Old People

Old People

There are several stages in one’s life with regards to new stuff:

1.     The first stage is excitement.  Brand new stuff makes you very excited and you cannot wait to use it.  (Toddler to teens)

2.     New stuff is intriguing.  You have to give it a try.  (Old enough to know everything)

3.     You desperately want new technology because all your friends have it. (Young adult)

4.     You need new technology for work, or to just fit in with your peers. (Middle-age)

5.     You like new stuff, but you can live with it or without it.  (Passing fifty)

6.     You are forced to use new technology because old technology is no longer supported.  (Almost retired)

7.     You don’t need or use new technology.  (You are retired)

8.     You not only don’t use it, new technology actually makes you angry, people should not even mention it in your presence.  (Old Coot)

I love old people, I really do, after all, I am one.  Part of being old is being set in our ways. 

I remember trying to convince my mom into trying new technology.  New technology then was like cable TV, or power anything in a car, or touch-tone phone, or a microwave.

“What? Why would I ever pay for TV?”

“Why would I pay extra to not have to turn a crank?”

“How much time do I save over a rotary dial?  I should pay for that?”

“A regular oven works just fine, and I don’t think food would taste as good with a microwave!” Well she was right about the taste thing.

Old people don’t need new stuff that helps them do things faster or easier…they’ve gotten on just fine without that new-fangled stuff.  At some point, old people just get worn out relearning better ways to do stuff that they never knew they needed to do better.

I get it.  I feel that way about new stuff too.  When my son starts explaining his internet music or how to operate his TV, my eyes just gloss over… “What do I need that for?”  “Why would I pay for that?”

OMG, I am becoming my mom!

I do like some new technology, and I understand if old people do not, but what I really love about old people, is when old people get angry about new stuff.

“Facebook?  I don’t do that face thing, who needs it, it is just full of trash and nonsense!”

Yes, but if you use it correctly it also has pictures and messages from friends and family and especially grandchildren!

“Smart phone?  Don’t need it, don’t want it, I don’t want people bothering me all the time!”

I can’t leave the house without my i-phone.  Of course, I don’t have an iPod or music on my phone, I have those new-fangled CD’s, why do I need anything else?

I don’t tweet or Pinter, download or app.  I have an i-phone, a PC, cable TV and a Kindle and that is where I draw the line.  I think I have reached overload.  What do I need new stuff for?  Why would I pay for something I don’t really need?  I’m fine with the stuff I have.  Change pisses me off.

Don’t even mention anything new, I am approaching stage 8, and heading for Old Coot designation.