Stupid Headlines 090218
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| Who Knew? |
This weeks stupid headlines and my
even stupider sometimes sophomoric comments
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US Open official draws ire after
penalizing female player who fixed shirt mid-match – Oooh, the crowd saw her back wearing
only a sports bra for about 3.5 seconds!
What are we, in third grade?
L.A. to rename Rodeo Road after
former President Obama – That is Obama’s first rodeo.
Endangered turtles found dead in
illegal nets – Found
dead is about as endangered as it gets.
'Sexually frustrated' dolphin
terrorizes tourists at French beach – Time to add a “D” to LGBTQ.
Bikini baristas hit with court brief
demanding they cover up – If you are going to be prudish, give them more than briefs to cover up!
California requires women in the
boardroom – Woo Hoo!...oh, they have to be members of the board…never mind.
How Stumpy's turned hatchet-throwing
into a fast-growing business – Hatchet throwing and BYO booze, what could go wrong? Ask Stumpy.
Shark attack survivor says tactic he
learned from nature documentaries saved his life – He used the number two tactic, punch
the shark in the gills, the number one tactic is DON’T SWIM WITH SEALS!
United is raising
the price of checked bags – Who the heck has checked bags, most are
solid or maybe two-toned, but checked? Huh? Oh…never mind.
Vodka-powered motorcycle sets speed
record – Vodka and
motorcycle should NEVER go together.
Florida man arrested after he
allegedly gave girlfriend a 'wet willy*’ – If that’s a crime, my brother should be doing hard
time!
*It’s a spit covered pinky in the ear
for my UK friends who maybe thinking something else.
Feel-Good Story of the
Week
2-year-old who overcame the odds and
learned to walk inspires millions – Turning sadness into a positive!
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/2-year-old-who-overcame-the-odds-and-learned-to-walk-inspires-millions/
For some strange reason - swimming in the ocean has never been a desire of mine. Must go back to the time I saw JAWS. That cured me in a hurry.
ReplyDeleteI don't even watch the news anymore so coming here is about the only way I'm going to hear about these things. Thank you for that. I will say the news is still as weird as ever.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
I guess Stumpy went for something safer than Kramer's "bake your own pizza" concept.
ReplyDeleteExcellent, just as I expected!!
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard the term wet willie in years.
ReplyDeleteR
Excellent list, as usual. That little boy is too precious.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you brought back Stupid Headlines. Without these, people might forget about Florida!
ReplyDeleteVodka powered motorcycles? I don't need the competition. It's hard enought o get a drink around here.
ReplyDeleteBooze and hatchet-throwing. . . how do you suppose he got the nickname 'Stumpy'?
ReplyDeleteYou know I love all your stupid headlines and have a good laugh, but frankly that 2yr old walking..well that was just so darn wonderful..heck, I'm going to go get a kleenex now!
ReplyDelete