Nail Polish Driving is
Buzzed Driving
Do women
still do their own nails? It seems like everywhere I go there are multiple
nail salons. None of my wives ever did
their own nails. Apparently, these days,
for about 10-15 bucks, you can sit in a chair and someone named Kim will do
your nails for you.
My mom
always did her own nails. She was a
master at it, often doing them in the car.
She could do both hands in three stop lights. She did not polish nails and drive; my mom
was a responsible manicurist.
The first traffic
light would be all mom needed to remove the old polish. I got my very first contact high from the solvent mom used to remove the old polish while I was sitting in
the front seat of the car.
The second light was time enough to give all her nails a quick buff.
The second light was time enough to give all her nails a quick buff.
The third
light was the most amazing. With the
bottle between her legs and eyes glancing occasionally to check the stop light
status, mom would dip and paint. She
could cover a nail in one swipe and not get the polish on anything but her
nail. It was sheer poetry in motion.
You may
wonder, “Why did your mom do her nails
in the car? Why not just do them at home
in her leisure?”
I don’t
know. Probably because she had no
leisure, and if she did she would not waste it doing her nails when she could do
that while driving.
As I think
back, the process was not all that safe.
Yes, she did most of the process waiting at a red light, but when the
polish was on, she drove with one hand at a time while blowing on her nails and
or waving her hand around to have the polish dry.
Yes, those
were dangerous days my friend. There
were no seat belts, no power steering or antilock brakes. Children were not strapped in car seats, but
bounced around in the back, made noise, and distracted the driver with that “I’m not touching you” game.
There were
no cell phone distractions to cause accidents, but I have no idea how we
survived with mom driving one-handed, air drying her nails, all while flying
high on an acetone polish-remover buzz.
You're lucky you're still alive!!
ReplyDeleteI can see where you would be in awe, and extremely lucky too! Woe be to the kid in the front passenger seat when she had to brake quickly and her wet polish got in his/her face. (I would throw my arm out to protect my 'shotgun' until I quit driving, ha ha)
ReplyDeleteYour mom had a great talent for sure! I can change pantyhose (wearing a dress) while being a passenger in a car, but never attempted anything like that or doing my nails while driving. Had a friend in Southern California who had a long commute. Add slowed/stopped traffic to her commute time, she got proficient doing her makeup in the car while stuck. Ingenious. Her and your mom.
ReplyDeletebetty
People were more self-reliant back then! And kids were tougher.
ReplyDeleteI paint my nails but I couldn't do them driving! That's skill and I'm in awe. Your mom was awesome. 😊
ReplyDeleteI paint my nails but I couldn't do them driving! That's skill and I'm in awe. Your mom was awesome. 😊
ReplyDeleteDoing each nail with only one swipe of the brush is a skill indeed and doing it while driving is even more skilful. Did your mother have slim fingers with narrow nails? I have wide nails and need three swipes of the brush. There's no way I could get that done while driving.
ReplyDeleteIn those days nail polish took longer to dry so it makes your Mom even more clever. Talking of the amount of nail bars... I counted in nine in one small street. I think those who go on a regular basis must be rich.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember the last time I painted my nails, I just cut them when they get too long. I can't imagine trying to drive and do them at the same time, sounds like a recipe for disaster in more ways than one! Having said that, my Mum was a TERRIBLE driver even when she focused fully on the road.
ReplyDeleteI am impressed with your mom's ability to apply nail polish at all, let alone in a car. Now if she also did her toe nails...
ReplyDeleteIt is quite amazing any of the previous generations lived long enough to spawn the progeny of today.
Women seem to like multi tasking while they drive..I've seen them using a curling iron while they drive and, yes, drying their polish. There\s way more traffic now and when I see these time deprived moms using their drive time to multi task I try to give them lots (and lots) of room.
ReplyDeleteMmmmmm. . . Acetone. . .
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the good old days Joe, I remember them well....
ReplyDeleteI do my own nails, but can't imagine doing them in the car. Then again, I can barely eat a banana while driving, so I'm not very talented.
ReplyDeleteWomen have super talents.
ReplyDeleteHats off to your Mom. That was some talent. I need a steady support and time. Can't imagine the pressure of it being a timed event.
ReplyDeleteMommies are magic. It's just that simple.
ReplyDeletePolishing nails while in the car took a strong degree of talent. I remember even occasionally doing my toe nails with foot upon dash at a stop light.
ReplyDeleteThat just took "youth."
Great post
I still paint my nails - (not in the car) I'm old school.
ReplyDeleteI'm a klutz...I can't paint my nails even in the privacy and leisure time of my own home. I've seen people do their makeup/shave/read the paper while driving. That scares me at the same time I'm awed at those multi-tasking skills. However, those skills seem to end for most people when it comes to using turn signals while driving.
ReplyDelete