STUPID HEADLINES 051417
It’s
time again for
 |
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Family dog wakes up owners during
home fire in Minnesota – Before you dog lovers start that, “a cat would never do this” gloating,
the dog and his owners live in Texas.
Florida girl, 10, pries open
alligator's jaws to free herself – Holy Crap! That is one
brave and strong little girl!!
United Airlines flies woman to San
Francisco instead of France – All the way to SF she screamed, “Please, drag me off this
plane!”
'Nightmare house' Zillow listing
tells buyers: Don't ask about mysterious occupant upstairs – This one might be on the market for a
while!
DC lawmakers speak out after
Arboretum guard ‘yelled’ at children on field trip – Ooh…These poor kindergarten children
will be scarred for life. Yelled at!
Where is the humanity? Also, where are
the chaperones to tell five-year-old’s not to play on the grass when in a
museum for agriculture?
Sears CEO on Turnaround Try: 'I Am
Not in Denial' – Why
would anyone think Sears is in trouble?
Just the other Saturday I saw four or five cars in their parking lot.
OPEC to U.S.: Please don't pump so
much oil! – “Sure,
whatever you say…on the other hand eat s***!”
Scientists plan to trap a ship in
Arctic ice – Shhh,
be very quiet, here comes one now.
Scorpion scare causes delay on United
flight out of Houston – Order was restored after armed guards dragged the enraged arachnid off the plane…lawsuit to follow.
That Time Jimi Hendrix Opened for the
Monkees- That’s a bit like Shakespeare writing
the forward to a Dean Koontz novel.
PARIS HILTON CLAIMS SHE INVENTED THE
SELFIE – We should
name a street after her for this great accomplishment, instead of Elm Street
how about Annoying-Blonde-Rich-Slut Drive?
AND THE FEEL-GOOD STORY
OF THE WEEK:
Wild Baby Kangaroo Still Comes Home
to Hug His Teddy Bear After Release – Aww
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COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
You gotta admit that little kangaroo story is cute. Aw ...
ReplyDeleteI know I don't comment all the time, but I always love these. The Monkees and Hendrix. I would have loved to have been at that one. No, really - I liked both of them!
ReplyDeleteThe kangaroo is pretty cute, but the dog waking his family about a house fire in Minnesota is impressive, wonder how he knew a house was burning all the way in Minnesota.
ReplyDeleteWhy couldn't Paris Hilton invent the selfie? Al Gore invented the internet!!
ReplyDeleteApparently that alligator tried to eat Wonder Girl
ReplyDeleteLoved your take on trapping ships.
ReplyDeleteWait, Sears is still around?
ReplyDeleteAnnoying-Blonde-Rich-Slut Drive? Bwahahahahahahaha. You captured her perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI linked you to Silly Sunday as usual.
Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
Aw...what a cute little guy hugging his teddy.
ReplyDelete"OPEC to U.S.: Please don't pump so much oil!"
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking we should start hiring for a third shift. ;)
"Sears CEO on Turnaround Try: 'I Am Not in Denial' – Why would anyone think Sears is in trouble? Just the other Saturday I saw four or five cars in their parking lot."
ReplyDeleteHa, just today I drove past Sears and they actually had a HIRING sign out front. They are in major denial.
That Florida girl learned what to do about that alligator at Gatorland! (That's where I learned it, too, only I haven't had to use that skill yet)
ReplyDelete