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Friday, August 5, 2016


There is something fulfilling about this tomato growing thing.  It is kind of life affirming not too dissimilar from having a baby.  When we left for the Jersey Shore last month I feared for the life of my plants.  I asked my next door neighbor, the one with a car in the driveway with two flat tires for the last three years and to whom I seldom say more than “Hey how ya doin,” if he would water the plants every day.
Darnell, my neighbor, did in fact keep the plants alive, he will be rewarded with a nice tomato.
I have two plants, Topsey which is growing upside down, and Groundy who was planted in a more traditional manner.  Topsey is not growing as large as Groundy and does not look as robust, but Topsey has 11 very nice looking tomatoes ripening on its vine.  Groundy has flowers all over the place, but so far I only see two small tomatoes and two teeny tomatoes.
Four of 11 nice Topsey tomatoes
A more robust Groundy...Topsey in background
Tiny Groundy tomatoes
At this rate given my expenses so far, my tomato crop is going to cost me about $3.50 a tomato…$4 if you factor in the tomato I owe Darnell.
In addition to the expense, effort and worry over my vegetable babies, I have discovered there is something on the vine that I am allergic to.  Whenever I check for new fruit and touch the vine in any way, I come down with a two-hour sneezing fit.
Expense and allergy be damned, there is just something about getting your hands in the soil, watering, feeding, pruning and protecting your own plants, that makes reaping any crop seem worthwhile. 


I just Googled to figure why I don't get more tomatoes from Groundy. Turns out she did not start to flower until the start of hot, humid, windless weather and this is a pollination issue.  Seems you have to jiggle or vibrate the vine to assist in the pollination.  

I wonder if next year, along with watering while we are away if Darnell will also jerk-off my tomato vine.


  1. Hahahahahahaha. Well if Darnell will jerk-off your plant. He's a keeper I'm thinkin'! Hahahaha.

  2. I wished for a tomato plant but now I realise I'm better off buying them from a shop. I mean, I don't have a Darnell living next door. Life is so unfair!

  3. Not knowing much about tomato plants, i have to ask about Groundy, did you pinch off some of the extra shoots that grow between the stalk and the initial stems? If you don't, you end up with mostly leaves and no tomatoes. This is something i only know because The Big Boss, who grows a huge garden every year, was showing me that on some tomato plants he had one day.

  4. Real tomatoes are the knowledge of how fake is the produce we buy. I am allergic to something that passes between me and tomato vines, too.

  5. Yeah, you have to pinch of those suckers - make the plant think you are trying to kill it off and it will get busy with the blossoms.

  6. I agree, there is something very satisfying about growing a garden, but from a dollars and cents standpoint it's a total bust. I could have eaten out at many fine restaurants for what my home-grown salad cost. I finally just threw in the towel and admitted I was a builder, not a farmer. Good luck with yours. :)

  7. You may owe him two tomatoes if he agrees to that next year.

  8. Bwahahahahahahahaha. Just might happen.

    Sounds like you're better off getting your produce from the grocery store. Just saying. Cheaper and no stress.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  9. Ha ha , think you might just be asking a lot for a one tomato payday.
    I had a bumper crop of plum tomatoes that were ready for picking. Something or someone beat me to it. I just went out to pick and all the ripe ones are gone. Not on the ground, no remnants lying about, just gone. Humm. as a warning, keep an eye on yours when they ripen.

  10. I can see him saying, sorry Joe. Your plants gonna die.

    1. At the very least, jerking off a tomato plant should merit a couple of extra tomatoes as payment!!

  11. We have ours in pots on the deck. A chipmunk must have climbed one because it was on its side today, and there is no wind. About 8 green tomatoes fell off :(

  12. I don't care too much for tomatoes, but I do struggle to keep my patch of parsley alive. I love fresh parsley.

  13. Your tomatoes are looking good!

    And well, your last sentence almost had me spitting tea all over my screen.

  14. Wow! Topsey is fruitfully multiplying!

  15. My new indoor basil plant is growing nicely. I wish I had your tomato plants and some fresh mozzarella on hand when the craving hits on occasion.

    Actually, just stopped by the farmers market and got a nice red plump tomato. I'm encouraged more in my getting-older days to appreciate home and locally grown veggies.

    Keep that jigglin' pollination goin'!

  16. About a hundred years ago, I took a class in hydroponics and I recall we
    pollinated the tomatoes with an electric tooth brush.


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