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Sunday, August 26, 2018

STUPID HEADLINE 082618


STUPID HEADLINE 082618
Maybe a politician can figure it out
Back by popular demand (my brother said he liked them), stupid headlines of the week and my even stupider sometimes sophomoric comments


Teen gets head stuck in exhaust pipe at country music festival – I’ve always thought country music makes your brain shrink.
Judge says serving powdered milk to prisoners is not, in fact, cruel punishmentExcept when you are not allowed to mix it with water.

Survey says America's favorite vegetable is broccoli – Is this the same survey that said Clinton would win?

'Pregnant' male models steal the show at London Fashion Week – And also at Ripley’s.

Are windowless planes the future of travel? – Have they asked pilots about this idea?

Colombians urged to stop having sex because it's too damn hot – Is it ok for fat and ugly Columbians?

Beer delivery men save the life of potential bridge jumper – “Wait, don’t jump…WE HAVE BEER!”

Mexico City bans use of attractive models during city events – “We the jury find the accused not guilty by reason of ‘she ugly!’”

North Carolina mom in 'disbelief' after son, 10, punished for calling teacher 'ma'am' – In the school’s defense, the teacher, Mr. Andrews, asked to be addressed as ‘Sir’ several times.

MIT develops wireless system to let subs communicate with planes – The old wire to wire hook-up worked ok for communication, but the subs had issues trying to keep up with the planes.

Democrats strip power away from super-delegates – They are now called mediocre-delegates

Good News Story of the Week:

Sea Urchins Save Coral Reefs – I love a good sea urchin story, almost as much as a good dog saving story.


  



 




11 comments:

  1. Glad to see one of my favorite posts back. Are windows taking up too much room 9n those planes? Well we cant have that.

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  2. Have you been saving these up? They're unusually funny! Maybe I just really missed them.

    Maybe the City can appoint a commission to get to the bottom of the sewer thing.

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  3. Now that teen has inspiration to write a song. Maybe the prisoners can eat a milk toast to celebrate for him. I hope nobody tells them about the free beer for the would-be jumper. That would be cruel and unusual punishment.

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  4. Please keep doing Stupid Headlines--I love them!!

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  5. Thanks for bringing back the Stupid Headlines, Joe! I love these.

    Maternity clothes for men - the next Big Thing. . . First dibs on the trademark for 'Manternity'. . .

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  6. These always give me a chuckle!

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  7. About that potential bridge jumper - they probably told him that "beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

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  8. Thank your brother for me. And the sea urchins.

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  9. "Are windowless planes the future of travel?" "Coffee? Tea? Super strong tranquilizer?"

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  10. These made me laugh - but as someone who used to write headlines as a sub-editor, I'm not laughing too loudly! My favourite headlines on the last newspaper I worked on (neither of them mine, I hasten to add) was the one where the L had been missed out of PUBLIC and the one that called draft regulations, daft regulations.

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  11. Thanks to your brother for bringing these back...I needed a good laugh today! The beer story reminded me of one of our Docs who said he drove a beer truck in the summer when he was in college. He said it was the best job he ever had...better than medicine because he said everyone LOVED the beer guy!

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