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Sunday, September 28, 2014



It is time once again for
Breathalyzer measured "Gassed!"

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo. 'None of the above' may be a correct answer.



Man Orgasms 100 Times Per day – What a day!!

Miss New York crowned Miss America for third year in a row – The lone judge who voted for Miss Kansas woke up with a horse head in his bed.

Cop's Tip For Not Getting Raped By A Cop: 'Don't Get Pulled Over' – Or, keep a box of jelly donuts on the passenger seat.

Calf With '7' On Forehead Gets Football-Inspired Name – Touchdown?

Man proposes marriage via skywriting…woman responds with plane towing ‘NO!’ – I guess they were both speechless!

Long Lost High School Sweethearts Marry 63 Years Later – Lost or in hiding?

College orders fraternities to become coed – Puts a Nu meaning to “Thank you sir, may I have another.”

College to put $1M roof on building set to be demolished – It must be the Economics Department Building.

Groundhog dropped by New York City Mayor de Blasio died a week later – From now on, all New York groundhogs must be equipped with handles.

Postal carrier accused of hoarding 40,000 letters –

Kansas approves sex toy auction to settle tax debt – Dildos for dollars.

Gas Prices Continue Pullback Despite Middle East Turmoil – Clearly a case of big oil collusion.  I demand a government inquiry!


Last week’s fake headline was:

Buzz Aldrin, “Moon Landing Real, I Have Green Cheese to prove it” – I think I know who is sending those Nigerian Prince e-mails.

The Winners Are:

oh, heck, i'll go for green cheese since i'm a cheesehead by birth.

A Cheesehead?  This shouldn’t even count!  Oh well, visit TWG @ for the best photo blog from someone not named Hilary.    


Joe, I need to kill my new Google news feed. I've read every one of these, except Buzz Aldrin and his green cheese. The man has nothing to prove.
Maybe you could switch to Al Jazera news, instead of Fox.

I have reported Joanne to Homeland Security, find her @ before she is pulled in for questioning.


OK, I'm back--I'll go with the green cheese. Unless the craters in the moon are actually swiss cheese holes!!

She’s Baaaaack! Find fIshducky @ Because we can all use a little fishducky in our life.


Well, you'd better believe Buzz Aldrin, or he'll punch you in the face! Still...I can't see him making the green cheese statement. I'm bobbing and weaving and calling Buzz Aldrin the fake.

Apparently green cheese and auction meat don’t go well together.  Look for Val @ She is like a box of chocolates cause…well, you know.


Damn I was gonna go for whatever Sandee went for :-)
I will go for Moon Landing Real, I Have Green Cheese to prove it

Got it even without Sandee’s help! Go to @ for a daily laugh.   


                       Stephen Hayes

                      Green cheese sounds bogus to me.

                      Im in trouble when I can’t even fool Stephen.

For some of the best stories in the blogesphere visit my liberal friend @ sometimes even his politics makes sense!



Buzz Aldrin, “Moon Landing Real, I Have Green Cheese to prove it”, is my pick this week. I just can't guy this one.

Have a fabulous day Cranky. :)

AGAIN!! Good jokes everyday @ I think Sandee might be fishducky in disguise.


  1. well, dang. a whole crowd of correct folks last week!

    i'll pick kansas this week.

  2. Man eats underwear? First of all why drink and drive. Secondly the medical bills for the pain caused by eating underwear will probably be more than the traffic ticket.

  3. The world has gone mad. Oh wait, it's always been mad. I think I'll pass on guessing this week and see what everyone else comes up with.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. My best to Mrs. Cranky. ☺

  4. I'm gonna go for "Kansas approves sex toy auction to settle tax debt " LOL

    Have a crankytastic day ;-)

  5. Not the kind of toy I'd recycle...

  6. My guess is "Man proposes marriage via skywriting…woman responds with plane towing ‘NO!’" Am I right?

  7. I'm going with the 100 times a day. There's very few things you can do 100 times in a day. I don't think I could eat chocolate 100 times a day, and I am very, very good at eating chocolate! So that man...definitely not.

  8. Fresh from my victory last week, I overconfidently declare this week's fake to be the Cop's Rape Advice.

    Yes, I was sorely tempted by the implausible logistics of the skywriting/banner marriage proposal refusal. But maybe she told him she would have to think about it, then arranged for the banner at the designated response place and time.

  9. Sex toys in Kansas? I don't think so. Don't they rely on farm animals?

  10. I am really hoping the cop one is fake... but it sadly is probably not!

  11. I am going with "Man Orgasms 100 Times Per day" this week. Every man's dream but only a dream. If it is true someone is very sore and fires to quickly.

  12. Skywriting for mine! Love this list, as always.

  13. You're always so entertaining. You cracked me up with "Newman!"

    I'm going to go with the skywriting one for two reasons:
    1- I can't imagine someone who is not invested in her partner, putting out the kind of money required to hire a plane - just to turn down a proposal.
    2- I don't think I generally see ellipses in a headline. ;)

  14. I'll try "none of the above." Soooo many crazy people out there that I'm sure there's a match for each one of these bizarre fetes!