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Tuesday, April 7, 2015



 I love birds.  My mom instilled bird loving in me at a very young age.  No, we weren’t over the top bird watchers, marching through the woods with camo and binoculars keeping track of every species we saw.  We were backyard birders, viewing the many species that would come to our feeder.  When my folks moved to the Eastern Shore, Md. We added water fowl to our backyard viewing.

We did have binoculars and a “Birds of North America” book at the ready for the few instances when a new bird species dropped by…always an exciting event.

So I am a bird appreciator, an amateur birder. 

Most birds seem pretty intelligent.  They are wary of other species and wary of humans.  They are skillful at finding and retrieving food even in difficult winter conditions.  The food we leave out is appreciated, but they would survive without human intervention; except for the urban pigeon.

The city pigeons, also known as flying rats are without a doubt the stupidest bird in the world.   This bird could not survive without humans and human leftovers.  They have no fear of man; they could be caught with ease if they were a needed food source.  I suppose the argument could be made that they are smart to know humans will not harm them and they are smart to get easy feed from hanging close to humans.

Why then, do I say they are so stupid?  First they walk stupid. They cannot move a leg without also moving their head…stupid.  They look like bass guitar players without the rhythm and talent. That is not why they are stupid.

The pigeon lives off left over scraps of bread. 

They eat it stupid. 

The pigeon pecks at the bread getting only tiny pieces with each peck.  Then in order to break the bread down to a smaller size, he picks it up and shakes it.  Most of the shaken bread flies away from him and is grabbed by another pigeon.  He is left with only a crumb.

Every time the pigeon picks up a piece of bread to shake a smaller piece loose, he misses stepping on it by less than a quarter of an inch.  It just drives me crazy watching them.

“Step on it you stupid bird! Just step on the fucking piece of bread and it will stay put for you to peck away at your heart’s content!”

They never do, they always just miss stepping on the bread.  Not one friggin bird has thought of stepping on the bread.  Not once has a pigeon accidentally stepped on the bread and realized,

“WOW, this is way better then flinging it all over and then having to fight  those other birds for it!”

Nope, not figuring it out, accidentally or otherwise.

Stupid bird!


  1. Even though you may do it t home, they frown on you stepping on your bread in really fine restaurants!!

  2. Hubby told a story once of a friend of his from the Phillipines (I think) that considered pidgeon a food group. The friend shot pidgeon (abundant in San Diego as I'm sure so many other places) and prepared a meal with it for a pot luck for work. People ate it, enjoyed it.....until they found out what it was......

    They kind of scare me.


  3. I have a mean feeling toward the crows that leave the countryside and enter the city to molest the song birds. Why don't they remain where there is plenty of roadkill for them and stay away from the food for the little birds. It beats me.

  4. Still when I was in my twenties downtown Akron and Cleveland were awash in pigeons. They separated as we walked through crowds of them. Then the peregrine falcons were brought to town and ended the pigeon era.

  5. i'm laughing at your frustration. :)

    and i have a 'north american birds' hardcover book here - was one of my favorites for many years. the spine is falling apart. :)

  6. I think I must be stupid as well, because I am eternally entertained by the way pigeons walk.

    Mourning doves are just as bad, have you ever observed them out in the yard? In our old house, they would be constantly crashing into the living room windows and knocking themselves unconscious, which resulted in the hawks sitting on the swingset all afternoon, just waiting...

  7. The town pigeons are just as stupid.

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  9. Yes, and they don't taste good either. They do not, I repeat do not taste like chicken. Had it at a theater in San Francisco. It may be stupid, but it taste bad too.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

  10. I once had a theology professor in college tell us that some things just have to be assumed, even though there's no visual proof. His example was baby pigeons, which I later learned were called squabs.You never see a baby pigeon, but surely they must exist. I get uncomfortable when I'm in places with flocks of pigeons or any other kind of bird. Probably because of a scary movie I saw as a kid.

  11. Pigeons aren't too smart, and you should see the horrible nests doves build. It's a wonder they ever have babies that survive, the nests fall apart. We've had to rescue baby doves and take them to the wildlife hospital to be raised and released because the nests fall apart so easily. Not very bright birds.

  12. Birds aren't the brightest crayon in the box.Guess that'w why they're called bird brains.

  13. Hilarious! Of course, they probably don't think we're too bright, either, since we're the ones always feeding them. In fact, they may think we work for them...

  14. OK, if you are such a bird expert, can you tell me where birds sat before telephone wires???

  15. They're doing something right, or they would be extinct.

  16. I'm not a fan of pigeons, they used to poop all over mum's washing, so it became my job to sit out there and keep them away.


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