YELLING AT THE TV (From December 2011)
I know it's a PC, Blogger won't let me use pictures from my own files...this is the best I could do.
Am I the
only one that yells at the TV? Mrs.
Cranky thinks that I am. I only recently
started yelling at the TV. I think yelling
is a product of age.
I watch a
TV quiz show contestant and I have to yell.
“What bird
can swim, but not fly?”
a. Eagle
b. Seagull
c. Penguin
d. Seal
“Gee Regis
let me think. An eagle can fly, and some
dive to catch fish, but I don’t think they can swim. Hmmm a seagull is around water; I don’t think
a seal is even a bird. Er ah…”
“PENGUIN YOU FUCKING IDIOT IT’S A
FUCKING PENGUIN!! THESE ARE THE EASY
ONES YOU DIPSHIT!!”
Mrs. Cranky
downstairs washing dishes gets panicky, “WHAT?
WHY ARE YOU YELLING?”
“THIS NUMBNUTS IS TAKING FOREVER TO
ANSWER AN EASY QUESTION.”
Mrs. Cranky,
out of breath from running up the stairs counters, “It's TV! I T I
S A T V S H
O W. Why are you yelling?”
I don’t know
why I yell, I never used to yell. When
you get older you have no patience. I
feel like I am losing two and a half minutes of my life that I will never get
back waiting for some freaking idiot to say “penguin.” So I yell.
I yell at
movies on TV, “DON’T GO IN THE BASEMENT YOU IDIOT. WHEN YOU HEAR HEAVY BREATING, GO THE OTHER
WAY!!
I especially
yell at commercials, “FUCK YOU BITCH; HE PAID FOR THE
YOGURT LET HIM EAT IT!!”
I don’t yell
at home. I don’t yell in stores. I don’t yell in the car (maybe a little), I
don’t yell at the radio, and I don’t yell at what I read.
What is it
about getting older that makes me yell at the TV?
I ike the theory of hating to loose time. Get on with it. My husband says I sound ike my mother when I talk back to it.
ReplyDeleteI don't yell. But I talk. And swear.
ReplyDeleteI'm in training. :-)
Pearl
Oh, that's hilarious, and oh so true. My husband and I both yell at the babbling numbskulls on game shows. Their out-loud "deductions" on what should be a simple DUH! drives us nuts. Guess they don't all have to pass a test to get on there, huh?
ReplyDeleteI've been yelling at those fools for years. What rock do they look under to find them? It seems harmless enough. Go ahead and yell till it hurts. ;)
ReplyDeleteS
I have full on conversations with my TV I call her Flo and I love her....:0)
ReplyDeleteHeh heh. My hubby carries on full conversations with those flickering lights on the television screen. I guess he likes that they don't talk back or ask him to do his chores.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I yell at Bill O'Reillys program all the time when he or some other dopey guest says something stupid.
ReplyDeleteYelling at the TV is inexpensive therapy and a great way to keep your blood pressure low.
ReplyDeleteI think you are the only one.
ReplyDelete