Scissors
My wife is not difficult to live with, but she does require some adjustments. She can be a bit quirky.
For instance; scissors.
We have a pair of scissors in every room of the house. Apparently you never know when you might need scissors RIGHT AWAY!
In the kitchen we have two pairs of scissors. One pair is only for cutting poultry, one pair is for paper and stuff. When I needed scissors to cut suckers out of my tomato plants, I quickly found out that vegetation does not count as stuff.
“Don’t use those scissors for yard work! We have a pair in the garage for yard work.”
I used the garage scissors for my tomatoes, and then put those scissors away in MYbarbeque stuff kitchen drawer instead of putting them back in the garage. I was going to use these scissors often and the garage is a long way from my tomato plants.
The other day Mrs. C asks, “Where are the garage scissors?”
“In my BBQ drawer, I use them all the time.”
“They belong in the garage; I need them there.”
So now the scissors I use almost every day for plants right outside our back door reside in the garage 20 yards away, through two doors and I have to first go outside to get to them.
The other day while searching frantically through every drawer in the house looking for my lost golf GPS thingy, I found a third pair of scissors in the kitchen. These scissors were buried underneath assorted stuff. I unburied them and thought great, now there are three scissors in the kitchen. One for poultry, one for paper and stuff, and a third pair for cutting the suckers out of my tomato plants.
Maybe not.
Mrs. C just opened that drawer today.
“What are these scissors doing out in the open?”
“I found them the other day, I unburied them so I can use them on the tomatoes.”
“Not these scissors, they are good scissors, you’ll ruin them…that’s why I hid them!”
“Well what are they for then? You already have two pairs of scissors in the kitchen and a pair in every other room in the house?”
“Never mind. They are the good scissors and not for you to use.”
“So along with the “Good Towels” that we are not allowed to use and the “Sea Shell” soap the we are not allowed to use; we now have the “Good Scissors?”
“Yes! Don’t be a jerk. Leave them alone.”
I’m going to buy my own pair of scissors and put them in the BBQ drawer, and no one else better use them!
It is easier to adjust than to figure her out.
*A cranky re-run from September 2016
I was going to suggest buying your own scissors for gardening, but you worked it out yourself :)
ReplyDeleteYou would be better off keeping a pair of scissors in your trouser pocket. Actually, I am the same as Mrs C. Scissors everywhere and who betide anyone who moves them. For outside garden work I keep a pair of scissors in a waterproof bag, right where I might need them. They were never found by hubby.
ReplyDeleteSo funny. As I've gotten older, I decided to start using all those special things. I figure if I don't, the kids will just throw them out. Good luck with your scissors.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up I am pretty sure there was one pair of scissors in our house and they were always "missing." I totally understand the need to have scissors in every room.
ReplyDeleteNOW you're catching on.
ReplyDeleteThe right tool for the right job!
ReplyDeleteI have the scissor compulsion also. I rank them up there with flashlights as needing to be immediately handy and each has a purpose. I have one hanging from a nail on my porch handy for deadheading.
ReplyDeleteWith three guys in the house, I pretty much gave up on having scissors. It was like trying to keep a pet bunny in a house full of magicians. The pair in the kitchen was subjected to many atrocities worse than tomato-trimming. Like stripping wire, cutting metal, and removing matted dog fur. I can only hope they were not used for...um...very personal grooming.
ReplyDeleteWe/I have scissors in nearly every room. That does not include my quilting scissors.
ReplyDeletedecades ago, my daughter used my rotary cutter (quilting, $$) to cut pizza. I remind her of this often, now that she sews.
You more than deserve your own pair of scissors and i hope you get them. In fact, i hope you get two or three pair.
ReplyDeleteI too am a bit of a scissor freak. Nothing worse than needing a pair of scissors and having to search all around the house so, like your wife, I keep scissors in various drawers. It's not as if they're expensive items so it makes sense. Now, if only you could persuade the husband that if uses a pair of scissors he should put them back into the same drawer he found them, that would great!
ReplyDeleteYou'll run into the same situation if you come to my house too! Bring your own scissors, plus you might want to put your name on them. Scissors are meant for different things and having good paper cutting ones means they shouldn't be used for anything else. I sure don't want you using my kitchen shears for anything other than my kitchen stuff.
ReplyDeleteDo you ever trim your own hair - you know just the rogue hairs that might appear, not a total official haircut? You could use your own scissors for that, too. "Look at that, it cuts hair AND tomatoes!"
ReplyDelete