STOP HOVERING
The other day Mrs. C and I left for some shopping chores. We left at the same time the school bus was unloading children in our townhouse community. We are responsible citizens, when there is a school bus stopped, we stop and wait for the children to empty and go on their way and the bus to turn off its flashers before we move on.
I wish parents would be just as responsible.
The children poured out of the bus and anxious parents were dutifully waiting for them.
My first thought was why are parents waiting for their children. These kids all live a block or less from where the bus lets them off. There is very little traffic in our little enclave, and there are 6 speed bumps on the four block long road, so speeding is impossible.
Why can’t the children make it home all by themselves, or at a minimum with the assistance of some of the older children?
A million years ago, I walked to and from kindergarten by myself. It was about five blocks away. I don’t remember a single parent leading or following their child to school. Of course there were crossing guards at every corner, parents weren’t stupid.
But OK, times have changed, parents are nervous, and the news is rife with stories of bad actors and drunk drivers. It is fine for the parents to walk their children where ever they go, but the pebble in my shoe was how they did it.
These parents took their time crossing the street. They not only took their time, but several stopped in the middle of the street to cuddle their child, and to tuck in their shirts or wipe smutz off their little faces…IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET! WHILE CARS WERE WAITING FOR THEM TO CROSS!!
No wonder children no longer know how to cross a street, their parents don’t even know how to cross a street. I’ve seen these kids look both ways and then saunter across the street even though a car is coming.
Fine, you taught them to look both ways, but you neglected to tell them not to cross if they see a car, and to run not walk when they do cross.
I know, I am old, I am cranky. Times have changed. My grandparents probably complained that children no longer were taught how to gut a deer or make their own shoes. But for God sake, let them walk home alone, and teach them how to cross a damn street.
Hell if they make it home OK, give them a trophy, what do I care.
Every time I mention how kids should be able to do certain things by themselves, I get it from the younger generation about how times have changed. Yes, times have changed. Now, we have everyone putting everything on the media. We didn't have so much of that when we were young. Not that things didn't happen then, they did, but we weren't a generation to grow up in fear. I think the children of today are being affected by all this coddling.
ReplyDeleteI know they always say that. "Times have changed."
ReplyDeleteI know.
But it wasn't all that long ago that I was left to get to and from school on my own. We didn't come directly home and we did things that any responsible parent would hate and not a darn thing ever happened to any of us.
I am younger than you, but violent crime is actually down since you were a kid and it's down from when I was a kid.
Kids should figure some stuff out on their own. They might even turn out better than their parents.
really interesting write up !
ReplyDeletesecond last para made me laugh .
reminded me time when my[late] mom used to sit on a hill top to watch us while walking to our school which was at the other down side of the hill .then it was so scary to send girls alone for school as hill had lots of high tree like bushes and me and my sister were the only girl who were sent to school as only boys were allowed to go.
I agree with you and everyone. Kids should be allowed to go it alone but I'm afraid it's too late. When I was a kid, back in ancient times, I hated it when my mother walked me to school. I felt as if I was being pampered and hated what my friends would think when they saw I had an escort Yes, times have changed.
ReplyDeleteI can't even teach my daughter to put the toilet seat down ...
ReplyDeleteSeat etiquette should be part of the original toilet training regime. It may not be too late, depends how old your daughter is now.
DeleteChildren have been snatched from their own front yards with older children in attendance and parents just on the other side of the front door so I DO understand why children are not allowed to walk even a few blocks from the bus stop on their own or with other children. I do agree that parents do not seem to be teaching their children anything these days from how to properly cross a street, where to ride their bike and to respect the property of others. When this generation of 'helicopter parents' dies how are these young folks ever going to manage?
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ReplyDeleteThe school bus used to drop off kids at the little library where I volunteered before I moved to a condo. Sometimes parents would be browsing in the library and then suddenly run out in near panic because the bus had already pulled up. I found out that if a parent was not at the bus stop, the child would not be allowed off the bus but would be taken back to the school and the parent notified to come pick up the child there.
ReplyDeleteI am glad I grew up in the "Where did you go? Out. What did you do? Nothing" days.
I do believe that for us it was the best of times...
ReplyDeleteParents should be more responsible, especially when it influences their children to act likewise! I enjoyed reading your post.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.
Yep, these kids today, with their hair, and their music.....seems I heard all this before, about 50 years ago from my dad.
ReplyDeleteExcept this post is addressing parents, not the kids, but otherwise, yeah.
DeleteHelicopter parents, hovering, taking all the initiative, no wonder kids grow up knowing nothing.
ReplyDeleteYou have to let kids learn things. If they don't well you have a bunch of kids that know how to do nothing.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
If I had a small child I'd walk with them to school. Our streets just aren't safe anymore. Too many children disappear walking to and from school. Very sad.
ReplyDeleteIn the olden days, when parents felt safe in letting their very young children walk to school & back alone, my parents were babysitting our 7 or 8 year old daughter while we were on a trip. They became quite worried when one day she was over a half hour late in getting home from school. When she finally got home, they asked her why she was so late. Our daughter always had a very logical brain. She told them she had taken a “long” cut.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it. Or how about those children who walk with their parents in a parking lot - right smack dab in the middle, where you have to stop and wait for them.
ReplyDeleteFunny really.I see so many parents out to dinner as a family - all sitting there, each with their phone, not paying attention to their children, yet they don't let the kids walk home from school or the bus stop. Heck, if they did, they could use that time,to catch up using the phone and then pay good attention to their kids at dinner.
If I get stuck behind the Pine Island school bus in the morning, it takes like an extra 20 minutes for me to get to work. Because instead of having all the little children gather at one or two bus stops, the bus stops at
ReplyDeleteEVERY
SINGLE
EFFING
DRIVEWAY.
I started getting the bus at age 3. I started walking two streets over to get the bus at age 6. It's a wonder I'm still alive!
What I don't understand are the parents who sit in their cars at the bus stop, and then drive their kids home, 4 driveways away . . . In 60 degree skies of blue.
ReplyDeleteStopping in the middle of the street?? what the hell people? Get off the road! Teach your children proper road safety.
ReplyDeleteI remember walking to and from school, I think I was in first grade, my older sister walked with me and we had to cross a main city street in Adelaide, the school being in the next suburb and probably a dozen blocks away.
There is always the "stranger danger" factor though, perhaps parents don't let their kids walk alone because they may never see them again.
If I were a parent today, I'd helicopter. There are too many pedophiles today that look absolutely normal.
ReplyDeleteI remember when I was 7, and walked to school because I WANTED to, rather than walk a block in the other direction to catch the bus. It took the same amount of time to get there. So in nice weather, we took the back alleys on foot.
ReplyDeleteIf I lived in that same neighborhood, I'd probably have let my boys walk to school. Not in the city, though.
I know your feeling, Joe.
ReplyDeleteCareful what you advocate, parents are getting cited and arrested for letting their children walk places or play in the park. Hell, there was one mother arrested for letting her child PLAY IN THE FRONT YARD!! And it's often OUR nasty-ass generation calling these heinous things in. Someone's gotta fix the insanity but the answer doesn't involve chastising parents for walking their children around.
ReplyDeleteStoppin and fussing in the middle of the street, however? Yeah, that ought a get reported and stopped ....
It's all a mess with no easy solution. You let your child play in the yard, you get in trouble because you aren't monitoring their every move. You don't let your kid play in the yard, you get in trouble because how can they learn anything if you do monitor their every move.
ReplyDeleteI rode a bike to school which was about 1/2 mile away. Even the most protective parents back then just sent their kids on their way and never thought any more about it. Simpler times.
ReplyDeleteOlga is right. I'd forgotten about the bus driver looking for a parent at the bus stop. Most of the moms and dads use it as socializing time; however, wear it as a badge of hovering honor for being a good parent. It's always a competition.
ReplyDeleteI, as the parent, lived on a corner, so kid #1 was basically let off at the house. Eventually, I nixed the chatting and waited at the door. But, at least one day a week, I'd forget her until I heard the sound of the doorbell that woke me from my exhaustion induced nap on the couch caused by breastfeeding an infant and taking care of her 2 year old toddler sister.
My kids never rode the school bus; we always were within the limits of either walking or dropping them off. Not sure if I would have hovered or not with that, but have hovered on other things (still hovering at times and the son just turned 28).
ReplyDeletebetty
Like other commenters have said, I would pick my kid up from a bus stop because other parents might call the police or social services. Seems to be the thing to do these days.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know how to gut a deer? Sad.
ReplyDeleteI get what you mean. When we are in charge of our great nieces and nephews, we tend to hover.
R
Picking kids up from the bus? I can see that.
ReplyDeleteSlowly sauntering across the street while cars are waiting? I'd probably start honking my horn.
I get why parents walk with their children. I have no problem with that but the dawdling? Yeah no. I walked with my kids but I was like a drill sargent hustling them across the street because people were waiting to get on their way. I hustle across streets and parking lots all the time because I think it's a courtesy for drivers to stop for me, stop sign or not. They could just as easily drive right on thru.
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