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Thursday, September 18, 2014

MRS. CRANKY THE EDITOR


MRS. CRANKY THE EDITOR
Except for on Thursdays, my wife doesn’t often read my posts.  Thursday is “Mrs. Cranky Thursday” and usually recounts a recent conversation between the Cranky’s.  Mrs. C reads those posts so she can defend herself in comments.  I tell her no need to defend yourself, most of the readers seem to take her side.

Anyway.

Every once and a while I ask her to read a post before I hit “submit.” I do this to make sure I don’t insult someone, or just for her opinion if the post if funny or crap.  Mrs. C thinks it is her duty to assure the historical accuracy of a post.

“We went there in August, not July and it was two years ago, not three.”

“I know, but August is not a funny month.  July just sounds funnier, and odd numbers are always funnier than even numbers.”

“But it was not in July, and it was two years ago!”

“Who cares, what is the difference?”

“It’s just not accurate!”

“I hardly think some lady in Brussels who reads this post will give a hoot about the month or the year.  I think she will find it more humorous if the month is July and it happened three years ago.”

“That’s just dumb.  Why is July funnier than August, and why three years ago better than two years ago.”

“July just sounds funnier to me, and I once read where comedians always use odd numbers in their routines because for some reason even numbers aren’t funny.”

“I think, for one, August is funnier than July and is also accurate;  and two, I think even numbers are funnier than odd numbers.”

“Your first point is funny because one is odd, and odd is funny, the second point is not funny because it is point number two.  If you had said ‘and three…’ it would have been funny.  See how that works.”

“WHAT?

You are a jerk!”

“Look regardless of the month or the number of years, did you like the post or not?”

“It’s OK.  I just find the inaccuracies distracting.  I wish it were more accurate.”

“OK, thanks, I’ll change it to August and two years ago.”

“Thank you!”

Actually I am leaving the month as July and it happened three years ago.  Mrs. Cranky never reads my posts anyway.

I may be a jerk, but I still think it is funnier my way.

15 comments:

  1. I understand why you like to use writer's right to do what you want to with your writing, but editing is not an easy task either.

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  2. Well it made me smile (but I'm not sure if I'm laughing with you or at you ...)

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  3. As I have said again and again, there is no story that cannot be improved by omission of facts. And you may quote me.

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  4. I like Mrs. Cranky and so do you. I'm not going to bash her for anything and you can tell her that. I think the both of you have lots of fun together. If you didn't you wouldn't be asking her for her opinion on your blog posts.

    Have a fabulous day you two. ☺

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  5. Although you offer pithy commentary with a dose of truth, I think your primary goal is to entertain with humor. Making people laugh is like a drug, and it can be a dangerous occupation with the ever-present risk of offending someone. Speaking for myself, I write many things I think are funny and MY editor is excellent at pointing out when I've strayed into the land of offense or bad taste. I think you do an excellent job of including Mrs. Cranky in your blog and I do enjoy her impute. God knows what you'd say or do without her.

    I hope this is as positive and complimentary as I intended it to be.

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  6. Everyone with a sense of humor knows odd numbers are funnier--even a JERK!!

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  7. I received an e-mail this morning from a woman in Brussels. She said she used to follow your blog until you insulted her. The entire nation of Belgium knows September is the funniest month. In Europe, you have been assigned three numbers - 000. However, they cannot determine whether they are odd or even.

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  8. I thin your Editor should be writing some guest posts.. I suspect she'd also be a hoot. And accurate. ;)

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  9. Come on, drop the BS and tell the truth ;-)

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  10. Think you ought to do a Cranky version then a Mrs. C version in the same post and let us judge. Just make sure you do it on an odd day in July.

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  11. I think editors have a tough position in life. Even though we know everything, and better than anyone else.

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  12. I hope next time she writes out her edits. Then we can try to decipher her writing, which is always pretty funny. And it will give her another reason to call you a jerk! See? We all win. More handwriting samples from Mrs. Cranky!

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  13. I don't worry too much about accuracy in my posts. If I can't quite remember when something happened, I'll fake it. Nobody who knows me in real life reads them, so no one can call me on it.

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  14. At our house it's my husband who is honest to the point of just-want-to-strangle-him-annoyance. There's poetic license (which I indulge myself in freely) and then there's calling a house guest the next day to correct a minor error I made in recalling a story that happened a half century ago in grade school. I guess our homes share similar maladies. One of the occupants is a liar and the other is nuts!

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