THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Thursday, April 2, 2015
Which came first, the Jerk or the Bitch?
Which came first, the
Jerk or the Bitch?
first, the jerk or the bitch?It’s a
question I am sure that many married couples ask.It was asked in the Cranky home this
morning.It started when Mrs. C
complained to me that I over cooked her waffle. I guess I need to explain.
morning I get my breakfast, eggs and bacon, and when I come back upstairs with
my cup of coffee I bring Mrs. Cranky a glass of OJ and a toasted Eggo Waffle
(plain, no syrup…I KNOW!).This morning
she complained to me that I left the waffle in the toaster too long while I was
brewing my coffee.
“Next time, brew your coffee first,
so you don't leave the waffle in the toaster. That overcooks it.”
How she knew
I toasted the waffle and then hit “brew” on the Kurig thing leaving the toasted waffle in the still hot toaster I’ll never know…she
just knows stuff. Anyway I complained
that she doesn’t appreciate that I bring a waffle and juice to her every morning.
“I never ask you to make it for me,
but if you are going to make it, make it right.”
“Oh, I forgot you don’t like people
to do things for you, you don’t want to be beholding to anyone.It’s OK I won’t bother you with bringing you
“That’s not true, I like that you
bring me the waffle and OJ!”
“Well you never show it, you usually
complain about the way it is toasted.”
“If you weren’t such a jerk, I wouldn’t
be a bitch.”
“If you weren’t such a bitch, I
wouldn’t be a jerk.”
And so the
discussion morphed from complaining about an over toasted waffle to which came
first, my being a jerk, or Mrs. C being a bitch.