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Wednesday, August 10, 2016

A Cranky Movie Idea

A Cranky Movie Idea

Mrs. C and I went to a movie today with the Massachusetts crank who is visiting for a few days… “The Infiltrator.” It was a good movie, I think, problem was it was way too complicated.

Brian Cranston plays the major roll as an FBI (I think) agent who helped bring down a drug cartel in the 1980’s. That is about all I know about the movie.  The problem is Cranston’s character had several names and everyone he deals with looks kind of the same and all have similar Hispanic names.  Also the plot was just really complicated.

What made it worse for me was seeing it in a theater, I could not constantly ask Mrs. C, “Who is that again?” or “What just happened there?”  Good for Mrs. C, she could enjoy the movie, bad for me, I was mostly lost.

OK, here is my idea.  Special movie glasses for old people.  Wait, bear with me.  They have three D glasses, so why can’t they imbed things on the screen just for old people.  Old people could wear special glasses which would allow them (us) to read the imbedded stuff on the screen.

For instance, all the characters would have their name visible on their forehead through the glasses.  Along with the name you could also read the importance of the character.

I.E. “Bob Morgan, alias Bob Kelly, who works undercover for the FBI.” He may need a big forehead, but you get the picture.

Then enter George “George, Bob’s contact and connection to the cartel.”

This way old people will always know who is who and not fall behind in the story line.

When something dramatic happens an explanation runs along the bottom of the screen for those wearing glasses to read.

“The guy that was just shot through the head was Emilio the drug runner who was going to rat out Bob.”

When dialog contains terminology beyond the average old person’s comfort zone the screen will show definitions.

“Mario, put away that piece!”  Piece is another word for gun.

“So. Did he toss your salad?”  Sexual…You probably don’t want to know.

This new technology would allow old people to keep up with the story line and the characters without disturbing young people.

Yes, this technology may cost a little more, but old people would pay extra and with it, more old people might go to the movies.

That’s my idea; go ahead smart people, make it happen…please.


  1. Best to the MA Crank. Good luck in Sept!

  2. Okay. Seriously. I want to see this come to fruition. You do realize that at any given time your (our) movie screen would be nothing but explanations and definitions and we'd miss the whole movie trying to read thru it...

  3. Sounds like a Tom Clancy book. Hubby would read these in years gone by and have to keep flipping back to other parts of the book to get the characters straight.


  4. I'm not sure your idea would work. The movie would have to be slowed down enough to enable all the oldies enough time to read the embedded words and everyone else would get frustrated waiting for the next thing to happen. You're probably better off reading the book, so you can pause in the middle of each page to work out who is doing what to whom.

  5. Love your spam. Good grief those spammers are everywhere.

    I think you need to quit going to movies if you can't follow the plot. You're a smart guy Joe so what's up with not being able to follow a movie plot. There are the good guys and then there are the bad guys.

    You crack me up.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  6. Ooh, I like this. Sounds like me in a Tom Cruise movie. Also if the glasses could have closed caption for those whisper moments I would appreciate it.

  7. Stephen at Chubby Chatterbox said this and somehow I deleted it:

    This word be great on TV as well. Game of Thrones is such a complex story that it would be great having a tool to explain who everyone is.

  8. Not sure I could keep up with explanations before the scene changed. I think arrows with "Bob" etc would help. I'm always asking, "Who is that now?" You are right - FBI all look alike when they are moving around, it's hard to tell who is who ...

  9. If you can think of it, it can probably be done. Now the question is, will someone take the time to bother?

  10. That's actually a great idea!!

  11. I need it! The characters always look too much alike to me, and I can't keep up.

  12. Yes, yes, yes! I totally agree with you. Plus, so many of the characters talk too fast, mumble, and talk so low I keep thinking I'm missing something really important. And you are right - the characters all look alike! They should have something like black hats for the bad guys and white hats for the good guys... :-)

  13. But wouldn't they have to slow the movie down a lot so we would have time to read everyone's head? And the print would have to be VERY BIG, too.