TROUBLES, We’ve GOT
TROUBLES
A Cranky Opinion For
CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY
The following is the opinion of a
cranky old man who is a few brain cells away from being an idiot. Opposing opinions are welcome, but are
wrong. As always, please, no name
calling and that means you, you big stupid head!
We’ve got
troubles in this country. Louisiana is
under water. California is burning. Black people in Milwaukee are beating up
white people because a black policeman shot a black citizen who was aiming a black
gun at the policeman's head. We have
underemployment problems, we have high taxes, we have high crime, we have fear
of Zika and we have an infrastructure that is falling apart. Troubles, we’ve got troubles. Thank God we have politicians. In New Jersey our politicians are looking to right
a serious wrong.
On our sea
shore boardwalks and other arcades, the proud state of New Jersey has claw
machines. These are games where a
customer pays a quarter for the chance to win a $500 PlayStation XXVI through
his skill at maneuvering a claw pickup machine.
It turns out
that this is very difficult. The claw
machine proprietors have programmed the machines so that it is difficult to win
a $500 game for a quarter…who knew.
Our law
makers in New Jersey have vowed to right this wrong and are passing a law to
make the claw machine easier to conquer.
These are
the same politicians who years ago decided that as a ten-year-old, I shouldn’t
be able to win free games on a pinball machine…that would be gambling. Gambling is bad. Then these same politicians decided that it
was a good idea to put casinos in Atlantic City. Suddenly gambling is good. Well it is good for the politicians who get
to spend the revenue it brings to the state…I don’t know where that money goes;
to schools they said, to bring down property taxes they said. I don’t know, the schools seem about the same
only more expensive and property taxes are about the same only much higher.
A year or so
back these politicians decided that casino gambling would be even better if it
was allowed on-line. Apparently it is
not enough for degenerate, gambling addicted patrons to lose their savings and
their homes to the Casinos, they needed to be able to do it on-line, because
that couldn’t be addicting, what could go wrong?
Well now the
politicians who made free games on pinball machines illegal, made casinos legal
and made on-line gambling also legal are going to solve all our problems by
making the arcade claw game pay out at a more favorable rate. That should be easy to regulate (not), and so
important. I feel much safer.
Louisiana is
under water. California is burning. Black people in Milwaukee are beating up
white people because a black policeman shot a black citizen who was aiming a black
gun at the policeman's head. We have
underemployment problems, we have high taxes, we have high crime, we have fear
of Zika and we have an infrastructure that is falling apart.
At least in
New Jersey our politicians are looking to make this a better world. God willing, they will pass laws that make it
easier to win a PlayStation XXVI in an arcade claw machine.
The preceding has been the opinion of
a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.
Yes the world is batshit crazy at the moment...but I think it has been that way since the beginning of time. At least we survived 80s fashion!
ReplyDeleteNone of those gambling issues affect me, because I'm not a gambler, but I can see how they would be troublesome for those who are addicted. not for the government of course, they're only addicted to the revenue raised.
ReplyDeleteJerks.
ReplyDeleteI wonder which lawmaker's kid lost his quarter trying for the game?
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I think the only sane people are us (and I'm not too sure about you.)
What about those quarter-pushing machines? FIX THEM! It should be easier to knock a bunch of quarters off the edge.
ReplyDeleteI was just going to say this!!!! ha. I get hooked on them every time!
DeleteWould they had stopped at pinball and claw machines. Legalized gambling has ruined a lot of innocent people.
ReplyDeleteUmmm. It is Friday... Can't think about any of this until tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteThe world is indeed batshit crazy. We are allowing it too.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
Good to know they are working on the important things. And we keep electing them. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteUnless the claws are actually attacking people, I can't imagine why there would need to be any regulation of arcade claw machines.
ReplyDelete(By the way, if the claws DO start attacking people, I really want to see youtube clips of it.)
I haven't read ALL of your posts, but I've still gotta say this has to be one of your best. Beautifully well-written, and man oh man, is it ever true.
ReplyDeleteGod knows, Georgia is plagued with a boatload of problems, but that doesn't prevent our "esteemed" law-makers from putting all of their feeble-minded attention on stooooopid stuff, like the "official state drink" or some other such crap. "Fixing" non-existent issues, and ignoring the real ones.
As for claw machines? There used to be a restaurant nearby that had a claw machine set-up with live lobsters inside. Yeah... live lobsters. Anyone, anyone who snagged one of those lobsters could have it cooked... for free. There were a couple of Japanese guys in there one night who must have spent at least a hundred bucks trying to get one of those "free" lobsters. Needless to say, lobster was available on the menu for a heckuva lot less than that. We tried to tell them... but they were determined. They left without their lobster, and with a lot less money in their wallets.
Snort snort :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear that New Jersey's lawmakers have their priorities straight---NOT!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what's worse....that they waste time/taxpayer $ on crap like this or that they get perks like free haircuts and parking. All paid by taxpayers.
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with THOSE people?
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong is that someone keeps electing them. Not me, i vote, but almost never for the incumbents.
ReplyDeleteI'm smiling through my tears (with clenched teeth). How did we get here? Who can stop the wackiness?
ReplyDeleteMustn't ignore your governor who made it possible for another unnamed politician to pay off a casino debt of 30 mil with a mere 5 mil. It must be good to be a politician.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
ReplyDeleteI love you for this post, even though you made my blood pressure go up about 10 points.
ReplyDeleteI personally wouldn't mind it if the claw machines were left "rigged" as long as they served us free drinks while we pumped quarters in. ;)
ReplyDeleteI might just have to move to New Jersey if it would be easier to win something in that claw game. I've yet to win anything after years of feeding the machine with quarters.
ReplyDeletebetty
What we need is a giant claw machine that will pick our next representatives. We can put them all in one giant machine and let the claw descend down on them and pluck one up from the group -- and there you go! I think that would work better than elections. We can't seem to pick them anymore, so might as well let The Claw choose.
ReplyDeleteI don't go a bundle on our lot either.... I think Katrina has the right idea.
ReplyDeleteIt never ceases to amazes me the amount of time, money and energy that is put toward such bullshit in this country. As you said, Lousianna is under water, etc.,etc. I just don't get it. I suspect I never will.
ReplyDelete