Multiple Choice
My wife
tells me I am cognitively degenerating.
After Googling “Cognitive” I forcefully disagreed.
“I might
be a degenerate, but my cognatives are just fine!”
“Your
memory is shot. You know the answers to
quiz show questions, except you don’t!”
Actually on
this she is right. Typically
“Who
was the Soviet Premier during the Cuban Missile Crisis?”
I’m yelling,
“I know,
I know, Fat bald guy, banged his shoe at the UN, said he was going to bury
us…you know, the guy!”
Mrs. C.,
“They need a name, Fat bald guy, banged his
shoe at the UN, said he was going to bury us…you know, the guy! Does not
count!”
“Just
give me a multiple choice, and I will get it!”
“Life
does not give you multiple choices.”
OK, so maybe
she is right, but I tell her,
“I could
give you the names of all my teachers from third grade through college if you
gave me multiple choice. I could name
all my neighbors from any year if you gave me multiple choice. I could identify any of my old phone numbers,
if I had multiple choice.”
“That’s
great, except at the doctors office you need to remember your Social Security number,
your phone number, your email address. It
would be nice if you remembered your children’s birthdays and our anniversary. They don’t offer any of those in multiple choice
now do they?”
“Hmm...is
that a True or False question?”
“How’s
this, you are either:
a. An idiot
b. A fool
c. Stupid
d. A jerk”
“That’s
easy, d.”
“Bingo! A
jerk who is in cognitive decline ”
Bwahahahahahahahaha. Love this.
ReplyDeleteI linked this post to Happy Tuesday.
Have a great day, Joe. 😎
We have two TV programs with multiple choice answers given to contestants. The Chase and Who wants to be a millionaire. Have you got them in the USA?
ReplyDeleteDespite the answers on the screen; I still manage to choose the wrong answer every time. Am I a jerk in cognitive decline?
God bless.
Only if you previously knew the correct answers.
DeleteNope ... sometimes I don't even understand the questions - never mind the multiple choice answers.
DeleteGod bless.
Heeheehee! No cognitive decline, your brain is just so full of facts and information that retrieval has become a problem. It happens to most if they are lucky enough to live that long.
ReplyDeleteIs there a reason you don't remember your first and second grade teachers?
ReplyDeleteShe may be right, but in a few more years she may be with you in the decline. I remember stuff that's important to me, and I'm okay with not remembering things like who won the whatever whenever.
ReplyDeleteBut you do KNOW them! Just not by name. So there's that.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha. Mrs. C gets you every time. :)
ReplyDeleteI did know Kruschev but I'm usually suffering the same fate as you. Oh, woe is we.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere in the school life this multiple choice system was introduced and I was thrilled. I was sure that the right answer has to be one of the four. Which one was just a matter of probability.
ReplyDeleteThink you are fine Joe. My dad who was 2 points short of being a genius use to say you will never see an older person on Jeopardy. We still know the answers, we just don't have instant recall. Multiple choice gives us the time we need. I have also found the pause button is a great help. Then if pause doesn't work, when I hear the answer I tend to growl, "I knew that." But there are no big bucks for almost.
ReplyDeleteSo who was the "Fat bald guy, banged his shoe at the UN, said he was going to bury us?" Was he the one who had the red birthmark on his forehead the shape of the USSR?
ReplyDelete