This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Friday, January 25, 2013



When I was a non-retired man, virtually every working day ended with one of my wives asking, “How was your day?”  My answer was the same as every other working man’s answer when posed with that daily wifely inquiry, “Fine.”

As sure as the sun rises in the east, this response was then followed by thirty minutes of why my wife had just experienced the worst day ever.

Don’t get me wrong, I know a SAHM’s* day is no picnic.  I just wonder if the average SAHM has any idea that her husband’s job also is not a bed of roses.  How could they, we never tell them. 

“How was your day?” is wife code for “brace yourself, have I got some shit to tell you!”  Well now I am going to finally answer that question.  Skip to the next blog if you wish, I understand, my wives would have never listened either.

“How was my day you ask?”  Here was my typical day.

The alarm woke me at 6:00 am and I hopped in the shower.  After showering and shaving, I dressed using a tee shirt I found in the dryer which was still slightly damp, but I didn’t have time to run it through again. Dressed, I did not have time for breakfast.  

I jumped into my car to find the windshield was frosted over.  I did not have time to warm the car up, and the defroster didn’t work, so I melted a hole in the frost with a Bic lighter.  With four inches of visibility I drove for the train.

At the light on Rt. 1, the car stalled out because the gas filter clogged again.  I jumped out, pulled the gas filter and blew out the crap causing the clog.  I only missed one light doing this so I still had a chance to catch my train.  I did in fact catch the train, but only after running full speed and hopping on just as it was pulling out of the station.  It was a good day; I managed to get a seat.  I did not have time to get a paper or coffee which I could have used to get the taste of gasoline from the filter out of my mouth.

 I almost caught a nap but first Joe “The Blind Guy” woke me to ask if the seat was taken, and then the conductor nudged me because he could not read the date on the ticket I had displayed in the seat ticket holder.

After 40 minutes we got to Newark and I changed for the Path train to downtown NYC.  I did not get a seat. There were lots of sweaty people with arm pits in my face for another twenty minutes.  At 9:00 am I arrived at work just before starting time for my job as a supervisor for a brokerage firm, processing security orders and executions.

One of my clerks, Lou, was late to work again and I had to reprimand him after listening to his lame excuse.  I got into a fight with an arrogant broker who demanded I adjust the price of a trade or he would have me fired.  My boss told me if I changed the price I would be fired.  The computers went down three different times and we had to process orders manually, which pissed off several other brokers who demanded to know why we took so long to enter their orders.  Lunch sucked because I had to eat it at my desk while I fought with the traders on the floor for reports.

The afternoon was pretty much the same, another five straight hours of answering questions and arguing over the phone.  There were no breaks, there was no quiet.  Telephones and high-speed printers provided a constant noise.  I left the office at 6:00 pm and caught the Path train back to Newark.  The train had no heat, but I did get a seat next to a dude who kept falling asleep and nodding off on my shoulder.  His breath rivaled that of a St. Bernard.

The train from Newark to home was uneventful, and I was lucky enough to have a seat handle to hold on to while standing all the way to New Brunswick.  At the station I ran to the car to get out of the lot before all the other commuters jammed the exit.  Four stop lights and my usual 20 minute drive home and I walk in the back door.  At 7:45 pm I was finally home.  I made the monumental mistake of asking, “What’s for dinner?” and got an earful about what an insensitive ass I am for worrying about dinner without first asking my wife, “How was your day?” Then I heard forty minutes of how miserable her day was.

I wolfed down a cold dinner because everyone else had already eaten.  I clean up the kitchen, help two kids with their homework and yell at another for something he did while I was at work.

That was how my day was.
That was how my day was every day for forty years. 

Well it was not every day.  On a good day the gas filter didn’t clog and the car didn’t stall.



*SAHM – Stay at home mom (For Cranky’s friends who have yet to crawl out from under the rock.)      


  1. Now I know why you are Mr.Cranky.....Happy Friday.....:0)

  2. 40 years of that earns you the right to be either cranky, insane or a saint! (or possibly a combination of all three ;).

    Happy Friday Joe, I hope today was a great day.

  3. Damn, Joe. That sounds horrible. I think I would have made a career change to something easier, more laid back. Like maybe becoming a crab fisherman in the Bering Strait in the winter. ;)


  4. Well, I must say. I have more respect for my husband. I am a SAHM and I do often bitch about stupid shit. It's not like I never worked in the "real world" I've only been a SAHM for 3 years. Sometimes I do forget with all the dumbasses we have to work with. Next time my husband asks me "how was my day" I will reply. It was good!
    Thanks for posting. I may have to come back tomorrow for another dose of counseling :)

  5. This "day" was clearly exagerated to make a point. Cranky respects and appreciates how difficult it can be for a SAHM.

    In addition, those who work in an office have their coworkers to whom they can vent. SAHM's are without adult conversation all day.

    I get it!

  6. I don't know which sounds worse, the getting there or doing the job. I wonder if it would have helped if you had unloaded all that on the sahm.

  7. Heh!
    I was just thinking how it was for those brokerage folks here on the West Coast... doing what you did, only three hours earlier.
    The one advantage they have is they're home before dinner.

  8. Reading this was like looking at a terrible car accident. You know you shouldn't, but you can't help yourself, you know what I mean?! This is hilarious! The bic lighter made me laugh out loud as I pictured you driving looking through that little hole in your windshield.

    But seriously, I hope you never made the mistake again of asking your wife what's for dinner before you asked her how her day was. No matter WHAT kind of day you had :)

  9. You deserve your retirement.

    I'm not ready to retire, but only because I don't have enough money to do so. But I'll tell you that while I miss the paycheck, I am not missing the many daily aggravations I had from my job. I expect there will be many more aggravations in my employment future, but for now I am totally enjoying the aspects of not working that involve being relatively stress free.

  10. Forty years of that? Incredible. You have a much higher resistance to pain than I do.

  11. Isn't that how a man's day is supposed to go?

  12. Well, that explains a lot. You're one tough old dude. I'm sure there was sunshine along the way and I hope you didn't overlook it.

  13. Hmmmm.....that doesn't sound so bad to me.....unless you left out the part where they call you in the middle of the night because the computer program which produces the Payroll crashed and you have to rush in, find the problem, fix it and reinstall the pgm so that the Payroll can be produced by tomorrow morning. Of course, that doesn't happen every week., Some weeks it is the Inventory pgm which crashes and must be fixed before the next day's business.

    In spite of all that, I loved my job and my work so I rarely complained about that stuff. It was incompetent,idiotic,infuriating management that finally drove me to griping, ranting and exiting.

    But, back to your day......Lovely post, Joe.

  14. Man cave time, Man cave time!

    I recall being just like that, when the baby was young and I was shell shocked by my life change. Especially the bit you mentioned, no adult conversation!

    Then I realised Hubby was staying later and later at work, just to not have to come home to me. And my misery.

    A few years later, we have "man cave time", 30 minutes of time for him to adjust from "work" to "home". I try to have something positive to say to him about my day, which means I am looking out for positive things DURING my day and has been a wonderful thing.

    That I joined a training circus and am having huge amounts of fun and we have a new kitten definately helps on the happy response to "how was your day".

  15. You're funny Joe.
    Fancy putting up with that shit for 40 years! No wonder you're cranky.
    Mine is the opposite. I ask my husband about his day, and he tells me, and I listen (mostly). He doesn't ask me about mine. Apparently working from home doesn't deserve to be told. So of course I tell him anyway.
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

  16. I dunno Joe. Try doing that lot AND being the one to have to put the cold dinner on the table and get back to me...


  17. You did that for 40 years... clearly if it was that awful you would have changed jobs!
    I appreciate what my husband has to do at his job every day... and he appreciates what I do at my 'job' every day too.
    I've been a SAHM for 34 years, raising 6 kids and 2 grandkids... and it's NO PICNIC.
    I am on the countdown now... only about 8 years to go and the two grandkids will be all grown up!!!

    When YOU retire (or have you already?) you can relax. A mother's job is never over.

  18. Having been in the corporate world and now in the one of a SAHM, the stresses are definitely different. Both can take their toll. Parenting though, has a tendency to last more than 40 years and there aren't any retirement benefits...

  19. Having been in the corporate world and now in the one of a SAHM, the stresses are definitely different. Both can take their toll. Parenting though, has a tendency to last more than 40 years and there aren't any retirement benefits...

  20. I always make a point of being brutally honest when someone asks me how my day was. They shouldn't ask if they don't want to know!

  21. This would be funny if it wasn't so sad. I know that reality of the daily grind all too well, and so does my husband. He has worked six days a week at his job for over 30 years! You get home too tired and brain dead to care. At least we both take the time to listen to each other's woes of the day, often waiting for hot tub time later to talk about it. Some supper and relaxing time first! It's hard for the stay at home parent too, since they've been waiting all day for someone to share their time with. Glad you survived and have things much nicer now!

  22. How was your day Cranky? (yeah.. blah blah, whatever) You want to hear about mine now????

    I'm GUILTY! Thanks for the laughs and for the marriage counselling. Boy do I get my money's worth when I come on over here. Wait. This is free.

    btw, You made yourself sound like a polygamist at the start of the post.. 'one of your wives' haha!

  23. Wow! The only way that day could have been worse was if you were a WAFHM (Work Away From Home Mom) and came home to start the household duties after your paid shift.

  24. Sorry that you took parts of my comment to heart.
    I was referring to JOBS... men's at work and Mums at home, NOT how parents love and care for their kids.

    When a MAN retires from his JOB, he can relax from his JOB... you know, the thing that brings in the money... whereas for a lot of us women our JOB is doing the housework, caring for kids, etc etc... and that actually never ends. HOUSEWORK never ends.

    Chris H

  25. Boy, do i know that scenario.

    Old Rodney Dangerfield joke:

    " I haven't talked to my wife in 30 years. I'm waiting for her to finish what she's saying."'

    But you're right, when she asks about my day, I know I'm in for 45 minutes on why her's was so awful.