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Saturday, January 19, 2013

I Shouldn’t Be Alive III

I Shouldn’t Be Alive III

As I watch the 6 o’clock news, and read the latest expert surveys on the internet it becomes more and more clear that for many reasons:



I drank from communal water fountains and garden hoses

I jump started a car hooking pos to pos and neg to neg

I ate peanut butter

I used handrails without using Purell

I used J+J Baby Oil to “Tan Faster”

I drove without a seatbelt

I dove in the shallow end

I ran with scissors

I ate really fast

I operated heavy machinery while on Alka-Seltzer Plus

I watched TV from way up close

I swallowed “Pop Rocks” with soda.

I didn’t eat all my vegetables

I drove with my ex-wife drive while she was having “an incident.” (Throwing a shit fit!)

I struck a match without closing the cover

I took an aspirin that was past the expiration date

I doubled the recommended dose of Ibuprofen to battle a really bad hangover.

I played with mercury from a broken thermometer.


For more reasons I should not be above ground see:

I Shouldn’t Be Alive

I Shouldn’t Be Alive II


  1. And I'll bet you rode a bike without wearing a helmet and climbed a tree without "fall protection", too, didn't you? Bad boy, bad boy! ;)


  2. It is amazing that any of us of a certain age are still here considering the "dangerous" habits we grew up with. I even survived growing up in a neighborhood where dogs and cats roamed around freely.

  3. How about jumping off the deck with an open umbrella playing parachute men?

  4. At least when you were a kid you never spoke with a stranger, right?

  5. Oh those were the days weren't they? I remember riding my skateboard w/o protecting gear and running over my sister who was racing me both of us ended up with road rash. Granted those were the days of "walk it off" when the parents just said, "stop that crying it'll make ya tougher" Thanks for the Deja' Vu' posting.

  6. It's amazing that any of us made it to adulthood!!

  7. It's amazing that any of us made it to adulthood!!

  8. More wonderful stuff to contemplate! Then of course I had to go back and read the two earlier editions of this post. Wow, if it was a check list I'd be right there beside you, isn't it amazing that we've lived to tell the tale! I figure we all have to go somehow. I think I'd like to go out smiling with a Hershey bar in my mouth! :-)

  9. As a kid, did you ever stretch out on that ledge under the car's back windshield and have a nap on a long trip?

  10. I see these lists a lot and understand they are trying to point out how restrictive we have made life for children these days.

    But then I think... of all the children who died from doing these things that I personally knew. All the surgeries I have had to remove skin cancers. The two teen friends I lost who didn't wear their seatbelts.

    And then I can see where the restrictions came from. They came from our trauma, our loss, our desire to not let it happen to someone else.

  11. Actually, Joe, we've both been dead for about fifty years. I wasn't going to break the news to you this way, but you forced my hand.

  12. I'll bet there are some people who would question your right to life! I know in my case it would be an ex-wife!


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