Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Mrs. C complains that I yell a lot. I say I just raise my voice to make a point, besides I have a lot of years of pent up voice raising to get out. In a previous life voice raising was not allowed, well it was not allowed by me. There is something therapeutic about…raising your voice.
Still, I deny that I raise my voice that much.
Since Mrs. C has complained about my voice raising, I have pointed out how often she yells…at me. She claims that she only yells because I provoke her.
Now, whenever I raise my voice Mrs. C simply looks at me and says, “Yelling!”
Of course, I retaliate and when I catch her raising her voice I calmly point out, “Yelling.”
She generally responds with, “Provoking,” as she claims she only yells because I provoke her, this is often followed by a nipple twist which results in serious “Yelling!” by me.
“That’s not fair, that hurts, and you were yelling.”
“You’re making comments about how I arrange my pillows is PROVOKING!” (She does have a pillow routine which is a bit OCD.)
“That’s not provoking, that’s just a loving tease.”
“It’s provoking if I say it’s provoking.”
“But you can’t twist my nipples, that hurts and you know I can’t hurt you back.”
“I can and I will.”
“But it really hurts!”
“Then stop provoking!”
“I’m not provoking!”
“Ouch, that hurts!”
I tell you it’s like wearing a shock collar. I raise my voice, she says, “Yelling” and I get a nipple twist.
I don’t know why a Labrador Retriever can learn to stay inside an invisible fence, and I can’t learn to stop…raising my voice, but then she does so many things that deserve provoking, er, I mean a loving tease.