THE HELL OUT OF GOVERNMENT
|This cranky re-run is from August 2012|
The FFRF, the Freedom From Religion Foundation, based in Madison, Wisconsin has been in the news a lot lately. They object to a city logo which has the outline of a church incorporated in their montage of landmarks. They object to a Texas church feeding meals to the local high school football team before their games. They are objecting to anything that smacks of violating the constitutional doctrine of separation of church and state.
I whole-heartedly support this organization. If we allow religion to creep into our government run organizations and public property, the future of this country is in jeopardy. I think that the FFRF has not gone far enough. Religion has too much control of our state run institutions.
The following are examples of where religion must be weeded from the fabric of our country’s life and or changes which the FFRF should demand:
“In God We trust” must be removed from our money. I suggest, “In Greed We Trust.”
Witnesses in court should no longer be sworn in on the Holy Bible. I suggest they put their hand on a one-hundred dollar bill and say, “Trust me!”
No religious dress or symbols should be allowed in government buildings. This would include crosses, shirts with a collar (too much like a priest or minister) yamakas, burkas, etc.
Churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples should be denied services from state institutions such as the police and fire departments.
Football is practically a religion in many towns…this sport should not be supported or allowed in public schools.
Many religions believe in the importance of education of their youth; schools should not be allowed to teach.
Religious Funeral processions should not be allowed on public streets.
Stop lights need to be changed during the Winter Holiday season; Stop at black light, go at white…(hmmm may be racist…have to think about that one.)
The “New Orleans Saints” football team must be changed to the “New Orleans Nice Guys.”
Crossing at public streets needs to be stopped.
The following language must be outlawed from public buildings, parks, and streets: “Holy Shit” “God Damn” “Praise Allah” and anything in that secret Jewish language including “Mozel Tov” “Oy Vey” and “Putz.”
You may only be born once in a public hospital.
RR, School and Deer Crossing signs will be changed to RR, School and Deer “Might be coming this way” signs.
Anyone named Moses, Jesus or Mohammed should be barred from public property.
“One nation, under God?” are you kidding me? Let’s just scrap the whole pledge thing. Pledging allegiance sounds suspiciously religious to me.
No prayers of any kind, anytime, on public property. This includes silent prayers. To assure no silent prayers on public property, people will be required to mumble at all times while on public property. Any mumbling that sounds like a chant will not be tolerated.
Pure thoughts are a concept from the Bible, the Torah and the Koran; pure thoughts will not be allowed on public property. Leering and drooling while mumbling will be encouraged.
Congress will pass no laws which have as a base any religious connection; therefore any law related to the Ten Commandments will be null and void. Adultery will be optional.
As stealing, killing, lying, and coveting will now be legal we pretty much won’t need any police force other than to assure no one says…you know, the “G” word, and to enforce the mumbling and have no pure thoughts on public property rule.
Only when this country completely eliminates any exception to the separation of church and state doctrine, can we as a people be truly safe and truly free.
Thank God for the FFRF!