Yelling

Yelling

Mrs. C complains that I yell a lot.  I say I just raise my voice to make a point, besides I have a lot of years of pent up voice raising to get out.  In a previous life voice raising was not allowed, well it was not allowed by me.  There is something therapeutic about…raising your voice.

Still, I deny that I raise my voice that much.

Since Mrs. C has complained about my voice raising, I have pointed out how often she yells…at me.  She claims that she only yells because I provoke her.

Now, whenever I raise my voice Mrs. C simply looks at me and says, “Yelling!”

Of course, I retaliate and when I catch her raising her voice I calmly point out, “Yelling.”

She generally responds with, “Provoking,” as she claims she only yells because I provoke her, this is often followed by a nipple twist which results in serious “Yelling!” by me.

“That’s not fair, that hurts, and you were yelling.”

“You’re making comments about how I arrange my pillows is PROVOKING!” (She does have a pillow routine which is a bit OCD.)

“That’s not provoking, that’s just a loving tease.”

“It’s provoking if I say it’s provoking.” 

“But you can’t twist my nipples, that hurts and you know I can’t hurt you back.”

“I can and I will.”

“But it really hurts!”

“Then stop provoking!”

“I’m not provoking!”

“Yelling!”

“Ouch, that hurts!”

I tell you it’s like wearing a shock collar.  I raise my voice, she says, “Yelling” and I get a nipple twist.

I don’t know why a Labrador Retriever can learn to stay inside an invisible fence, and I can’t learn to stop…raising my voice, but then she does so many things that deserve provoking, er, I mean a loving tease.