STUPID HEADLINE 082618
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| Maybe a politician can figure it out |
Teen gets head stuck in exhaust pipe
at country music festival – I’ve always thought country music makes your brain shrink.
Judge says serving powdered milk to
prisoners is not, in fact, cruel punishment – Except when you are not
allowed to mix it with water.
Survey says America's favorite
vegetable is broccoli – Is this the same survey that said Clinton would win?
'Pregnant' male models steal the show
at London Fashion Week – And also at Ripley’s.
Are windowless planes the future of
travel? – Have they
asked pilots about this idea?
Colombians urged to stop having sex
because it's too damn hot – Is it ok for fat and ugly Columbians?
Beer delivery men save the life of
potential bridge jumper – “Wait, don’t jump…WE HAVE BEER!”
Mexico City bans use of attractive
models during city events – “We the jury find the accused not guilty by reason of ‘she
ugly!’”
North Carolina mom in 'disbelief'
after son, 10, punished for calling teacher 'ma'am' – In the school’s defense, the teacher,
Mr. Andrews, asked to be addressed as ‘Sir’ several times.
MIT develops wireless system to let
subs communicate with planes – The old wire to wire hook-up worked ok for communication, but
the subs had issues trying to keep up with the planes.
Democrats strip power away from super-delegates
– They are now
called mediocre-delegates
Good News Story of the
Week:
Sea Urchins Save Coral Reefs – I love a good sea urchin story, almost
as much as a good dog saving story.
Glad to see one of my favorite posts back. Are windows taking up too much room 9n those planes? Well we cant have that.
ReplyDeleteHave you been saving these up? They're unusually funny! Maybe I just really missed them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the City can appoint a commission to get to the bottom of the sewer thing.
Now that teen has inspiration to write a song. Maybe the prisoners can eat a milk toast to celebrate for him. I hope nobody tells them about the free beer for the would-be jumper. That would be cruel and unusual punishment.
ReplyDeletePlease keep doing Stupid Headlines--I love them!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing back the Stupid Headlines, Joe! I love these.
ReplyDeleteMaternity clothes for men - the next Big Thing. . . First dibs on the trademark for 'Manternity'. . .
These always give me a chuckle!
ReplyDeleteAbout that potential bridge jumper - they probably told him that "beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
ReplyDeleteThank your brother for me. And the sea urchins.
ReplyDelete"Are windowless planes the future of travel?" "Coffee? Tea? Super strong tranquilizer?"
ReplyDeleteThese made me laugh - but as someone who used to write headlines as a sub-editor, I'm not laughing too loudly! My favourite headlines on the last newspaper I worked on (neither of them mine, I hasten to add) was the one where the L had been missed out of PUBLIC and the one that called draft regulations, daft regulations.
ReplyDeleteThanks to your brother for bringing these back...I needed a good laugh today! The beer story reminded me of one of our Docs who said he drove a beer truck in the summer when he was in college. He said it was the best job he ever had...better than medicine because he said everyone LOVED the beer guy!
ReplyDelete