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Wednesday, March 29, 2017

*&#^$# COMPUTER!

*&#^$# COMPUTER!

I have bad luck with computers.  I am on my fourth laptop in six years.  One was just old and the battery would not hold a charge…yes even a new one.  The plug to the computer from the charger got worn and that connection failed periodically.

The second got a virus and the recovery was almost as expensive as a new computer.

The third, I don’t even remember, it just froze or something and once again repair was too expensive.

So now I am on my fourth.  As much as I dislike having to pay when a computer dies, at least they are no longer as expensive as they used to be.  The cost hurts a lot, but does not cripple me.  What I really hate is breaking in a new computer.

I have to get a new Microsoft Word.  I don’t have to pay, but it is a multi-hour process speaking to India to get it set up.  I used to just load a disc, but new computers don’t have that disc drive, on account of the “Cloud” or something that I don’t understand. 

I need security protection, and that is also paid for but it is another several hours on the phone with India to have it uploaded. 

Finally I have to reestablish all my “favorites” and passwords, plus there are always a few files that I was too lazy to backup and they are lost forever.

My newest computer is a Lenovo.  It is light, it seems to work fine.  I’ve had it for a bit over a year and I am comfortable with it.  Until last night.

Last night, Lenny went to sleep while I was watching TV.  During a commercial, I tried to wake Lenny up.  Lenny would not wake up.  The light on the “wake up” button was lit, but Lenny still was on snooze.

I tried all the usual things to wakeup Lenny.  I slammed it shut.  I flicked the on button about a hundred times.  I unplugged the charger and re-plugged it.


I tried swearing and yelling.  “FRIGGIN FRAGGLE FLUFFIN!!!”

That only woke up Mrs. C.

“What’s wrong?”

“The friggin, fraggle, fluffin computer won’t turn on!”

“Close the cover.”

“I did.”

“Wait ten seconds and then push the button again.”

“I did.”

“Un-plut the…”

“I friggin fraggin fluffing DID!!”

“Un-plug the charger and remove the battery, then plug in the charger again.”

“Where is the battery?”

Lenny’s battery is not easily removed.  The whole computer cover needs to be removed first to even find the dang thing.  Removing the cover requires a Philips head screwdriver the size of a gnat, and the 12 tiny screws look to be especially strippable.  I really did not want to go there if I did not have to.


“Relax, let me look up Lenovo on Google…OK, it says here this is a common problem with the Lenovo.”

“How do you fix it?”

“It says to unplug it and remove the battery, then plug it in and try to start.”


“Why don’t you just push the off button and hold it down for twenty seconds.”

“What good will that do?  That’s just dumb.”

“Just try it.”

“Ok…(grumble, mumble, blurbendfloggin) Hey the light went off the power button.”

“OK wait a minute and try to turn it on.”

Tic tock, Tic Tock, Tic Tock… “It’s on!”

“Good night! JERK!!”


  1. Glad to hear you'll be able to nurse your Lenovo a while longer. I's a hassle to change to a new 'puter for sure. I know they cost more, but my luck with Apples has been...NO, I'm not going to jinx myself by saying it, but you know what I mean. :)

    1. Apple owners are so smug! When Apple has 90% of the PC market, the hackers will switch.

      I've known people who have had issues with Apple also.

    2. Ummm....I think it has more to do with the operating system, Joe.

  2. And for next time, if holding the power button forever doesn't do the deal many Lenovo's have a reset button that you can use a pin or needle to click.

  3. Well, there you go - in business again!

  4. Welcome to my nightmare. Our IT team is in India (its an Indian company I work for, bought out when it was an American company). I absolutely dread having to call there if there is a problem with anything with my computer, etc. One time the technician had the gall to say to me "you aren't listening to me" when he was trying to tell me what to do. I'm so computer illiterate. I really do try to follow what they are telling me to do. From what I understand, they have been trained (at least for this particular company) to make sure they are somewhat kind to women as I believe women are not really treated kindly there.

    That aside, I'm glad that you were able to get your computer to un-freeze and to start to work again. We love them until they don't work and they we usually want a very quick fix.


  5. Holding down the power button forces a full shutdown, so when you turn on again it has to wake up. It's my go-to answer for several problems. Shut it down, walk away, come back and turn it on again. I had that 'wake up' light problem with my Toshiba and thought I had a virus so called in the computer doc, $300 later he tells me there's nothing wrong except the hard drive is confusing shut down and sleeping, nothing can be done about that. She still has other problems associated with aging though, so I got this new one which I'm hating with a passion, but at least it works. Anyway, the whole point of my comment is thanks for the heads up with that being a common Lenovo problem. I was considering a Lenovo when shopping for this monster, but couldn't afford one. I've since learned that Lenovo is made by Toshiba, it's their "cheap-end" product as opposed to the high-end super-duper gaming laptops they are making at enormous cost.

  6. Sounds so familiar. About five years ago I finally had HAD enough of viruses and computer failures and all that you are describing...and I bought a MAC. I know, I know...people have issues with Apple, too. But not me. For me, it's been easy-breezy and five of my kids have MAC laptops, and we have a MAC computer set up in our media area that is about 5 years old and has never had an issue, and I have a MAC laptop and it's about 3 years old now and I have never had an issue. Never having issues with so many computers and laptops in this house....verses countless issues with my PC way back when....well, to me there's no way I'd ever go back to a PC with all the viruses. And maybe one day the hackers will get to the Apples. But until that day comes, I'm sticking with my MAC's.

  7. I know the feeling.... and how. Just recently had to buy a new computer, although in my case the guy at the shop did it all for me. They don't make them like they used to.... obviously. I've heard that a Mac is the better option.

  8. And here I thought computers were supposed to make life easier?

  9. Trust me, i understand. We are going to have to get a new one soon, too, and i'm dreading it.

  10. I guess I should speak more kindly to my laptop. It has some weird quirks but at least it hasn't died on me lol. You know, I can decode swear code....I think I may have said something the same a few times over here.

  11. Perhaps you need your wife to turn on and off your computer. She seems to know all the tricks. I hate computer issues too.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

  12. Replies
    1. OK, you and Scott have convinced me I will toss my current computer and go buy an Apple...while I'm at it I plan to junk my Jeep and buy a BMW, I hear they are very nice cars.

    2. If I knew how to drive and could afford a car, a BMW would be my first choice.

  13. I have a Lenova and I know you may not believe this, but the exact same thing happened to me and the solution was the exact same!!

  14. Often it seems that we're at the mercy of our electronics. Humanity went a thousand years with only three inventions and I find it hard keeping up with all the technological advancements. I'm one of the lucky ones because our sin is a computer guy and he keeps things running smoothly.

  15. You know your brother-in-law works in the IT industry and could probably help you out..

    Just sayin...

  16. My 60 inch plasma television quit operating recently and I was moaning to my wife how it was only four years old and cost me a thousand bucks back when I had some money. She said, "well that's only 250 dollars a year or about 20 dollars a month." Where does it say that wives get to be smarter about these things than we men are?

  17. Oh I feel your pain. It has been a while since I've broken in a new one but it is a maddening process and you never forget the misery. So glad Mrs. C's magic worked for you.

  18. If you weren't married to Mrs. C you'd probably spend the rest of your life on the phone with India!!

  19. So glad I have a computer-engineering son to take care of my computing needs. Oh...and he has a MAC. It's never given him any trouble except when a housemate spilled coffee on it.

  20. i am glad and grateful that i am blessed with computer engineer son who whenever we meet resolve all the problems we loaded during his absence .
    mine is third and Ell ,it is taking it's last breathes as his graphic card is dead.but still it is on i don't no when suddenly it will refuse to open it's eyes some day.
    enjoyed your story and so true that it is long and hectic to install all the stuff to put soul into it .

  21. I have read all of your wonderful comments so I don't know if anyone suggest you buy an Apple. If not here goes...BUY AN APPLE COMPUTER. They last forever (cost less in the end), don't need virus protection and usually turn on. I'm just saying!

    I hope you give Lenny a decent burial...I suggest under the cactus plant.

    1. OK I read your comments...and I am hardly smug at all. :)

  22. My husband has to do all of the set up stuff for my computer. He has figured out it's easier to do it himself than to fix me trying to do it. Maybe you can get Mrs. C to take over for you.

  23. My computer replacement seriously went down once all of the kids were out of the house and now all of my kids are computer snobs and they constantly trash on my Dell. My Dell that I've had no problems with for the past almost 4 years as I watch them replace theirs.. :)

  24. You're lucky Mrs. Cranky is a computer expert!

    I'm on my first laptop (had desktops before that), and it's about two years old now. So far, so good.

  25. I felt your pain until I got a Mac. They do have problems occasionally but mine does a backup every hour automatically. If my laptop were to die, I could get a new one and restore my stuff in a few hours.
    They are more expensive but I've learned it's cheaper in the long run.


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