Stupid Headlines 031917
It’s time again for
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Research also shows that food is a gateway drug for fat people
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STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Dick's to Cut Unpopular Brands From
Stores – Two words that should never appear in the
same sentence. Actually three words,
that branding thing is worrisome too.
Amazon Finds the Cause of Its Outage:
A Typo – Crap, now
I’m worried…I’m type O!
University launches Biden research
and policy institute –
This is ridiculous! The guy prided himself
on being an everyday working class “Joe”.
How complicated could he be to need a university institute to research
him.
California elementary school bans
'tag' after it got too rough – TAG IS TOO ROUGH? We played kick-ball at recess, and if you
forgot to wear a cup, THAT was rough!
Florida neighborhood on alert for
escaped cobra – It
was last seen slithering south on Elm Street.
MUIRFIELD GOLF CLUB VOTES TO ADMIT
WOMEN FOR THE 1ST TIME IN ITS HISTORY – They can’t play on the course, but the members did finally
admit that there are women.
Substitute allegedly brought boxed
wine to school, vomited in class – Perhaps you can’t prove she had boxed wine, but how do you
allegedly vomit in class? There had to
be witnesses.
Jared Fogle’s prison attacker regrets
nothing – As
despicable as that child molesting scumbag is, there is no excuse for attacking
him. That prisoner ought to go to jail. Oh, wait!
Saudi woman who faced death threats
for removing hijab could get lashed instead – And I thought not allowing kids to
play tag was unreasonable.
Woman drives vehicle through jail
lobby doors – A good
way to get In-car- serrated.
Engineer Creates Sex Robot That Needs
To Be Romanced First – Hell, might as well date a real woman!
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And the feel-good story of the week:
McDonald’s Employee Pedro Viloria
Jumps Through Drive-Thru Window To Save Police Officer’s Life - Believe it or not, this week’s
Feel-good story is from (drum roll) FLORIDA!!
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Come Back Next Week For
More
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
That was one quick thinking McDonalds employee. Now if they could only get your order straight.
ReplyDeleteListen, I'm an engineer, and I know we've got this reputation for being socially-inept nerds. . . But I'm wondering - if this guy is making a sex robot, how the hell does he even know what 'romancing' is? Dude, just stop. You're making the rest of us look even more clueless than we already are. . .
ReplyDeleteI love the headlines, but your additions make them even better.
ReplyDeleteI linked you to Silly Sunday as always.
Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
Pretty sure Biden research is to find out how a guy could be in politics most of his life and still be a nice guy.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the positive Florida story. It isn't easy being a Florida transplant these days.
Wow. I hope that school finds something fo0r the kids to do that is less rough than tag.
ReplyDeleteYour sophomoric comments were exemplary today!
ReplyDeleteWe played kickball on a blacktop playground with potholes in it, and a lot of loose gravel sprinkled around. We would have had better traction on ice.
It is nice the golf club will finally admit there are women, since i'm pretty sure all of the members had mothers.
ReplyDelete"University launches Biden research and policy institute" This is is probably fake because it would be a good idea. Joe Biden was absolutely wrong about every policy he ever had and young students should be taught what not to think.
ReplyDeleteSo many good ones here. You really have a talent for writing these. As for me, food has definitely been a gateway drug.
ReplyDeleteHar-har. Thanks for your ever cleverness. This stuff is great.
ReplyDeleteSnort snort :)
ReplyDelete