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Tuesday, September 9, 2014


Well, it’s another early September gone, and once again I missed two of my children’s birthdays.  To some people this is a big deal.  Personally I don’t get it.  Sure when you are little it is nice to have people make a big deal out of your birthday, but at some point, dang…congratulations, you were born. 

On your birthday, people should remember their moms, but otherwise I don’t get it.

My ex-wives equate birthdays with love.

“You don’t even know your own kids birthdays!”

As if that is proof I don’t care about my children.

Yeah, and I don’t know my grandkids birthdays, I forget my parents birthday and I usually have to be reminded on my own birthday.  My ex-wives always knew every birthday of anyone they ever met.  I would have rather they didn’t know my birthday and treated me with respect than them wishing me “Happy Birthday” while they were screwing their boyfriends behind my back.

The lady step-crank has a birthday "week."  It is one thing to treat people extra nice on their birthday, but a whole week?  She will say, “You can’t do that, it’s my birthday week, you have to be nice to me.”

Ok, I know she is just joking, but she will still try and work it.

Women use the birthday as a test.  Will he remember?  They won’t give you a heads up except maybe a month early reminder, otherwise it is a test and you better remember.  If you do something at the last minute, they will know and you will be called out on it.

I do remember birthdays as a kid.  Up to the age of maybe ten it was still a big deal in my house; after that, not so much.

When you woke up on your birthday in my house, the presents were all magically waiting for you at the edge of your bed. 

It was hard getting to sleep on your birthday eve. 

On my fifth birthday, while we were at the dinner table mom had the radio tuned to the “Uncle Chucky Show.”  Uncle Chucky used to read birthday greetings over the radio.

“And to Little Jody (long story, I hated that name) on your fifth birthday, check behind the couch for a surprise.”

It had to be me, how many Jody’s had a fifth birthday on my birthday?

Behind the couch was a record, “Bozo under the sea.”

I loved that record.  I never figured out how Uncle Chucky knew my birthday and how he got that record behind my couch.

Maybe that’s why I don’t make a big deal out of birthdays; nothing could ever top that Uncle Chucky surprise.

Anyway, to my two Cranks who were both born while Jerry Lewis was begging for dollars, it's a little late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Oh yeah, check behind the couch.

Surprise!...Nothing…I still love you though.


  1. cute. :) we never had much celebration for birthdays when i was growing up.

  2. I got a lot of birthday wishes yesterday. I don't care about presents though. I don't at Christmas either. My husband gives me a card and I give him a card on his birthday. At some point we go out for our birthday dinners. His birthday is 3 days before my birthday. So we are about the same on birthdays. It's just a day where one is a year older.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  3. If I remember, I fill in my calendar at the beginning of the year with birthday dates. If I remember.

  4. Bud NEVER forgets my birthday, because he's the kind of person that knows I'll kill him if he did!!

  5. I see little point in celebrating any anniversary be it birthday or wedding - but then, I'm just a grumpy old git!

  6. Ugh on birthdays- The one day a year I try not to remember. :/ I've hit that age where each birthday is just a reminder!

  7. Something creepy about Uncle Chucky leaving clown music behind a kid's couch.

  8. growing up b-days were always a big thing, even after I stopped giving a whoop about 'em. I married into a birthday-centric fambly where they DID take the better part of a week to 'celebrate' 'em. Took years before I could get the daughters down to just 1-2 birthday parties as opposed to the original 5. Or so. One for just us, one for her fambly, one for my fambly, one for church fambly, and one for (pre)skool when that came along.

    It's not that I hate 'em, i just don't get the big deal. Gimme a high-five and a brew, we'll call it a day and move on ('cause we know what I REALLY want is not on the menu).

  9. Great post, especially the ending. I think we're delving once more into the differences between the sexes, something your blog focuses on so well. My wife can remember the birthdays of friends in high school. I can only remember four birthdays other than my own. Obviously I'm a terrible person.

  10. I have to admit -- and this just may get me fired, as a woman -- but I don't see the big deal about birthdays, either. As for someone's "day", seems to me more like their mother's day, really...


  11. I'm the worst at remembering birthdays and anniversaries. I told people for 5 years my anniversary was on the 25th. Turns out it is on the 24th of March. My husband gets irritated when I don't remember the dates. Grrr.

  12. I always hated having a big deal made out of my birthday. (Except for the surprise 40th party... now THAT was fun!)

  13. I don't remember early childhood birthdays so I'm guessing there weren't any parties, then on the eve of my 8th birthday my mum left home; after that birthdays really didn't mean anything to me until I had my own kids, but we still didn't do parties often, the kids got a party for their 5th and 10th birthdays, after that it was more a day with their friends and cake.

  14. In my family, once you reach 18, you are on your own. Birthdays are pretty much forgotten but when we reach 60, we get back into the rituals at least with cards and calls.

  15. It wouldn't bother me that my husband forgets my birthday, except that he brags to everyone how good he is with numbers. He remembers the license plate numbers of customers he had when was a teenager working in a gas station. But he has to ask his office secretary when my birthday is. At least he remembers birthdays for his four boys.

  16. I forgot my own birthday once. I realize that I'm not normal.

  17. I wish people would forget my birthday, LOL. Its dangerously close to Christmas so I wish it would get "swept under the rug" but it never does. I do keep track of birthdays, I just don't do much for them other than son and perhaps hubby.

    I bet your mom was so excited waiting for Uncle Chucky to say those words, hoping it would happen, that he didn't forget or something went wrong.

    We must hear the story of Jody some day.


  18. I agree 100% that how you treat people on a day to day basis is far more important that a big fuss once a year but I'm torn, you KNOW how much I love birthdays (mine and other peoples).

    This year SD took me to the scrapyard to weigh in a load of metal on my birthday but that was because he'd checked the forecast and the weather was better for a trip to the beach the following day. He also gave me the most amazing pair of retro Draven Sex Pistols canvas shoes that he bought (because he loved them) and put away nearly 20 years ago. They mean more to me than any amount of fancy dinners or expensive jewellery because they show just how much he values and really knows me.

  19. It can be hard to remember everyone's birthdays which is why I remind people in advance that my birthday is coming up. I expect expensive gifts so this gives them time to plan their weekly spending accordingly.


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