NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

THE USA NEEDS A KING


THE USA NEEDS A KING
 
 
Donald Trump just announced he was running for President.  I don't think he would make a good President, but from "I Used To Be Stupid" I think we should make him King of the USA.  This was written about three years ago, but I think it is still a terrific idea.
 
The other night I was watching a show about the UK and their Monarchy.  At first I was thinking that a Monarchy in a modern democracy was absurd, but on further reflection it occurred to me that we need a King in the USA.

The President of The United States is very busy.  He leads and inspires the country in good times and in bad times.  He makes decisions on the economy.  He works with and compromises with Congress and the Senate.  He appoints judges. He campaigns for legislation he wants passed and government officials he wants appointed or elected.  The President is on call 24/7 to make decisions on International issues and in dealing with emergencies.  His opinion is solicited and put under a magnifying glass on every subject from Terrorism to whom he favors in the Super Bowl.
In addition to all his duties and responsibilities, the President is also the figure head and representative of our country.  He hosts State Dinners for every dignitary from Russia to Timbuktu.  He represents the USA at funerals, and at every tragedy it is the President who tells the world that “Our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Blah Blah Blah during this time of great difficulty.”  The president has to travel the world to shake hands with other leaders and wave to foreign populaces in order to send a signal to the rest of the world that the USA supports the country and people of the great country of Whatever.
Our country needs a figurehead and representative for all these mundane functions, but does it have to be the President?  Does it have to be the busiest man in the world?  No.  These functions should be handled as they are in the UK.
 
The USA needs a King.
This should not be an elected position.  It should not be a political appointee.  The King should be a person universally adored, admired, and feared.  He should simply step into the position and be anointed based on his kingly attitude and kingly sense of entitlement.  The title should be passed down to the heirs of the king, thus creating a whole class of princes and princesses, lords and ladies, and dukes and duchesses.  This new class of privileged based on birth alone would give the country a family we could safely hate. 

Our country needs a figurehead to assume the tasks of representing our country to the world, and a group to absorb the hate and disenchantment currently thrust on the president for issues over which he has no control. 

Our country needs a King!

Who should fill the title?  Oprah has no heirs, George Clooney has no heirs, Charlie Sheen is a bit unstable, and Tom Cruise is wacky.  Since George Steinbrenner passed away, there is only one person who fills this bill.  There is only one person who is haughty enough. There is only one person with the sense of entitlement, and also has the annoying offspring to take over when he passes.  There is only one person with all these attributes who also looks good in a tuxedo, regardless of his unusual hair. 

Donald Trump should be King of the USA!

King Donald's  entrances would be preceded by his “Money Money  Money” theme. 


King Donald would not need a crown, his hair-do would suffice.  He would not need Air Force I, he has his own planes and helicopters.  King Donald has golf courses and enough real estate fit for….well….a King.  

“The Donald” has two ex-wives and a current wife 25 years younger than he is.  He has three grown children, Donald Jr. the heir apparent to the throne, Ivanka, and Eric by his first wife.  There is a daughter, Tiffany by Marla Maples, wife number 2, and 8 year old Barron with his current wife Melania.  With all these off spring and given his own past, there is plenty of opportunity for drama and controversy from the new royalty. 

This will take the pressure off the President and his family.

Who cares what the first lady is wearing,  it will be Melania under the microscope.   What are the President’s children up to?  How boring compared to an 8 year old Prince Barron chasing third grade girls around the playground.

What world leader would prefer a meeting with a boring President of the United States, when he could be shaking hands with King Donald and posing for pictures next to Queen Melania?

Let our elected President make the tough decisions on international matters.  Let the President make the speeches which set the tone and direction of our country.  Let the President concentrate on running the country without worrying over his every move.

King Donald would create the controversies so in demand by the media.  King Donald  would handle all the pomp and circumstance.  If there is a need around the world for an effigy burning, let it be King Donald. 
Three cheers for “The Donald”.

Long live the King!  

28 comments:

  1. I was thinking more along the lines of Angela Merkel -- or Sarah Palin. Or you, Cranky!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It would be wiser not to comment... except to say we LOVE our royal family.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I always thought Ivanka seemed classy and snobby. She would make a good queen herself.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I thought we had been rid of this iconic illness, but, no, like Ebola he just lies quietly until the moment to invade the media.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Replies
    1. Wrong guy, but both have crazy hair--probably why you made your mistake!!

      Delete
  6. it would work well - if only donald could keep his mouth shut! he'd be off starting all sorts of wars and such...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I can see your reasoning here. He may make a good king. I think we have a king presently though because he sure likes the pomp and circumstance but not much else getting done these days.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  8. But, the queen must always be on the same page as her prime minister. Donald cannot even keep his hair in one place.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well, you may have a point here. Can't be any worse than the mess we already have. Why not.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  10. In fairness, he would probably make a better president than pretty much everyone else currently working for our government.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also I hope you stick with your guitar.

      Mandolin was originally used in classical music. You'd probably have an easier time playing it than I'm having, since you already play the guitar...

      Delete
  11. Do you know where I can purchase a gallon of brain bleach to clear my head of the mere thought of Donald Trump as king of the USA. Finally, we have a driver for the Republican clown car! On another note, people always praise George Washington for refusing to be king of the fledgling United States, but offering a sterile man in his late sixties the crown isn't such a big deal since a dynasty is impossible for someone incapable of producing children. And what about a queen for America? There are more women here than men.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He would make a terrible President, but a great King...someone to relieve the real leader of the country from the mundane task of representing the country at funerals and special events and to be hung in effigy by USA haters around the world.

      Clown Car? That is so unfair, but I don't think a clown cart will be able to stop the liberal steamroller.

      Delete
  12. While i'm not sure it would work, i did have a college professor who said that the US already is an elective monarchy, and would refer to past and current presidents as King SoandSo. He had a point, and so you do.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think The Donald would be 'great' in the sense of Æthelred The Unready, or Ludwig the Second of Bavaria.
    I do like the idea of a Queen (or King) rather like the current crop of Northern Europe's group. Socially progressive, activists and ombudsmen for their people.
    I know, too serious, but hey.......

    ReplyDelete
  14. Now there's an idea. We could potentially have an unending succession of Clinton-or-Bush presidents with a Trump king. Wouldn't necessarily even have to hold elections anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I guess I'm right in there with Stephen. The only problem is that unlike Queen Elizabeth, Donald whatever his name is..is one of the most arrogant blowhards we have. With the amazing colony of idiots running for the Republican nomination what they need is a clown bus!

    But that's only my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This was not really meant as any kind of endorsement for anyone or any party, I guess you disagree with the concept of a figure head King.

      Just my personal opinion, but any political discussion or comment which merely dismisses another party or person as idiots does not elevate the commenter. Also, as the term idiot was replaced by retard and retard is considered politically incorrect, the term idiot should also be offensive.

      Anyway, I thought this was just a fun post...wrong again.

      Delete
  16. I don't care what title we'd give him, I'd just like to see how he'd build that giant wall at the border and make Mexico pay for it! Pure entertainment he is!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Mr. Trump certainly has the ego of royalty. For a better glimpse of the real him, I think the 30 for 30 documentary on the USFL captured him in all of his unfriendliness.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I hope the king would not have power to declare war, or we would constantly be fighting Rosie O'Donnell.

    ReplyDelete
  19. With all due respect, Cranky, you've got it all wrong this time. Donald Trump is much better suited for the role as Court Jester.

    Think about it... a whole class of princes and princesses, lords and ladies, and dukes and duchesses. This new class of privileged based on birth alone would give the country a family we could safely hate. <-- Doesn't this describe the Kardashians???

    ReplyDelete
  20. Donald Trump is so full of himself. God help us all if he were to be elected! I always found the concept of royalty strange. Some comedian said it best--basically the people of England pay their royalty to act like they're better than everyone else!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm not sure. To go from a demi-god to a king could be a let down. How about just 10 guys and Tom Brady?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hi Cranky Man,

    This made me chuckle. Donald Trump - King of the USA? Ho ho ho!

    Actually, you can have our Queen and her entire family if you want - for a fee of course.

    In fact, how about you rejoin the fold and we make the USA part of the United Kingdom again?

    You know it makes sense.

    ;-)

    Cheers

    PM

    ReplyDelete
  23. Donald. Inept but loud. Might work.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!