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Friday, September 19, 2014

Could You Say That Again…Un-stat!

Could You Say That Again…Un-stat!
So I’m watching a TV doctor show the other night and Holy Hannah I realize there is one job I could never do; an ER nurse.  Are these shows really accurate?  I mean a man is wheeled into ER, and a doctor on the run is yelling out questions:

“BP? Eye dilation?  Temperature? Hair color? Heart rate? Height? Weight? Age? Sex? Race? Insurance?”

The nurse on the run answers every question, and then the doctor issues his orders:

“Give him 50 cc’s white cells, 200 cc’s bellyrubin, run an EKG, an IRT and a DWI, give him a shot of ibrutathal, a half aspirin, put him on oxygen, and get me some coffee…STAT!  Oh, and call my wife I’m going to be late for dinner.”

If I was an ER nurse I would be asking,

“Ah in any particular order doctor?  And was that 50 cc’s of wide shells and 200 cc’s of smelly Cubin or 200 cc’s of white cells and 50 cc’s of bellyrubin?  And what the frig is bellyrubin, is that the red stuff in the cabinet or the yellow shit in the room with all the bottles and stuff?”

OK, I guess in real life they are professionals and they know the lingo and many of these questions and requests are routine, but still…

You often hear of hospital goofs and slip-ups.  I know doctors and nurses are expected to be beyond human, but dang! 

I know at least they are certainly made of sterner stuff than I am.


  1. I like Nurse Jackie.

  2. I could never be any kind of medical professional. I have no attention span. And no sympathy for horrible people--I'd just let them die.

  3. I'll chime in on this one. No, they are not accurate. Well, mostly no. While in high school I watched 'Ben Casey, MD', remember that one? Every patient had a sub-dural hematoma. Weirdly the 70's one, about the paramedics, might have been called Emergency, was often somewhat accurate, if cheesy.
    Recently on netflix watched "Grey's Anatomy", the actual medicine part of it was about half-accurate. The blunders though had me shouting at the tv.

    One's actual experience as a patient in a ER depends on your symptoms. Go in with a complaint of having the flu and you're in for a long slog. You may never see a actual MD. Go in clutching the front of your shirt and complaining of tightness and pain mid-sternal and hopefully you'll get all the attention you need.
    The problem with being a ER nurse, other than having the knowledge needed, is the burn-out. In a busy ER they've seen it all, multiple times. Got a bone sticking out of your leg? Been there, seen that. Yawn. A person codes and doesn't survive despite CPR? "Sorry for your loss, folks. Next!"
    Probably more than you were asking, sorry.

    1. Appreciate the perspective. I was trying to make light of the TV med. programs, but I also have much respect for how difficult a job it must be.

    2. Actually your post inspired me to do a similarly-veined post to yours.

  4. You can get used to just about anything. All professions have their issues. We watch a lot of cop shows and they aren't accurate either. If you did in real life what these folks do you'd get fired. We always just say it makes for good television.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. My best to Mrs. Cranky. :)

  5. Doctor: “BP? Eye dilation? Temperature? Hair color? Heart rate? Height? Weight? Age? Sex? Race? Insurance?”

    Nurse: "Wait a minute this guy is so badly beat up, we are not sure it is a human! There is not insurance!"

    Doctor: "No Insurance! Stop everything, Government requires insurance for medical treatment."

    Doctor and nurses is the ER put up with so much stuff. I could not deal for the drama.

  6. My Mrs. C. is big on medical programs and she is always explaining this gibberish to me. When it get real gory I leave the room.

  7. Ha.. I remember thinking that bilirubin was an odd term way back when I was pregnant.. knowing that premies were often jaundiced and had a high bilirubin count. Until I saw how it was written, I did think it was named after a person.. Billy Rubin. Anyway, you made me laugh with that.. and with sneaking a DWI in there too.

  8. I am NEVER going to see a doctor again!!

  9. One can only pray to be unconscious if delivered by ambulance to the ER. I agree with you on the rapid fire orders. I wonder which ones are forgotten or misinterpreted.

  10. I remember watching that Emergency! show with Randolph Mantooth (what a name) and Kevin Tighe as paramedics. They were always hollering to somebody about hanging Lactated Ringer's. Today, I know that is like a dirty-water cocktail for the circulatory system.

  11. Now try to understand what the doctor is saying if he is an English as second language doctor with a very heavy accent and welcome to my world (I type medical reports dictated by doctors). All I can say is the nurses in a hospital safe the doctors' behinds on more than one occasion; they are the life blood of it.



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