make his life miserable through social justice,
but jail time for not paying the bill on a date would be a precedent that might
set back woman’s rights a few decades.
If he does
16 years in jail, I wouldn’t give a dang, but for the sake of equality…what do you
think?
The preceding was the opinion of a
cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.
A tricky question and a tricky situation. Once or twice I think maybe he should get away with it, but not ten times, that clearly indicates he's after nothing more than a free feed. I think his name and face should be posted online somewhere so others can be aware and maybe not agree to a dinner date, but go somewhere far cheaper, a burger at Macca's or fish and chips on the beach. At the very least, a place where the food must be paid for up front.
ReplyDeleteClearly there is an element of malfeasance when this scenario is repeated ten times. I would hope there could be a way for the women to recover the cost of his meals and he should be hit with the full force of social media outing. Jail time for being a jerk, though? (Oh, forgive me that.) Better he should be required to work at a soup kitchen for ten days. Jails are overcrowded as it is.
ReplyDeleteAnd in my opinion, which I realize will be in the minority view among my age peers, is that people pay for their own meals unless it is clearly stated, "This is my treat." To just assume that the man is going to pay is sexist. When you seek out dates over social media, it seems to me that you are in effect shopping and shopping generally has a cost attached.
I was floored by this story, yea, the guy's a cad, but sixteen years?? child molesters get less.
ReplyDeleteAt most it should be a misdemeanor, a meal cost doesn't warrant a felony charge. If you date strangers and this is the worst that happens report the guy, take the hit and move on. Oh, maybe his rent is so high he can't pay rent and eat.
Hmmm, the Ladies should pay for their meal, and the restaurant take the hit for his "Theft of service" and he should be liable for breaking the law PLUS social media shaming. I like it!
DeleteI did not mean he shouldn't be charged, just that his punishment should fit the crime, 16 years?? men get less for rapes. It's a new era; if I were online "dating", the first meet wouldn't even be a date, it would be a meet to see if we wanted to date. This would be understood up front and if we went out to dinner it would be dutch treat. As you said women have been doing the ditch the guy for awhile. Can the men now report it and have the women charged? Maybe some kind of breach of contract for not staying through the meal? Use some common sense and don't go on an actual date with someone you've never met in person and realize if you do it's a your own risk.
DeleteI do agree he should be charged but 16 years? This should not have been a date on a first meet, it should have been a meet to see if you want a date; as such it should be dutch treat if any expenses were involved.
DeleteWe agree.
DeleteIf this is not dealt with severely, it will become pay before the food as all fast food places are now. Oh well.
ReplyDeletePosting the face puts liability on the poster, also not good.
Sorry, but none of this is my problem, so I will stay out of it.
I like Joeh's solution!
ReplyDeleteSo do I!!
Delete'Blind dates' seem to be more common today, with online dating. I always thought couples went dutch in these scenarios, so it seems like the guy was taking advantage of women more than anything, because as you stated, most women would then feel obligated to do the right thing and pay for Mr. Dine&Dash.
ReplyDeleteHe's a clod. He's a taker and I'm guessing he's just getting a free meal. California is full of takers. Full.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
In the old days when I was young and dating, the man paid and that was that--now days it is an open ended proposition and often each pays their share. 16 years is such over kill. I like your solution.
ReplyDeleteIf he asked her on a date, it is implied that he is paying. Whoever asks, unless s/he specifies to the contrary, pays.
ReplyDeleteMing’s ideas and yours are the way to go. She pays for her portion, he gets charged with Theft of Service from the restaurant (which is not enough for a felony), and he gets his 15 minutes of fame in a way he really, really doesn’t like which just so happens to leave him a bachelor for the rest of his life.
I would not be offended in paying for my portion of the bill. That guy needs to have probation while he pays back either the restaurant, or the "dates" who paid his part. Maybe with interest.
ReplyDeleteThis fella had it coming for sure, he was a serial cad who swindled women and restaurants. If he had payed at least his side of the bill that would be one thing but he walked out on a financial obligation. He's a common thief and has been treated as such.
ReplyDeleteI'm not gonna go on about the rest, I've always though the automatic presumption of man pays all was silly, whoever made the plans pays unless dutch is specific or the plans are mutual. But I'm not gonna say that.
I am so glad I'm not "out there" dating, dining, dealing with cads like that...
ReplyDeleteWell he's at least liable for his meal. I say slap him with a fine and community service. That service being he has to wash dishes at each place he stood up, say a week (40 hrs) at each place.
ReplyDeleteFree meals are easy to get for someone like him, but if I had been one of the women I would never have agreed to a meal in the first place.
ReplyDeleteHe is a creep. I would suggest that the first date would be for coffee at Starbucks.
ReplyDeleteSince it is normal for women to pay for their meals, the ladies involved here were only partly deceived. I would say that, in a way, they "deserve" it, by engaging in improvised on-line relationships. Haven't their mothers told them to beware of strangers? :-)
ReplyDeleteA facebook/twitter/instagram etc. blind date is not the same as a meeting with a unknown person who is recommended by a friend or relative of yours.
I would like to try and make some funny-as-heck comments as you suggest, so I'm as from to-day following your blog.-