Fart

Fart

I just read a post over at River’s

@http://river-driftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/ 

where she laughed at the line in a TV show, “He’s as worthless as a fart in a hurricane.”

I’ve heard that line before, it is funny.  It got me to thinking, “FART” is probably the funniest word in the English language.  Any story or joke with the word “FART” in it, is sure to get a laugh.

 

Listening to a serious sermon in church and the pastor, or anyone lets one slip, and the whole congregation will about die trying to keep from busting out.

I’ve told my son that when I am gone, I want him to slip one of those remote fart machines in the casket.  He has been instructed to push the button at the most inappropriate time possible.

 

Damn, I only wish I could be there.

Even today the word is not to be used in proper company.  Instead they say “Pass gas,” “Break wind,” or “Cut the cheese.”  When little children are around we say someone “Fluffed.”  It doesn’t matter what you call them, they always make you laugh.

I guess “FART” is considered “a four letter word” not to be uttered around polite company, but it is such a funny word, it is so harmless, I think it should be used to replace the really offensive four letter words.

Many a fight would be averted if an annoying person was told to “Fart off!” or “Go fart yourself” or “Fart you, you fart hole” (actually that one may be a bit offensive).

Anyway, point is “Fart” is a funny, unoffensive word.  A fart knows no religion, race, political affiliation, or social standing.  A fart is a fart.  We all fart,  and they are always funny.  Even stinky farts are funny.  Sure they receive an “EWW, that is disgusting!” response, but then laughter follows.

Men are often proud of their farts.  Even stinky ones.  Women are embarrassed by them and will always blame the dog.  Even if there is no dog, they will blame the dog.

Then there is the SBD, we all know what that is.  An SBD in an elevator will result in muffled giggles and lots of finger pointing.  Often no one will even mention the occurrence of an SBD because of the rule 

“He who smelt it dealt it.”

There is an election coming up this November.  There will be televised debates.  I don’t know at this time who I will be voting for. I am waiting the results of those debates.  

I will definitely vote for any candidate that lets one fly and continues answering a question without pause.

 

That is composure under pressure.

That’s all I have on this subject.  Hope you liked it.

 

If not, FART-OFF!