CREEPY, THY NAME IS
TOWNHOUSE
The front
door neighbors are door slammer and heavy footed people. When they are up and about you could swear
they are in your down stairs stealing food from the refrigerator.
The back
door neighbors are quiet, except when their teenagers decide to listen to
whatever they call music today. I’d
complain except they seem like otherwise good kids. I do hate that their rap “music” gets stuck
in my head and I go through the day with rhymes for “Ho,” “doe (door),” “go,”
“flo (floor),” “grow,” “bo (boy)” and “dough” running through my head.
Anyway.
Because of
the creaks, bangs, clangs and rap coming from around our house, we are always
careful to lock up all possible entrances, otherwise I would constantly be
checking out rooms and closets to make sure the creepy noises were not coming
from inside.
The
testosterone step-crank does not understand this issue and never locks up after
he enters or leaves the house. If he was
not a such good kid, this would cause me to wring his neck.
In addition
to making sure we always lock-up, we have an alarm system which even when not
set will emit a “beep, beep, beep” whenever an entrance is compromised.
Last night
while in bed and waiting for Mrs. C to come home from work, I swear I heard the
“beep, beep, beep.” I waited for about
five minutes for Mrs. C to climb the stairs.
Nothing.
I went down
stairs to check.
No one,
nothing.
The door was
still locked.
I went
outside to see if Mrs. C’s car was in the driveway. It was not, but the security light over the
garage door which is motion activated was on.
CREEPY.
Ten minutes
later Mrs. Cranky came home. I told her
of the mysterious “Beep, beep, beep.”
“There was someone in the basement,” she announced with surprising certainty.
“What?”
“While you were playing golf, I was
in the kitchen, and the door to the basement kept opening and closing. I think someone was waiting for me to go
upstairs so they could leave.”
“Why didn’t they leave when you went
to work.”
“Because I set the motion alarm, it
would go off as soon as they moved from the basement. When you came home the
alarm was off, he waited until you went upstairs and then made his getaway.”
“But they would be gone, what would
they care if they set off an alarm? And how was the door locked”
“I’m just saying. And by the way that is why I want you to
always leave the door to the basement open, when it opens on itself it creeps
me out.” (That is a
whole nother story.)
“Well how did this person get in?”
“I don’t know, is the hidden key
still outside in its place?”
The scenario
Mrs. C proposed was ridiculous, but she has a sixth sense that I have learned
should not be dismissed.
“I’ll check.”
“Not now, you’ll let in the moths that
are hanging around the outside lamp.”
“What? I’m supposed to sleep tonight
after you planted the idea that someone has a key to our house that makes
creepy noises all the time and I can’t check because a moth may get in? A friggin moth? What about a creepy person?”
“You know I hate bugs in the house!”
The key was
in its place. The “beep, beep, beep”
remained a mystery, one of those things you convince yourself later was
just your imagination.
Still, I
slept like a baby.
When you
live in a creepy house you learn to ignore the creepiness.
I never turn my alarm on. I have a dog who sees/hears EVERY THING!
ReplyDeleteoh, that would make me crazy!
ReplyDeleteThat would make me crazy, too--except probably wouldn't hear it!!
ReplyDeleteWell that's creepy indeed. You two have such interesting lives. You really do. Then there are your conversations. Even more interesting.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific day. ☺
Ah, yes, with fishducky on this one. I'd check, then take out my hearing aids and sleep like a baby.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I bet you have raccoons on your porch.
ReplyDeleteOnce in awhile I think about acquiring a townhouse in Portland, but this post has set me back 5 years on that line of thinking.
Your first commenter beat me to my best advice for you. Get a dog like we have. Nobody will get in, dead or alive! Sleep in heavenly peace!
ReplyDeleteOK, you seriously have to get yourself out of there man.
ReplyDeleteThis is why we live on the outskirts, so the townhouse people don't get us.
I also live in a townhouse but no creaking so far, thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteI would never sleep again with that going on. Pretty sure I'd set up a camera.
ReplyDeleteMaybe rent a dog??
I live in a regular house, but I've heard my kitchen door open and close. Even convinced myself that it was my husband's friend from up the road who just let himself in. Nope. Open. Close. Nobody there.
ReplyDeleteI'd think I imagined it, if it wasn't for that headless man I saw in the basement.
I lived in a town home once with a super obnoxious neighbor who played music until 3 am. I made sure I called him at 6 am. Pre-caller ID.
ReplyDeleteAs a kid I was scared of basements and attics. My current house has neither. Or creepy noises.
ReplyDeleteThe only time I heard something loud and unexplainable, we had to investigate until I found it. It was a hook for the shower scrunchy lather thingy that had been fastened to the bathtub wall in the guest bathroom. I guess the moisture that kept the hook fastenend to the wall had dried up and the thing just popped off and fell into the tub. It took a loooooonnnnnnggggg time to figure that out!
Have you asked yourself why Mrs. Cranky did not warn you that this was going on? You need to get out of that townhouse. Maybe the previous owner had an extra key made and comes back to see what he can steal! (?)
ReplyDeleteim sry master cranky, most times i dont have my key on hand and i keep forgetting about the spare. it never stays in my mind.
ReplyDeleteI think I lived in a haunted hause when I was growing up; there were some strange occurrences there; another story for another day.
ReplyDeleteWe have those security bars on our windows and doors; best investment hubby's parents did (hubby inherited the house on their passing). I feel totally secure, as long as everyone remembers to lock the doors. Makes it nice on those cool nights to let the air in to cool down the house.
Those beep beeps of yours would have me a bit concerned. I think I'd be carrying a bat around for a bit.
betty
Makes me glad I don't have a basement. I love that creepy house image you have up there.
ReplyDeleteI cannot stand the type of music that the teens listen to today! (if it can be called music)
ReplyDeleteHilarious post! When I lived in a trailer they told us that it takes about a year for one to "settle" I used to swear I could hear the cinder blocks settling. I can only imagine living in a townhome. In a trailer park only about 6 ft of yard separates each trailer. I used to be able to hear the beer bottles rattle in the neighbors fridge! :)
ReplyDeleteBy some trick of the light or something when you walk from my garden towards the back door your reflection in the dining room window walks in the opposite direction - it really freaked me out the first couple of times it happened to me!
ReplyDelete