DUDE I CAN DO THAT
Thus cranky re-run is from March 2013
There are certain things that every young man thinks he can do and do really well. Experience should tell most people that if you haven’t tried something or if you only tried something a few times you will probably not be very good at it. This fact of life is true for all but several areas. There are some things that for some reason every dude under the age of 28 thinks they can do really well.
There is something manly or macho about these events that young men will never admit they cannot do them well. All young dudes think they can:
Hold their liquor – You will never hear a twenty year old dude say, “Better water that down a bit, I can’t hold my liquor.”
The truth is, most young men cannot hold their liquor and they don’t know how to drink. The average college age kid cannot drink fast enough. He is in a hurry to get loaded. The result is they are sober and then the booze all kicks in at once. These kids go from sober to bombed in a short time. They experience black-outs and are capable of being incredibly stupid.
Dude save yourself headaches and pain, do yourself a favor and admit, you don’t know how to drink! When it comes to holding your liquor YOU SUCK!
Shoot pool – This is a phenomenon for which I have no explanation. Very few people can really shoot a good game of pool. A real pool player can do things with a cue ball that are astonishing. For some reason all young dudes think they can play this game, and a good player can act like he stinks and is really just lucky. This is why pool is the ultimate hustle game for money. Give the young shark a few drinks which he will not admit he cannot hold, put some money on the table and a real player will take a young buck for all his bucks.
Dude, you may know the rules, you may have won a few games of eightball, but as a real pool player, YOU SUCK!
This man will take your money
Play poker – Like pool, poker is very complicated and difficult to master, yet is easy to play, can be macho in its nature and is a game that all young men think they are really good at playing. There are lots of people who take advantage of this fact and they never have to work.
Dude, you may think you can play poker, but as soon as real money hits the table you are going to became very unlucky. Actually it is not luck; dude YOU SUCK!
The odds are this guy is going home with your money
Making Love – The young man has not yet been born who will admit that when it comes to sex they do not have a clue. When it comes to sex it is not just young men, all men think they are experts in bed.
Dude, you thought you could hold your liquor and you ended up hugging the toilet bowl.
Dude, you thought you could shoot pool and you lost your shirt.
Dude, you pushed all-in and you ended up all-out.
You suck at drinking, you suck at pool, you suck at poker; ten guesses at how good you probably are in bed.
That’s right; same as me…Freaking awesome!
Picture removed ...(it wasn't pretty)