VOICES OF AUTHORITY
This cranky re-run is from May 2013
There is “The Boss” who loves to spout instructions that are ridiculous but sound very important and “Boss-like.” My favorite is, “I don’t care how you do it, just get it done!” How inspirational, so instructive, so helpful…
There is the preacher who tries to sound like he believes God would sound. He speaks loud and slow and with prefect diction. “And so GoDDD spake to the Israelites and he said, ‘Do not do what you know you should not for if you do then it will be displeasing to me that you would do that which I asked you not to do regardless of how you believe this is what needs to be done.’ Thus I beseech you to listen to GoDDD and don’t do that!”
“Wha wha wha what?”
There is the politician who tells you what you want and tells you how you think.
“The American people are tired of high taxes; they want better roads and lower oil prices. The American people are tired of politics as usual and seek change and forward thinking to progress in a positive direction. The American people know that anything bad that happened these last four years would have been worse if I was not your leader and everything that was good came about because of my policies. The American people….”
“Blah blah blah.”
My favorite voice of authority is the airline pilot. I would vote for any President who could make a State of the Union Address like an airline pilot.
“Attention citizen passengers, this is your President speaking. On the domestic front the economy may be a bit bumpy, so you will have to tighten your belt a smidge. We will be traveling at about 8% inflation with little sign of improvement for most of the trip. We may need to hike taxes just a bit; this is for your own protection and safety, please bear with us. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
On the international flights we also expect much turbulence especially from the Mid-east and parts of Asia. Please just remain calm and we will try to weather any storms in these areas.
We would like to thank you for your vote, we know you have several choices and we hope to have you come back to our Party again soon. We should reach our destination of peace in the world and prosperity at home in about four more years so just sit back, let us handle the controls and enjoy your journey."
I would love my airline pilot-President; how about the Miracle-on-the- Hudson pilot Captain Sully Sullenberger.