BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP,
THE HORN WENT BEEP BEEP BEEP
I need to
report Mrs. C for spousal abuse.
People go to
jail for leaving their pet in a hot cat with the windows all up. Leave a child in a locked car and you will do
time for sure. There must be a penalty
for leaving your elderly husband locked in the car with the windows rolled up on
a hot summer day.
That’s what
Mrs. C did to me tonight. Coming home
from dinner she tells me she is going to stop at the grocery store for a few
items. Not a problem, Mrs. C can do a
store in-and-out faster than most would think humanly possible.
She left me
in the car and took the keys because (so she claims) the preferred grocery card
is on the key chain and she saves money with this card. So I am left alone without a key to listen to
the radio or open a window.
Before long
it starts to get really hot and it is hard to breath.
I’m thinking
“do I have less rights than a child, or a
dog. Hell no,” and I decide to step
out of the car to wait.
BEEP… BEEP…BEEP Horns go off, lights go on, and
people are looking at me climbing out of the car, only they are thinking I am
trying to climb into the car. I shrug
and hold up my hands to proclaim my innocence.
I feel like Nixon, “I am not a
crook!”
After three
minutes the horns stop honking and the lights stop flashing and I am still
waiting for Mrs. C who is taking way longer than her usual quick store in-and-out. Now I am getting bored and decide to open the
car door and get at my cell phone
BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…here we go again.
Three more
minutes of trying to not look like a thief and finally Mrs. C comes out and
hits the button to stop the madness.
“WTF, why would you lock me in the
car and take the key?”
“I guess I locked it out of habit,
and I needed the key for the Shop-Rite discount card.”
“Oh, terrific, I’m left in a hot car,
your lucky this did not end up on News 12 tonight…how much money did the card
save you?”
“Seven cents.”
“Seven cents? Is that all I’m worth, seven cents?”
“You’re a jerk!”
At least you were able to open the door and escape, which pets can't do. I always love the way you can squeeze a fun story out of most anything--the mark of a good writer.
ReplyDelete7 cents? She's lucky you are still talking to her! LOL!
ReplyDeleteIn this case Mrs C is the jerk! Seven lousy cents? Tsk.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she was afraid you would lock her out. Lol. This happen to me once when I left the key in the car and my husband was having a hard time getting the door to unlock and it was pouring down rain.
ReplyDeleteGood thing no one noticed you in the car before you stepped out. I could see the police being called to make a safety check on you. It is amazing how fast a car get heat up like that.
ReplyDeletebetty
I'm glad you made it. Y'all should go do something nice with that seven cents.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of leaving your spouse in a locked rig. I believe I would of turn on on every light and sat on the rig until my other half came out. In hope the battery was dead and start a fight with him.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on
Heh, heh! You are the 7-Cent Husband! At least I used to be the 5-Dollar Daughter.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I call a living nightmare. It happened to me once but fortunately hubby was only a few feet away, near enough to spot me frantically waving. It was a rainy day ... fortunately.
ReplyDeleteYes, i've waited in the hot car, and had the alarm go off. It's not fun, but you survived, so did i. Next time, take the card off of the key ring and keep the keys.
ReplyDeleteCar alarms don't seem to be worth the hassle. I would have lost my mind in your situation,
ReplyDeleteSeven cents is seven cents. Too funny. I love your life and thank you for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
I'm surprised anyone paid attention to the car alarm!!
ReplyDelete.... and THIS is why I always have a key to every car in the family on me at all times!! Cause I'm a jerk as well.
ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteI can see your tombstone now." He was worth every bit of the seven cents."
ReplyDeleteThink you have a beef this time:))
Mrs. C is lucky I wasn't nearby, because I would have SAVED you by smashing a brick through the car window...like any caring citizen would do!!!
ReplyDeleteThe Seven Cent Solution. Wasn't that a Sherlock Holmes story. Oh, wait. I think that was the Seven PER-Cent Solution. Oh, well, I liked your story, too.
ReplyDeleteSeven cents? Is that after your 2016 inflation adjustment? 😏
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Omgosh.. I can't stop laughing!!! SEVEN WHOLE CENTS!!!!! Hahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteHi Cranky,
ReplyDeleteI think I'm worth less than that - certainly in the eyes of my cats.
:o)
Cheers
PM