THE STUPIDEST BIRD
We did have
binoculars and a “Birds of North America” book at the ready for the few
instances when a new bird species dropped by…always an exciting event.
So I am a
bird appreciator, an amateur birder.
Most birds
seem pretty intelligent. They are wary
of other species and wary of humans.
They are skillful at finding and retrieving food even in difficult winter
conditions. The food we leave out is
appreciated, but they would survive without human intervention; except for the
urban pigeon.
The city
pigeons, also known as flying rats are without a doubt the stupidest bird in the
world. This bird could not survive
without humans and human leftovers.
They have no fear of man; they could be caught with ease if they were a
needed food source. I suppose the
argument could be made that they are smart to know humans will not harm them
and they are smart to get easy feed from hanging close to humans.
Why then, do
I say they are so stupid? First they
walk stupid. They cannot move a leg without also moving their head…stupid. They look like bass guitar players without
the rhythm and talent. That is not why they are stupid.
The pigeon
lives off left over scraps of bread.
They eat it stupid.
The pigeon pecks at the bread getting only tiny pieces with each peck. Then in order to break the bread down to a smaller size, he picks it up and shakes it. Most of the shaken bread flies away from him and is grabbed by another pigeon. He is left with only a crumb.
They eat it stupid.
The pigeon pecks at the bread getting only tiny pieces with each peck. Then in order to break the bread down to a smaller size, he picks it up and shakes it. Most of the shaken bread flies away from him and is grabbed by another pigeon. He is left with only a crumb.
Every time
the pigeon picks up a piece of bread to shake a smaller piece loose, he misses
stepping on it by less than a quarter of an inch. It just drives me crazy watching them.
“Step on it you stupid bird! Just
step on the fucking piece of bread and it will stay put for you to peck away at
your heart’s content!”
They never
do, they always just miss stepping on the bread. Not one friggin bird has thought of stepping
on the bread. Not once has a pigeon
accidentally stepped on the bread and realized,
“WOW, this is way better then
flinging it all over and then having to fight those other birds for it!”
Nope, not
figuring it out, accidentally or otherwise.
Stupid bird!
Even though you may do it t home, they frown on you stepping on your bread in really fine restaurants!!
ReplyDeleteHubby told a story once of a friend of his from the Phillipines (I think) that considered pidgeon a food group. The friend shot pidgeon (abundant in San Diego as I'm sure so many other places) and prepared a meal with it for a pot luck for work. People ate it, enjoyed it.....until they found out what it was......
ReplyDeleteThey kind of scare me.
betty
I have a mean feeling toward the crows that leave the countryside and enter the city to molest the song birds. Why don't they remain where there is plenty of roadkill for them and stay away from the food for the little birds. It beats me.
ReplyDeleteStill when I was in my twenties downtown Akron and Cleveland were awash in pigeons. They separated as we walked through crowds of them. Then the peregrine falcons were brought to town and ended the pigeon era.
ReplyDeletei'm laughing at your frustration. :)
ReplyDeleteand i have a 'north american birds' hardcover book here - was one of my favorites for many years. the spine is falling apart. :)
I think I must be stupid as well, because I am eternally entertained by the way pigeons walk.
ReplyDeleteMourning doves are just as bad, have you ever observed them out in the yard? In our old house, they would be constantly crashing into the living room windows and knocking themselves unconscious, which resulted in the hawks sitting on the swingset all afternoon, just waiting...
The town pigeons are just as stupid.
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ReplyDeleteYes, and they don't taste good either. They do not, I repeat do not taste like chicken. Had it at a theater in San Francisco. It may be stupid, but it taste bad too.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
heh!
ReplyDeleteI once had a theology professor in college tell us that some things just have to be assumed, even though there's no visual proof. His example was baby pigeons, which I later learned were called squabs.You never see a baby pigeon, but surely they must exist. I get uncomfortable when I'm in places with flocks of pigeons or any other kind of bird. Probably because of a scary movie I saw as a kid.
ReplyDeletePigeons aren't too smart, and you should see the horrible nests doves build. It's a wonder they ever have babies that survive, the nests fall apart. We've had to rescue baby doves and take them to the wildlife hospital to be raised and released because the nests fall apart so easily. Not very bright birds.
ReplyDeleteBirds aren't the brightest crayon in the box.Guess that'w why they're called bird brains.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Of course, they probably don't think we're too bright, either, since we're the ones always feeding them. In fact, they may think we work for them...
ReplyDeleteOK, if you are such a bird expert, can you tell me where birds sat before telephone wires???
ReplyDeleteThey're doing something right, or they would be extinct.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of pigeons, they used to poop all over mum's washing, so it became my job to sit out there and keep them away.
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