The Change for a Five
Look, Delay and Dip
 |
| Practicing "The Look." |
I commuted
from New Jersey to New York City for most of forty years. There are a few
things you have to learn to survive commuting to New York City. You have to learn to make you own elbow room
and squeeze your way onto a bus or subway.
You have to learn how to flip and fold a large newspaper into a small
square that allows you to read without hanging the newspaper over another
passenger.
Ordering
breakfast-to-go at any NYC deli in the morning takes technique. There is always a large line, and you must
know exactly what you are going to order when it is your turn. If you pause, they will go to the next in
line...there have been tourist known to starve to death as they could not get
their order in fast enough.
Believe it
or not, you also need to know how to receive change back on a purchase. “What!”
you say? Let me explain.
Vendors in
the city are masters at the “delayed
change for a five look, delay and dip.”
Here is how
it works.
Commuters
are always in a hurry. When they make a purchase,
they want to grab their change and go as fast as possible. They are also often thinking about work as
they make their purchase. NYC vendors
take advantage of this.
When you are
racing for your train, you give the news-stand dude a dollar and wait impatiently as
he hands you your 75 cents change (I’m going back to when the Daily News
was a quarter…I actually remember when it was 8 cents). This was my routine every morning. Every once and a while instead of a dollar, I
had a fiver. This is where the “delayed change for a five look, delay and
dip” comes into play.
The vendor
takes the five-dollar bill and immediately hands you 75 cents, he always has
piles of 75 cents at the ready to speed things along, he then looks at you
without saying anything…it is a “yeah,
anything else” kind of look. He then
slowly bends down and reaches for a pile of four dollar bills to complete the
transaction.
Even the
experienced commuter, in a hurry, thinking about work, when he gets the look, just takes his 75 cents and
leaves out of habit. The vendor, thanks to the delay
and dip, is not able to stop you. When
he arises from his dip with the four dollars, the hurried commuter is off to
work.
I fell for
the “delayed change for a five look,
delay and dip” a lot. I never even
realized I got beat out of the four bucks until lunch when I needed the
money and came up short. The
realization was followed by a palm to forehead smack and a one word expletive
that starts with the “PH” sound.
You may ask,
“Why not just return to the vendor the
next day and explain that you failed to wait for your four dollars the day
before?”
“HAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Welcome to
New York City.
This is the sort of thing that makes me always have the correct change for small things such as newspapers, in a separate pocket too, so I can just dip in there and come up with the correct coins in one go.
ReplyDeleteBreakfast-to-go has me baffled. I know what it is and I know it's a big thing over there, along with breakfast at a diner. It's beginning to take hold here too I think. But I've rarely left the house without first having breakfast. The exception is usually because I'm fasting for a blood test. I'm a big fan of my home cooked porridge or scrambled eggs on toast or pancakes. If I have to get up earlier to be able to leave home with a full tummy and the dishes washed up and put away, that's what I'll do.
For once, I am happy to live in a hick town where everyone walks and talks (and counts) slow.
ReplyDeleteI can just hear, "Yes, I remember you; here's your four dollars, ma'am" in my dreams!!
ReplyDeleteGood thing you weren't trying to break a $100 bill to buy a bottle of wine (or Pepsi) for a dinner party.
ReplyDeleteI can see this happening to me in a rush to get where I need to go. I had to laugh about being ready to order for breakfast; I indeed would be like one of those tourists, I don't think I could get my order out quick enough, native New Yorkian or not. God forbid what would my BIL and SIL do. They have food allergies and ordering at a restaurant with them can be a painful experience when they ask what is in this, what is in that, and then have to think about what they can order. I guess this would take care of their food allergies; they would never get any food ordered in the first place.
ReplyDeletebetty
ReplyDeleteThank you for lots of smiles!
It happens here too on train station if we order for something they always wait for train to run and mostly keep all the change they had to return .
I imagined the one who paused Haha
I often will say, "Out of 20" or whatever bill I hand the clerk, just so there's no mistake.
ReplyDeleteTimes have changed (price of a paper) and not changed (human nature).
ReplyDeleteThat is one smooth operation.
ReplyDeleteNice. Four bucks here, four bucks there, and pretty soon, you're dealing with real money!
ReplyDeleteThat's why I live in a small town and avoid the big cities. They smell better and the people are a lot nicer. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
The one I've been hearing since in LA is "Do you want change?"...for instance you've just got a burger for 10 bucks and handed over a 20.
ReplyDeleteYet another reason to avoid the Evil City ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh now that is slick, makes you wonder how many times per day this actually works.
ReplyDeleteI'd probably be one of those starving to death for not ordering quick enough.
You account of ordering reminds me of the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld. As for the slow change guy, sure am glad I ignored the pull of the big city and stayed a hick.
ReplyDeleteAnother reason to be mindful, even while in a hurry.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. Everyone has to make a living.
ReplyDeleteR
...you must know exactly what you are going to order when it is your turn... <-- I was going to mention the Soup Nazi, too, but Patti beat me to it.
ReplyDeleteThe Soup Nazi was not a completely made up character.
DeleteWow NYC. I went back there to visit some friends who moved there from the bay area. I stayed a week with them, in Morristown New Jersey. As a west coast gal, I LOVED it. It's so different. The people, the smells. Anyway, one thing I wanted to do was ride a subway in commute. So we got on at Hobokem or near there and had to change cars a couple of times. I even got yelled at by some Jamaican woman, because I wasn't fast enough. It was funny to me.
ReplyDeleteSome people say we Californian's are different and yes that is true but so are New Yorkers. It's like a totally different country than from where I come from in California. Like they say, I LOVE NY and I want to take my husband there, sometime soon.