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Thursday, July 30, 2015



Years ago I used to watch tennis.  In the eighties it was all the rage.  It was difficult to find time on the public courts in our town.  Today the courts are mostly used for skateboards.  When tennis was really popular, the big names in men's were Jimmy Connors, John McEnroe, Bjorn Borg and Ivan Lendl.  

Of this group, Connors and McEnroe were brats.  Among Connors and McEnroe, McEnroe was the biggest brat.  He was a spoiled little shit who moaned and complained at every call.

I get it, a call for or against you in tennis can cost you a match.  Emotions run high especially in a big tournament, but McEnroe was the worst.  He argued almost every close call that did not go his way.  In the eighties human discretion was the only way to call a match, today they may use sophisticated technology to make the close calls; I don’t know and I don’t care anymore, I couldn’t name more than three pros today and have no idea who won the last major tournaments.

I have to admit, one of the reasons I found tennis popular in the eighties was that McEnroe and Connors made a stuffy old snobby rich man’s game more human with their shenanigans.  Still, John McEnroe was over the top.  He complained about the calls.  He berated the linesmen and head official.  He pouted and threatened to stop play.  He was full of himself.  He was a big baby, a whiny ass bitch in a snotty ass sport.

McEnroe was famous for his tennis skills (He was one of the best ever) and his whining tantrums:

“Are you kidding me?”  “You cannot be serious!”  “What are you even looking at?” “Unbelievable!”

Oh, I watched.  I watch train wrecks, but I still hated the little shit!

What happened to John McEnroe?  After he retired he had a failed music career, made a few movie cameos, had a failed try as a game show host and is a TV tennis commentator.  I imagine he is still quite wealthy, but his newest gig gives me great pleasure.

The great John McEnroe, the spoiled tennis bitch, is selling a foot fungus product.  In the commercial, he capitalizes on his old complaining persona.  He announces a tennis match between “Toe Fungus” and his “Toe Fungus Product.”

We see John calling the match, “Unbelievable, Toe Fungus?” in his old whiny manner.

Way to go John, you’ve come a long way from the best tennis player in the world and a whiny brat, to a huckster using your old brat persona to hawk about “Toe Fungus!”

“Toe Fungus? Seriously!”


  1. I never liked him and you've captured why. I've never cared for brats and crybabies. At least he's found his niche. Bwahahahahahaha.

    Have a fabulous day Joe. My best to Mrs. Cranky. ☺

  2. haha. i've seen that commercial. :) he reminds me of trump today.

  3. Hi Cranky Man,

    McEnroe and you are similar in that you can both be cranky :-P

    He has had a cameo appearance in Curb Your Enthusiasm (my favourite US comedy show) and currently commentates for the BBC for Wimbledon - so as far as we are concerned, he is still very much around.

    Having said that, I loved the guy; he brought a welcome relief to the stuffiness of Wimbledon where everyone has to wear white and the audience stuff themselves on overpriced strawberries and cream.

    We need MORE McEnroes.




  4. Well that shows how much attention I pay to commercials and tennis - I didn't realize it was John doing that commercial. I just mute the TV during commercials. So is whining better than grunting?

  5. I haven't seen the commercial, I'll have to look for it. I do remember how popular tennis was in the 1980s; I do remember playing a lot of it back then and watching a lot of it on TV. You are right, his antics were "priceless" on TV. I often wonder why celebrities like him and others are doing commercials these days. I do wonder if it is a bit of money they might need or just to keep their face in front of the audience so no one forgets them.


  6. We still watch a lot of tennis here. I love Novak Djokovic. My son played USTA for 9 years. To this day, the kids still make all their own calls.

  7. Yes, i remember his yelling a lot, and pitching fits, and i had no clue what he was doing.

  8. Oh he was a brat all right but he was an entertaining brat. I think he helped rather than hurt tennis. Don't watch anymore, think I miss the characters.

  9. I was never a fan, and he sure looks old in that commercial.

  10. These antics were not something I cared to see. I was more comfortable watching Chris Evert, the Ice Maiden.

  11. Foot fungus product, huh? Well, at least it's not reverse mortgages!

  12. I didn't watch tennis back then and didn't realize it was so huge--except that big stars like Brooke Shields seemed to be marrying all of them! All I know about John McEnroe is that he had a temper and yelled all the time! Still to this day when I see him, that's what I see him as: "the yeller."

  13. Sounds like 'ol Johnny is now the poster child for "Karma is a bitch".

  14. Foot Fungus? That's kinda scrapping the bottom of the barrel.

  15. My ex used to watch the tennis and every time I heard McEnroe I felt embarrassed for his mother. Although sometimes I wondered if she had raised him that way and was proud of his tantrums.

  16. At least it was mano v. mano like boxing versus those "competitions" like golf you can play by yourself. But your right on one thing, McEnroe was a whinny little shit.

  17. I loved tennis in the 80s and I know he wasn't popular, but my favorite was Ivan Lendl. I loved him!
    I couldn't stand John McEnroe and I was very very happy when one year in Australia playing for the Open here he was made to forfeit the match over his behaviour. The crowd was split on this but there were plenty cheering.