MRS. CRANKY THE EDITOR
Except for
on Thursdays, my wife doesn’t often read my posts. Thursday is “Mrs. Cranky Thursday” and
usually recounts a recent conversation between the Cranky’s. Mrs. C reads those posts so she can defend
herself in comments. I tell her no need
to defend yourself, most of the readers seem to take her side.
Anyway.
Every once
and a while I ask her to read a post before I hit “submit.” I do this to make
sure I don’t insult someone, or just for her opinion if the post if funny or crap. Mrs. C thinks it is her duty to assure the
historical accuracy of a post.
“We went there in August, not July
and it was two years ago, not three.”
“I know, but August is not a funny
month. July just sounds funnier, and odd
numbers are always funnier than even numbers.”
“But it was not in July, and it was
two years ago!”
“Who cares, what is the difference?”
“It’s just not accurate!”
“I hardly think some lady in Brussels
who reads this post will give a hoot about the month or the year. I think she will find it more humorous if the
month is July and it happened three years ago.”
“That’s just dumb. Why is July funnier than August, and why
three years ago better than two years ago.”
“July just sounds funnier to me, and
I once read where comedians always use odd numbers in their routines because
for some reason even numbers aren’t funny.”
“I think, for one, August is funnier
than July and is also accurate; and two,
I think even numbers are funnier than odd numbers.”
“Your first point is funny because
one is odd, and odd is funny, the second point is not funny because it is point
number two. If you had said ‘and three…’
it would have been funny. See how that
works.”
“WHAT?
You are a jerk!”
“Look regardless of the month or the
number of years, did you like the post or not?”
“It’s OK. I just find the inaccuracies
distracting. I wish it were more
accurate.”
“OK, thanks, I’ll change it to August
and two years ago.”
“Thank you!”
Actually I
am leaving the month as July and it happened three years ago. Mrs. Cranky never reads my posts anyway.
I may be a
jerk, but I still think it is funnier my way.
I understand why you like to use writer's right to do what you want to with your writing, but editing is not an easy task either.
ReplyDeleteWell it made me smile (but I'm not sure if I'm laughing with you or at you ...)
ReplyDeleteAs I have said again and again, there is no story that cannot be improved by omission of facts. And you may quote me.
ReplyDeleteI like Mrs. Cranky and so do you. I'm not going to bash her for anything and you can tell her that. I think the both of you have lots of fun together. If you didn't you wouldn't be asking her for her opinion on your blog posts.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day you two. ☺
Although you offer pithy commentary with a dose of truth, I think your primary goal is to entertain with humor. Making people laugh is like a drug, and it can be a dangerous occupation with the ever-present risk of offending someone. Speaking for myself, I write many things I think are funny and MY editor is excellent at pointing out when I've strayed into the land of offense or bad taste. I think you do an excellent job of including Mrs. Cranky in your blog and I do enjoy her impute. God knows what you'd say or do without her.
ReplyDeleteI hope this is as positive and complimentary as I intended it to be.
Everyone with a sense of humor knows odd numbers are funnier--even a JERK!!
ReplyDeleteI received an e-mail this morning from a woman in Brussels. She said she used to follow your blog until you insulted her. The entire nation of Belgium knows September is the funniest month. In Europe, you have been assigned three numbers - 000. However, they cannot determine whether they are odd or even.
ReplyDeleteI thin your Editor should be writing some guest posts.. I suspect she'd also be a hoot. And accurate. ;)
ReplyDeleteCome on, drop the BS and tell the truth ;-)
ReplyDeleteThink you ought to do a Cranky version then a Mrs. C version in the same post and let us judge. Just make sure you do it on an odd day in July.
ReplyDeleteI think editors have a tough position in life. Even though we know everything, and better than anyone else.
ReplyDeleteI hope next time she writes out her edits. Then we can try to decipher her writing, which is always pretty funny. And it will give her another reason to call you a jerk! See? We all win. More handwriting samples from Mrs. Cranky!
ReplyDeleteI don't worry too much about accuracy in my posts. If I can't quite remember when something happened, I'll fake it. Nobody who knows me in real life reads them, so no one can call me on it.
ReplyDeleteAt our house it's my husband who is honest to the point of just-want-to-strangle-him-annoyance. There's poetic license (which I indulge myself in freely) and then there's calling a house guest the next day to correct a minor error I made in recalling a story that happened a half century ago in grade school. I guess our homes share similar maladies. One of the occupants is a liar and the other is nuts!
ReplyDelete