THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Friday, June 19, 2015
something about a trip to the supermarket that almost always gets me in
is the ladies that refuse to mind their carts.They always find a way to block the aisle I want to use, and hemming and
hawing does not get their attention. I suppose I could nicely ask them to move
their cart, but I just feel as they should be aware and look out for other
shoppers.To me it is an act of aggression
to block the aisle and I should not have to point it out to them. Instead I try to sneak by and fail, rattling
their cart or their backside and then mumbling an apology.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see your
cart, I guess I just didn’t expect to see a cart unattended in the middle of
activity that gets my blood boiling is the coupon ladies.Why do I always get in the checkout lane
behind a coupon lady?They pull out a
fist full of coupons and then proceed to argue over half of them.
“Expired?Are you sure?”
“If it is good for the 24 oz bottle
it should be good for the 12 oz. also.”
“Please call the manager; it should
be interchangeable between brands.”
Today I ran
into a new battle at the 15 item or less line.Oh I’ve had some battles here as well.I always count the number of items the person
ahead of me is purchasing.If there are
16 items it pisses me off, though I seldom say anything.I might mumble or cough “sixahemteen.” And I don’t count three identical items as one, that
is bull shit.Three items is three
today I encountered a new 15 item or less battle.
Shop-Rite there are two 15 item or less lanes.The lanes are not separated into distinct lanes, and it is easy to jump
from cashier to cashier.Now to me, you
should choose a line to a specific cashier.If one line happens to move faster than
another and you pick the wrong line…too bad.
the tradition at this market is to form one line and then move to whichever
cashier finishes with a customer, much like the snake line at a bank.
Today I am
was line with three items, eggs, bacon and yogurt.In front of me was an old bald dude with a
strange accent and behind him is a dude with neck to ankle tattoos, a Duck
Dynasty beard, spaghetti arms and one of those size 32 inch waists that still
has the beer belly bulge.
Tattoo Dude was
arguing with Foreign Man because he wanted Foreign Man to choose a lane.Foreign Man was trying to explain the lane protocol,
and Tattoo Dude was having none of it. The argument
started to get heated and Tattoo Man turned to me for support. “He gotta pick a line right?”
“Well I’ve been here before and that
is how they usually do it; personally I don’t give a damn.”
is now pissed off at me. “Are you kidding me, you siding with
this fool?Are you an idiot too?”
I might have
changed my tune and agreed with Tattoo Man, but his spaghetti arms and pot
belly told me his bluster had no backing.
“You know what, it’s like I said I
really don’t give a crap, but I gotta tell you, if I was looking to get into a friggin fight
today I would have gone to a biker bar, not a sissy-ass Shop-Rite.”
point, a cashier freed up, and Foreign Man moved up to check out.Tattoo Dude moved behind the person at the
other cashier and I fell in behind Foreign Man.
turned his attention to Foreign Man and mumbled a lot of smack; Foreign Man stood his ground and answered back with
what sounded like gibberish.
I couldn’t help
myself as the potential altercation seemed to be averted and I pointed out to
“By the way your three cans of tuna
count don’t count as one; you’re in line with sixteen items.”