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Monday, April 6, 2015



I think there is a thirteenth unwritten step, “Don’t drink alcohol!”


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

One headline may be fake.  Guess the fake and win a mention and a WHOOP-TEE-DOO.  None of the above may be a correct answer.

Comment moderation is on for one day.


Portland baffled by pink animal sighting – Has a certain talented artist been out sunbathing again?

Ohio assisted living facility bares all for calendar – I’d rather not know what day it is.

Pennsylvania woman posed as lawyer for decade – She would have continued to get away with it, but she failed to screw one of her clients.

Oklahoma teen sets record for cow patty leap – He can keep his shitty record!

Minnesota weatherman leaves hanger in his suit – This would not be news except he was still wearing it.

Ohio Woman Accused Of Stabbing Boyfriend For Eating All The Salsa – She only stabbed him once…no double dip.

Cornell dean says ISIS welcome on campus – “Far above Cayuga’s Waters there’s an awful smell, some say its Cayuga’s waters, some say it’s …”

IRS Ethics Office Lawyer Disbarred For Ethics Violations – An unethical ethics lawyer?  Clearly this is the fake.

Adam West, Burt Ward promise return to Batman and Robin in 2016 – Holy utility belt Robin, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Portland Carpet has Celebrity Status – I should be famous, lots of people walk all over me.

Arkansas man's kidney failure stemmed from too much iced tea – Two months after I started ordering iced tea with dinner instead of scotch, I developed nasty kidney stones.  The doc told me to order lemonade.

Miss BumBum winner goes under knife to get virginity restored – Butt, Butt can you really do that?


*Thanks to Frog and Marty for Stupid Headline submissions.


Last week’s fake was:

Kim K. Says spinach wrap helps plump her butt – She’s plump in the sittish cause she wraps up in spinach she’s Kim K the big can ma’am.

And the only winner:

This week most of them sound fake, but I'd guess it's Kim K. Says spinach wrap helps plump her butt

If I am ever on “Millionaire” Fran will be my plus one!  Visit fishducky


Eleven people guessed wrong, Sandee forgot to come back and guess, Val thought too long…again


I've got my eye on Porn At Work for the fake. Those sites can be blocked, and if the workers are using their own devices, I'm pretty sure you can't infringe on their rights.

I was sorely tempted by Kim K the Big Can Ma'am, because what are the odds that such a headline would lend itself to your sophomoric comment?

And Stephen was disqualified for cheating, but gets credit for originality!

I pick the melting snow statue. I don't care that this is last week's fake headline; this is the only way I can win.

Congratulate our winner and come back next week for more



  1. I think it's Oklahoma teen sets record for cow patty leap--I hope someone could make it on their first try!!

  2. going for batman and robin return. :)

  3. This time i'm going to guess it's the one about the Oklahoma teen and the cow patties. There are cow chip throwing championships that i know about, but no contests for leaping over the stuff.

  4. Will bugger on not coming back. I got sidetracked or something. Probably the or something.

    Oklahoma teen sets record for cow patty leap is my pick.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. My best to Mrs. Cranky. ☺

  5. Adam West and Burt Ward in tights would be a new wrinkle in horror movies but I still think it's fake.

  6. The naked elderly. I doubt they would go the full monty route.

  7. Hey Joe, I've heard of tossing cow patties but never leaping then, not in a contest anyways, So I'll go with this one.

  8. I was out sunbathing in the nude today in Portland and I didn't see a single strange pink animal. So disappointing! Can I get MY virginity restored? I pick that one.

  9. Hmm...I need to analyze (heh, heh, I said ANALyze) these headlines thoroughly, because that tactic has served me so well in the past.

    My pick for fake is Miss BumBum and her re-tooled virginity. Just because who would want to compete to be Miss BumBum? Besides Kim K the Big Can Ma'am.

    I thought perhaps it might be the woman POSING as a lawyer. Would a man be posing as a lawyer? No. He would be masquerading as a lawyer, or impersonating a lawyer. But I figured you wouldn't make up the wording in such a sexist manner, or Mrs. C would call you a jerk.

    Also, TWO from Portland are mighty suspicious, but maybe you were just wanted to pay tribute to Stephen, so they caught your eye.

  10. Man charged with DUI after leaving AA meeting? No wonder that AA chapter was so popular, what with the tailgate party in the parking lot before the meeting.

  11. I will guess the assisted living calendar...that's just weird!