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Wednesday, July 8, 2015

THAT DUDE WAS CRAZY


THAT DUDE WAS CRAZY
Heh, heah heah heah heah; Heh, heah heah heah heah

Every school had one; that one guy who would do anything for attention.  He was the life of the party, a class clown, the guy who was not afraid of anything.  He was the guy who everyone liked but would always declare after saying his name, “That dude is crazy.”

Doug Fleming was our guy.  Doug Fleming, “That dude was crazy.”

At the lunch table, Doug could be coaxed to eat an entire apple in one bite.  Yes he would.  He could jam an average sized apple into his mouth and chew it up stem, seeds and all, in one bite.  “That dude was crazy.”

When streaking, a sixties fad of running naked across the football field at half-time, was popular, Doug was the guy doing it.  “That dude was crazy.”

When the teacher called on him in class Doug would simply reply, “Shit man, I didn’t read that stuff.”

On his way to the office the entire class would whisper admiringly, “That dude is crazy.”

He was the first guy to sneak booze into a teen basement party.  He was the first guy to discover the ganja.  He was the first guy to snort bad stuff.  “The dude was crazy.”

He wasn’t stupid, he was actually pretty smart.  He got good grades with very little studying.

Doug was a lot of laughs.  There was little that he wouldn’t do for a laugh.  Doug was very popular even if everyone said “That dude is crazy.”

At our schools tenth reunion, Doug did not attend.  Someone asked, “Hey, where is Doug Fleming?  Remember Doug”?

“What, you didn’t hear?  Doug had to be institutionalized.  He flipped out in college.  His roommate found him curled up in a corner of his room, naked bloody and mumbling to himself.

That dude was crazy!”


The preceding was fiction based on several kids I knew in high school and college…all of whom were described laughingly “As Crazy!”

21 comments:

  1. Well I didn't see THAT coming, Joe! Now I'm slightly curious about the classmate that *was* found curled up, naked n' bloody.. My brother had a streaker at his graduation, we were too far up in the bleachers to see and I was too little to really know what it was all about but I remember my mom talking about it for days and laughing. :)

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  2. The crazy ones from my school are either dead or in jail. Not fiction!

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  3. There was guy in my class who was actually a pretty straight-arrow type. We went to the same college, and in fact, wound up living on the same floor of the same dorm. So imagine my surprise when, two weeks into the fall term, he had acquired the nickname 'Buzz', since that pretty much summed up his mental state most of the time.

    He basically stopped going to class, and just stayed stoned most of the term (which seemed like a stunning waste of his dad's money; but maybe that was the problem, it was his DAD's money). Then he pulled a No-Doz-fueled 72-hour cram session for the final, and then did a face-plant on the desk when the exam sheets were passed out. The prof looked concerned, but we all assured him that, no, he had worked incredibly hard to get to exactly that position, so the prof left him alone. He lasted the requisite two terms before the school sent him packing.

    I ran into him maybe 20 years later, clerking at a Hobby Hub, trying to reclaim his education at age 40 or so. Just incredibly sad. . .

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  4. Yep, we had one too. They are fun to watch. Yes indeed.

    Have a fabulous day and thanks for taking me down memory lane. ☺

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  5. Having been a high school teacher for 10 years, I have known more than the standard 4 year share of them. One year I'm pretty sure the whole school's worth were in one of my art classes. The boldest one drank a jar of blue paint.

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  6. If you think they're a distraction in school, you should have one in your boot camp company.

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  7. Seems like some of the crazy ones from my high school turned into solid citizens and some of the straight ones fell on their faces in the cold hard world.

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  8. My brother was this guy. Part of why he checked out at age 28. The good part is, he never grows old in my mind.

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  9. Brother was the crazy one; not as extreme as some you listed here, but he streaked in high school and had a bit of a wild reputation. Happily married now for 37 years, 2 children, 3 grands, ready to retire from the post office :)

    betty

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  10. Our crazy guy was John Hollingshead, but everyone called him "Hollowhead." He ate crayons and did all sorts of crazy things. In high school his hair turned silver and all of a sudden girls thought he was hot. He also ended up burned out on drugs and spent time in a mental hospital.

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  11. I sure did not see that coming. Shocker.

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  12. So, you did hear about the guy who lighted a firecracker on his head and blew his brain out? Died. Crazy.

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  13. well, glad it was fictional - this time. :)

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  14. You do write good fiction eh?

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  15. We had one who faked a heart attack when sent to the office for his antics. As he laid there on the floor, the principal called his bluff by grabbing the defibrillator kit off the wall, and held it over his chest. The kid jumped up and said, "I'm feeling much better now!" They had already called 911, and sent him off to the hospital in an ambulance.

    A few days later, he walked into the building, gingerly carrying a shoe box. The coach on duty asked him what he had there. "A bomb." He was smashed to the floor by three faculty members quicker than he could fake a heart attack. He did not return. Oh, and the box turned out to be empty.

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  16. We had a kid in high school who never did crazy stuff. He was an average, nerdy kid with glasses, socially awkward, and never got the girls. His name was Bill Gates.

    This comment was fiction, also...based loosely on an entire fleet of kids who weren't cool and crazy. :-)

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  17. The crazy ones may be fun to watch, but it's no fun to be them. Not a bit.

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  18. I think the shy and loner types. like me as a kid, are the ones to watch more closely. At least with the "Dougs" you know what you are getting.

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  19. Wow! You had me hooked. But I think most schools had crazy folks. I know we did.

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  20. I'll take your word for it that all schools have at least one of these crazy characters. I spent my school years buried in fiction novels, so didn't take notice of the kids around me.

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