Wednesday, March 29, 2017
I have bad luck with computers. I am on my fourth laptop in six years. One was just old and the battery would not hold a charge…yes even a new one. The plug to the computer from the charger got worn and that connection failed periodically.
The second got a virus and the recovery was almost as expensive as a new computer.
The third, I don’t even remember, it just froze or something and once again repair was too expensive.
So now I am on my fourth. As much as I dislike having to pay when a computer dies, at least they are no longer as expensive as they used to be. The cost hurts a lot, but does not cripple me. What I really hate is breaking in a new computer.
I have to get a new Microsoft Word. I don’t have to pay, but it is a multi-hour process speaking to India to get it set up. I used to just load a disc, but new computers don’t have that disc drive, on account of the “Cloud” or something that I don’t understand.
I need security protection, and that is also paid for but it is another several hours on the phone with India to have it uploaded.
Finally I have to reestablish all my “favorites” and passwords, plus there are always a few files that I was too lazy to backup and they are lost forever.
My newest computer is a Lenovo. It is light, it seems to work fine. I’ve had it for a bit over a year and I am comfortable with it. Until last night.
Last night, Lenny went to sleep while I was watching TV. During a commercial, I tried to wake Lenny up. Lenny would not wake up. The light on the “wake up” button was lit, but Lenny still was on snooze.
I tried all the usual things to wakeup Lenny. I slammed it shut. I flicked the on button about a hundred times. I unplugged the charger and re-plugged it.
I tried swearing and yelling. “FRIGGIN FRAGGLE FLUFFIN!!!”
That only woke up Mrs. C.
“The friggin, fraggle, fluffin computer won’t turn on!”
“Close the cover.”
“Wait ten seconds and then push the button again.”
“I friggin fraggin fluffing DID!!”
“Un-plug the charger and remove the battery, then plug in the charger again.”
“Where is the battery?”
Lenny’s battery is not easily removed. The whole computer cover needs to be removed first to even find the dang thing. Removing the cover requires a Philips head screwdriver the size of a gnat, and the 12 tiny screws look to be especially strippable. I really did not want to go there if I did not have to.
“FRIGGIN FRAZZEN FLUFFLE!!”
“Relax, let me look up Lenovo on Google…OK, it says here this is a common problem with the Lenovo.”
“How do you fix it?”
“It says to unplug it and remove the battery, then plug it in and try to start.”
“Friggin FRAZZEN FLUFFLE!!”
“Why don’t you just push the off button and hold it down for twenty seconds.”
“What good will that do? That’s just dumb.”
“Just try it.”
“Ok…(grumble, mumble, blurbendfloggin) Hey the light went off the power button.”
“OK wait a minute and try to turn it on.”
Tic tock, Tic Tock, Tic Tock… “It’s on!”
“Good night! JERK!!”