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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

COED SHOPPING


COED SHOPPING

Men and Woman are very different about shopping.

Women are more proud of bargains than almost anything else.  Well they are to other woman.  When a man pays a compliment to a woman on a new dress she says,

“Oh, why thank you very much.”

When a woman compliments the same woman on the same dress:

“Do you like it?  I bought it at Target (“Tarjay” to really annoying, pretentious women.)  It was 49.99 marked down from 89.99!”

Or

“Really, this old thing?  I just pulled it out of my closet.”  Either way, she will never wear that dress again.

If a man pays a compliment to another man:

“Dude, nice jacket.”

“Huh…oh, thanks.”

A woman pays a compliment to a man:

“I really like that jacket.”

“Huh…oh thanks.” 

He will now wear that jacket whenever he is with this lady, even five years later…he will wear the same jacket.

When a woman shops for clothes, she loves the experience.   She will pick through row after row of different dresses, blouses, shoes…whatever.  She tries them all on, and will ask any other woman in the store, “Does this look nice on me?” Regardless of the answer, she responds, “Hmmm, I don’t know it may be too ______ (fill in the blank.) Ultimately she picks the first item she looked at…she can always return it later.

A man does not shop for clothes.  He knows what color, and style he wants before he enters the store.  He will grab it, pay for it, and go home.  Later, if it doesn’t fit just right, it will be put in his closet and never be worn again.

Men should not shop with women.  It is torture to the man.  The waiting, the having his opinion ignored and the waiting, plus the waiting, and then there is the waiting…it is unbearable.  Women know this, and do not ask a man to shop with them unless they are pissed off at him. 

The only thing worse to a man than shopping with a woman is couples counseling.

Women, if you want to know how miserable it is for your man to shop with you, go with him to shop for a hammer.

“Hmmm, ball peen or claw, sledge or mallet, rubber grip or leather, long handle or short.  Excuse me sir, can I try this out with a nail and a two by four?”

Later:

“Hey Joe, nice hammer.”

“Thanks dude, $9.99 at Lowes, marked down from 14.98.”

20 comments:

  1. I hate clothes shopping and avoid it as long as I can. I wear things until they fall apart in the wash, then try to buy the identical item, in the same colour. Easy enough since 90% of my clothes are t-shirts.

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  2. I think there's a slight role reversal going on around here. SD loves clothes shopping with me and its always me who can't be bothered to try stuff on or wade through racks and racks of stuff. I'll happily rummage for hours in a Charity shop though - luckily SD likes doing that too. I'm totally with you on the hardware shopping though, can't think of anything more boring than looking at tools (and I have spent MANY hours being bored doing just that!)

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  3. We have one rule in our house - I go shopping alone. Been there, done that, tried it, hate it... for sanity's sake I go alone.

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  4. The funny thing is, because my husband can pick out clothes quickly, he buys five items for every one thing I find. Therefore, he has a full closet, while mine is virtually empty.

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  5. You nailed it Joe. And have you noticed, the womens's clothes are all over the store...every floor, every corner of the store...while the men's department is in one corner of one floor? Obviously the stores are just playing the women. Kind of like the way Lowe's plays us. :)

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  6. I don't shop for clothes anymore. I buy the same jeans over and over--on line. I do go to Ace for tools. They know what they're doing there.

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  7. We clothes shop once a year, while on vacation. We go to an outlet mall and he goes to his stores, i go to mine (and the ones my mother wants to go to), the kids go to the ones they like. We meet up and lunch and whoever is done, goes home. The rest stay for another hour or so at the most. It's all we can stand!

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  8. If someone tells me, "Nice jacket," that's a bonus.
    I already like it because it fits and it's comfortable.
    It really doesn't matter a lot if anyone else likes it.

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  9. Good grief, I'm a man. Who knew. Shopping is my least favorite thing to do. The very least favorite thing.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  10. According to this, I am also a man.

    I approach shopping in the same manner I imagine civilian soldiers approach guerrilla warfare.

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  11. Not a big clothes shopper and the last thing I want is my husband along. He actually makes suggestions! After over 40 years of marriage he rarely selects something I would every wear.

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  12. Role reversal here, LOL. Hubby loves to shop. I don't. We slowly cruise the aisles of the grocery store when I just want to fly down them. Again, I'm learning patience.

    betty

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  13. I shop alone.

    "A man does not shop for clothes. He knows what color, and style he wants before he enters the store. He will grab it, pay for it, and go home."

    To quote my dad, that's called buying, not shopping.

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  14. What a fun post and almost completely true--sadly. Lately however, Internet shopping is my thrill.

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  15. I've only shopped online for the last couple of years--I love it!!

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  16. So true, and so funny. Why do we women respond that way to other women??

    My husband and I don't shop together. We BOTH hate shopping!

    Thanks for the chuckles. I needed that! :-D

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  17. ACK! Shopping in a hardware store makes me feel like I'm bleeding from the ears. Like my brain is trying to escape my skull. Right after I bought my $17,000 house, which enabled me to snare a husband, he started projects like tearing down a shed and building on a bedroom. Not that my $17,000 house needed any work, mind you.

    "Come on! Let's go look at those boards!"

    They were boards. What's to look at? It was all I could do not to plop down on a display toilet and hold my head in my hands.

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  18. So true. When my wife shops for groceries she actually stops to read labels. Can you believe ? I'm in an out in a snap, after checking things off my list.

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  19. I do most of the grocery shopping these days and am always getting jumped on by SWMBO for not paying attention to prices. I'm getting better though. A little bit better anyway.

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  20. I hate shopping for clothes! However, put me into the camera section of any store and I'll give advice to all the other shoppers there. Or even the employees - ha!

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